


42 Days

by StarXxCrossed



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, Friendship, High School, Humour, Romance, Season 3, new directions - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-07
Updated: 2012-12-12
Packaged: 2017-11-07 05:08:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 48,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/427207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarXxCrossed/pseuds/StarXxCrossed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Santana likes Rachel Berry. Senior year is coming to an end and Santana only has 42 days to make Rachel fall in love with her. Rated M for later chapters. Pezberry endgame.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Santana opened her locker in preparation for her next class. She was just about to grab her books when she heard the familiar voice from behind her.

“Hi.”

She paused for a moment, unsure of exactly why Rachel Berry was talking to her. It was not like they were very close. They had their small moments, but they were still only moments. It came with the territory for Santana. Rachel Berry was the bottom of the food chain. She herself was a Cheerio. The school hierarchy system kept them apart; kept them from being friends; kept them from being more than friends.

The raven haired girl turned to meet the bubbly brunette. With confusion laced in her voice, she responded.

“Hi.”

“You know, you can learn a lot about a person by looking into their locker.”

“Are you like stalking me?”

Santana was merely joking, but then again, this was Rachel Berry. The brunette was never pegged as being the ‘ordinary’ type.

“You know we blew it right?” Santana tilted her head as Rachel continued. “We wasted three years going at each other’s throats. We could have been singing together, killing it in Glee Club.”

“We hated each other. Actually, I hated you.”

Hated was the key word in the Latina’s sentence. In freshmen year, maybe sophomore year, she may have hated Rachel Berry. Or that’s what she thought it was. After Santana came out to herself and her family, she realized those feelings of hate were not hate at all. It was because she liked Rachel. She liked her a lot.

When Rachel bowed her head with a small pout, Santana immediately felt a small pain in her chest.

“Sorry,” Santana couldn’t help but smile. She had it bad for Rachel and her pout wasn’t helping. “Yes our duet in Glee was a whole truck load of awesome.”

It was true, there duet was amazing. The Latina was surprised when Rachel came to her with the idea, but she also couldn’t help the flutter in her stomach at the idea of Rachel singing with her.; the idea of Rachel wanting to sing with her.

Santana was sitting in her living room of her large home on a Friday night. Usually she would be at a party by now, but she wasn’t in the mood. She was sitting on the couch looking over university books as Sweet Valley High played in the background. People assumed Santana didn’t care for her education, and most people thought she was stupid. But they were wrong. Santana had made honour roll every year at McKinley. She would be damned if she got stuck living in this cow town. She wanted more, a lot more. She wanted somewhere like New York.

Her parents, though very absentee, wanted the best for her. They always wanted her to be a doctor like them, but she wanted something different. Sure she wanted fame, and sure she wanted to sing, but she needed a backup plan. Her plan was law school. Arguing, it had always been a passion. It was something she was good at. Something about being a lawyer excited the Latina. She could see herself doing it. She could see herself in an office which overlooked the city. She could see herself buried in cases but being amazingly happy. She could see herself going home after a long day to her beautiful wife, maybe some kids later on. She could see herself happy.

As her eyes scanned over an NYU booklet, she heard a knock at the door. The ravened haired girl assumed it was Puck once again trying to convince her to come to his party. She loved the guy, he was a great lesbro, but she just needed time to think about her future. She put the NYU booklet down and made her way to the front door. When she opened it, she was surprised to see who was standing there. “Rachel?”

“Y-yes, hello Santana. I was in the neighbourhood and I w-”

“What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?”

“Um, Quinn gave me the address actually. You have a lovely home. I thought you lived in Lima Heights Adjacent?”

“No just Lima Heights.”

Santana always used the Lima Height Adjacent act to ward of slushie assaults. It was easier to build a facade that she was a mega bitch from the wrong side of the tracks than the rich girl who lived in Lima Heights.

“Right, so I assume you think it is quite weird I am here.”

“You would be correct, Berry.”

“So, as you know it is Whitney week in Glee, and I was wondering if you wanted to sing a duet with me?”

“You want me to sing a duet with you? What’s your angle?”

“No angle, I have just noticed that our voices seem to mesh together quite well. Aside from Mercedes, you are the next strongest female voice in the club. It is very hard to keep up with me and you see to do pretty well for yourself.”

“Was that just a huge ego boost for you because I kind of stop listening after you complimented me.”

Rachel’s cheeks flushed red before she continued to speak.

“Sorry, still haven’t found a way to control my rambling it seems.”

“You’re still doing it. Are you planning on getting to a point today, or are you just talking to hear you own voice?”

“I want to sing So Emotional.”

Santana was a little taken back. She was a closeted Whitney fan herself, so at the mention of that song in particular, she couldn’t help but blush. She was never more thankful for her tan skin which surely hid the blush well.

“Rachel, you do know what that song is about right?”

“I am Rachel Barbra Berry, of course I know what the song is about.”

“And you are choosing to sing that particular song with me? I thought maybe you would try and get Quinn for this sort of thing.”

“As lovely as her voice is, it is not suited for this arrangement. Besides, she seems wrapped up in that Teen Jesus guy for reasons unknown.”

Santana had to stifle a laugh. “And you sure Finnocence won’t get mad?”

“Why exactly would he be mad?”

“Because I would be singing about how much I want to be with his girl.”

If only Rachel knew that was the truth. It was shortly after she came out that she realized she had feelings for the petit brunette. She had tried to be with Brittany, and she was a great first girlfriend, but she was no Rachel Berry.

“I am aware, but I still see no problem. It’s not like you actually want to be with me, right?”

It was something in the way she said it that really made Santana think. It was like Rachel was asking something else completely. Did Rachel like her back?

Santana didn’t have time to ponder that, so she answered quickly.

“No, of course not.”

Santana couldn’t miss the way Rachel’s face fell. There was an immediate sharp pain in her chest before Rachel continued with her proposition.

“So it’s settled, you will sing a duet with me on Monday for Glee club.”

“Well, I-um”

“There is no questioning, we are singing together. Now are you going to invite me in, or were you planning of practicing on your front porch.”

“No, sorry, come in.”

Rachel breezed past her and made her way towards the kitchen. Santana soon followed and could see Rachel setting up her laptop and spreading sheet music over the kitchen table.

“Is there a reason we are in the kitchen?”

“Aside from the bathroom, the kitchen has the best acoustics. Now come over here so we can get started.”

As Santana approached the small brunette, she knew that this was going to be a very long night. However, she could help but smile at the thought of spending her Friday night with Rachel Berry.

Monday came faster than Santana would have liked. As she stood of to the side with Rachel, she couldn’t help the nervous butterflies that floated around in her stomach. Sure she loved singing and loved getting solos, but she always got nervous before a performance. Especially now, with a performance that revealed her deepest, darkest secret. She wanted Rachel Berry.

“Are you ready?” Rachel asked.

“Always,” Santana replied as a sly smirk appeared on her lips.

The drums started and the rest of the band followed as the song began. Santana was the first to start singing.

_I don’t know why I like it? I just do._

Santana made her way to the center of the room and shook her hips with the beat. A beaming smile reached her face as she continued forward. A she went through her small runs she could see Rachel smiling out of the corner of her eye. It only encouraged the Latina.

_I've been hearing your heartbeat inside of me  
I keep your photo right beside my bed  
Livin' in a world of fantasies  
I can't get you out of my head_

She pointed towards Rachel before waving the girl over with her fingers. The petit brunette brushed by the Latina as she began to sing.

_I've been waiting for the phone to ring all night  
Why you wanna make me feel so good  
I got a love of my own Babe  
I shouldn't get so hung up on you_

Santana couldn’t deny how unbelievably sexy Rachel looked while singing. It took everything to remember the rest of the words after watching Rachel.

The Latina smiled as she made her way over to Rachel to sing the rest of the song together.

_I remember the way that we touched I wish I didn't like it so much  
I get so emotional, baby   
Every time I think of you   
I get so emotional, baby   
  
_

_Ain't it shocking what love can do  
Ain't it shocking what love can do   
  
I gotta watch you walk in the room, baby  
I gotta watch you walk out  
I like the animal way you move  
And when you talk I just watch your mouth_

_I remember the way that we touched I wish I didn't like it so much  
I get so emotional, baby   
Every time I think of you   
I get so emotional, baby   
  
Ain't it shocking what love can do _

_I get so emotional_

_Oh baby  
Ain't it shocking what love can do_

 

The Glee club erupted into applause after their performance. Santana was about to make her way back to her seat when she felt arms wrap around her. She was surprised to see it was Rachel. She made an effort to try and pry the girl off of her, but she couldn’t ignore how good it felt to have the petit girl’s arms around her.

Santana was brought back from her flashback and met Rachel’s gaze once more. She continued on her thought before she zoned out.

“Look, who cares that it took three years. I mean we still have plenty of time to do it again.”

“We have 42 days left until graduation. I mean, half of that is going to be prepping for nationals. I mean that was it.”

“Oh crap, I think I just realized I’m going to miss you. Oh God, please say something irritating so I can get the taste of this out of my head, please.”

“It’s okay,” Rachel made her way to stand beside Santana, very much standing in her personal bubble. It took a lot of energy not to just lean forward and kiss the starlet. Santana was brought back from her daydream when she heard Rachel continue. “Look, you went out of your way to make my life a living hell for three years.”

Santana looked away and gave a small shrug. The ravened haired girl would do anything to take those years back. If only Rachel knew the real reason why she was so mean to her. 

“But at the end of the day, I know that you respect my talent and my ambition.”

“I like it when you sing. And hey, you’re the only other person at this school besides me who is willing to kill their best friend to get to the top.”

“Yeah,” Santana couldn’t control the heat the pooled between her legs when Rachel husked that out. It only increased when she saw the petit brunette bite her lip. “Will you do me a favour?”

Santana would have done a lot of favours, but she was extremely confused when Rachel pulled out a school photo of herself from her binder.

“Will you put this up in your locker?”

“You want me to put a picture of you in my locker?” This was borderline girlfriend status and the Latina hadn’t even shared her feelings for the starlet.

“Okay, we may not be able to sing together, but have 42 days to at least be friends,” Santana couldn’t help but smile at how adorable and sweet Rachel was. “I’m going to give you a hug. It will be quick.”

Santana let out a small laugh as Rachel quickly wrapped arm arms around her neck. The hug was over before it started and Rachel was soon making her way down the hallway.

“I’ll see you in Glee Club.”

Santana turned to watch Rachel walk down to the end of the hall before she disappeared around the corner. A beaming smile reached as lips as she delicately placed the picture in her locker. The photo contrasted with everything in her locker, but it felt so Rachel Berry. Rachel stood out among everything for Santana.

She looked once more down the hall, almost as if she still expected to see the brunette there. She had only 42 days. She had 42 days to make Rachel fall in love with her. 


	2. Party Plans

Santana sat in the back of her Spanish class and feigned interest as Mr. Shue droned on. Sure she cared about education, but this class was an embarrassment. Mr. Shue was a horrible teacher. The raven haired girl sat in the back of the room and often wondered how the man actually managed to get a teaching license. She was just thankful she was fluent in Spanish, but she felt sorry for her classmates. However, she assumed Mr. Shue wouldn’t actually know if you knew the course content or not because clearly he didn’t know it himself.

It was in this class that she usually let her mind wonder of, and more often than not, her thoughts would wonder off to Rachel. The petit starlet sat at the front of the room, for optimal learning of course. For a majority of the class, she often found herself staring at the brunette. She was thankful she sat in the very back and she was thankful that people tended to avoid making eye contact with her. She wasn’t exactly secretive with her feelings for the future Broadway star.

Her mind seemed to wonder off to thoughts of Rachel a lot more now than they did before. She only had 42 days to convince Rachel to leave Finnocence. She had 42 day to woo the girl.

She was brought out of her daydreams when she felt a sharp jab in her ribs on her right side. She turned and was met with Puck’s annoyed expression.

“Are you even listening to me Lopez?”

“Of course I was listening.”

“Don’t fucking lie, you were looking at her again, weren’t you?”

“I was not,” Santana felt her cheeks grow warm.

“What is up with you lately, Lopez? I know you have the hots for my Jewish princess, but this is just starting to get creepy. You really need to be careful with your leering.”

Santana knew Puck was right. Yeah she was out to the school, but that didn’t mean you started going after the quarterback’s girlfriend; the quarterback’s very straight girlfriend. But there was a sense of hope instilled in Santana. She heard it in Rachel’s voice. Somewhere in their last conversation, she could sense Rachel wanted her to. She just had to make Rachel realize it.

“Hey Puck, I need you to do me a favour.”

“Hell no, the last time you asked for a favour I ended up in the back of a cop car.”

“I told you I’m sorry, okay? It’s not my fault you can’t run. I mean, you’re on the damn football team for god’s sake.”

“Shut up. Ask me for this favour before I decide to change my mind.”

“I need you to have a party this weekend.”

“What the hell, Lopez? You don’t even come to my party on Friday, which I begged you to do, and now you want me to throw a party just so you can mack on Berry? Not a chance.”

“I don’t want to mack on her, though that would be a bonus. I just want her, okay?”

“Why now?”

The Latina had turned that thought around in her head for awhile. Why did she decide to go after her now? Why didn’t she try before? Maybe it was the short deadline, or maybe because she could feel the starlet slipping away. She just knew she had to try because she would be damned if she lived the rest of her life wondering ‘what if.’

“I don’t know ‘why now,’ okay? I just know I want her. I’ve wanted her for awhile.”

“And why do you need me to throw a party?”

“Because this whole ‘friends’ thing is still new to me. Besides, alcohol will definitely be needed to calm my nerves. Maybe it will help loosen her up a little,” Santana smirked.

“I feel like you are forgetting one large flaw in your plan. She’s engaged to Finn. That ring hasn’t left her finger yet.”

Santana focused her eyes to the front of the room once more. She saw the tall, oafish boy put his arm around the tiny brunette. Something seemed so wrong with that picture. They just didn’t fit together. Not like she and Rachel fit together.

“That ring is only on her finger because she doesn’t realize she has other options. Better options. I want her Puck, and I only have 42 days to get her.”

“It’s settled then, party at my house. Be there Saturday at 10. We lesbros have to stick together,” Puck smiled as Santana leaned into him and gave his bicep a squeeze.

“Thank you for this.”

“Anytime, Lopez. However, you still need to do one thing.”

“And what would that be?”

“You need to ask her to the party.”

Santana swallowed the lump in her throat as her gaze found its way back to the front of the room. Getting Puck to have the party was the easy part. The hard part was getting Rachel to come, preferably without frankenteen.

Santana looked down the hall and saw Rachel at her locker. She also noticed that Finn was standing next to her as she put her books away. It was the end of the day and if Santana didn’t ask Rachel now, she would miss out on her chance. She took a deep breath and made her way over to Rachel’s locker.

“Hi, Rachel.”

“Hey, Santana. What are you doing here?”

“Wait, since when are you guys on a first name basis?” Finn piped in.

“I told you, Santana and I have decided to make to most of our last 42 days,” Santana couldn’t help but smile at Rachel’s response. She also couldn’t help but feel annoyed with the boy as he obviously didn’t listen to Rachel often.

“Actually, if you don’t mind frankenteen, I need to steal your girl away for a moment. You know best friend stuff.”

“Whatever, I’ll see you later Rachel.”

Finn kissed Rachel on the cheek and Santana had to swallow the bile that rose in her throat. She could only pray for the day she herself could to the exact same thing. She was hoping this party would be a good start.

Rachel shut her locker and looped her arm through Santana’s. The Latina tensed slightly at the foreign contact, but the uneasy feeling soon went away.

“So, what is this best friend stuff you pulled me away for?”

Santana couldn’t help but smile at that fact Rachel seemed so excited at the new title of ‘best friends.’ Sure it was a jump, but it wasn’t a big enough jump in Santana’s eyes. The Latina needed more.

“Are you busy this weekend?”

“Oh my god, are we going to have a sleepover? I always wondered what it was like to have a sleepover with the one and only, Santana Lopez.”

Santana had to shake away the mental images of Rachel Berry being in her bed. Those images were not going to help her out right now.

“We will have a sleepover soon, I promise,” Rachel beamed and Santana continued. “I was wondering if you want to go to a party this weekend? It would be at Puck’s.”

“I don’t know. Remember the last time we had a party? I was a mess. I convinced myself that Blaine and I were meant to be.”

Santana chuckled at the memory, “What if I promise to take care of you for the night? If things get bad enough, you can crash at my house.”

“You would really do that for me?”

“Of course, that’s what best friends are for.”

Santana noticed how Rachel’s face dropped slightly at the term. It was almost as if Rachel was disappointed with Santana. Almost as if she was expecting something more.

“When is it?”

“Saturday, be there for 10.”

“Will do, I’ll see if Finn is busy that night.”

Rachel squeezed Santana’s arm and began making her way down the hall and towards the parking lot. The Latina was really hoping that Finn wouldn’t be there, but she couldn’t ignore the way that Rachel face dropped a few moments ago. Rachel was hiding something from her and she was going to figure out what it was.

She made a quick stop at her locker, grabbing her books for the weekend, before heading out to the parking lot. She hopped into her black Range Rover and made her way to her house. When she pulled up in her driveway, she was surprised to see her father’s car there. It was not often her parents were home, but the Latina was happy when they were.

She got out of her car and grabbed her bags before making her way to her front door. Once she was inside, she dropped her bags in the front hall closet and placed her keys in the bowl.

“ _Papi_?”

“I’m in the living room, _mija_.”

Santana entered the large living room to see her father sitting in his recliner. He was watching golf on the large television in the room as he drank his scotch. Santana made her way to the couch and sat down.

“How was school?”

“Fine I guess, more of Mr. Shue butchering our native language,” Santana’s father chuckled. “How was work?”

“I cut out early. I have money on this match. Fingers crossed Tiger is going to take it.”

The ravened haired girl never cared for the sport, nor did she understand her father’s love for it, but she just brushed it off. She didn’t know how anyone could possibly take enjoyment in watching the grass grow as monotone announcers droned on about the “exciting action.”

She was pulled away from her daydream when her father caught her attention.

“Your friend, what’s her name?”

“Rachel?”

“Yes, her, she left some of her sheet music here.”

“Thanks, _Papi_. I’ll be sure to get that back to her. I am sure she will freak when she realizes she forgot it.”

“I haven’t seen her around before, is she s new friend?”

“Sort of,” Santana smirked. “We decided to make the best of senior year and put our pasts behind us.”

“You said Rachel, as in Rachel Berry?”

“Yeah, why?” Santana became slightly confused. She noticed her father’s expression change into a sly smile.

“You like her, don’t you?”

“W-what?”

“I remember after Regionals in your sophomore year. You kept going on and on about her, but then you would try and disguise it with insults. I know you weren’t out then, but I just had this feeling. I knew it then and I just couldn’t see it. Father’s intuition I guess.”

Santana blushed at the notion she was so obvious with her attraction to the petit brunette. She had only come out to her parents at the beginning of senior year. It was hard for awhile, it took her parents a few months to adjust, but they eventually accepted her. The Latina’s father was the most supportive of her two parents. She was thankful that she had her _papi_ to talk to. Her mother was supportive, but they weren’t ready to have this kind of discussion yet. They weren’t ready to talk about potential crushes and girlfriends.

“Yeah, I really do like her.”

“She’s dating that tall boy, Finn something?”

“Hudson and yes she is.”

“Well you will just have to put on your Lopez charm and steal her away.”

“ _Papi,_ it’s not that easy,” Santana chuckled.

“Sure it is. When we Lopez’s want something, we go after it. No questions. I know you like her _mija_ , and this Finn guy, he doesn’t stand a chance.”

Santana got up from her spot on the couch and walked over to her father. She bent down and wrapped her arms around his neck and she felt him hug back.

“Thanks, _papi_. I needed that.”

“Anytime, _mija_ ,” Santana pulled back and smiled at her father.

“I am going to do my homework. Puck is having a small party tomorrow and I want to have all my work done.”

“Alright, but be careful at that party. I’ve seen CSI.”

Santana let out a small chuckle before she gave her father a kiss on the cheek. She made her way back to the front hall to grab her bag and then proceeded to go to her bedroom. She set her bag on the bed and pulled out her laptop to start her English essay. Tomorrow she was going to see Rachel Berry. Tomorrow would be day 1 in trying to get Rachel Berry to be her girlfriend.

“Why are you just sitting there? Help me pick out what I am going to wear!”

Santana started getting ready at three and it was already seven. The party started in three hours and she was nowhere near being ready. Everything she tried on looked horrible. Tonight was a nigh to make an impression. If she had any chance of getting Rachel, she would have to look amazingly good.

She threw out another dress which landed on her bed, hitting Puck who was lying there.

“Listen, I know we are lesbros and all, but this is not my area. How the hell should I know what you should wear?”

“You’re a guy, Puck. I just need you to tell me what dress would make you want to sleep with me. It’s not that hard.”

“Look, I am a sex shark. I don’t care what you’re wearing I care about how much alcohol you have consumed. Why didn’t you just call Kurt for this kind of thing?”

“That would be suspicious. I barely talk to the kid. Besides, he would probably pick up that I like Rachel and it would screw up my plans.”

“Babe, everyone can tell you like Rachel. It’s not a big secret.”

Santana walked over to the chair that was in her room and launched a pillow in Puck’s direction. She wanted to be mad but she couldn’t help the smile that broke on her face. The two fell into a fit of laughter before getting back to picking out an outfit.

“I just want her to notice me, you know?”

“You’re Santana freaking Lopez, everyone notices you.”

“But I don’t want to be Santana freaking Lopez. I just want to be Santana. I want to be the girl that is worthy enough to have Rachel Berry hanging off her arm.”

“You really like her, huh?”

“More than you know.”

Puck stood up from the bed and made his way over to Santana. He opened his large arms and surrounded the Latina in a tight embrace. She pressed her cheek to his chest and he put his chin on the top of her head.

“I’d never thought I’d see the day where ‘badass Santana Lopez’ turns into a complete softy.”

She lightly smacked his chest and chuckled, “Shut up. Rachel’s different, okay? She makes me want to be a better person.”

“Then you are going to put on that sexy black dress over there and you are going to come to my party. You are going to get your girl Lopez, and I am going to be here whenever you need me.”

“Thanks Puckerman, who knew Puck the badass could turn into such a softy,” Santana mocked.

“You’re not the only one who can change. Sometimes you need to grow up, “Puck smiled against her hair. “But between you and me, we are still pretty badass.”

“Totally,” Santana beamed.

Santana and Puck pulled out of the embrace and the mohawked boy placed a kiss to her forehead. She made her way back into her closet and found the black dress that Puck was talking about. It was a strapless cocktail dress that was cut off mid thigh. It hugged her curves perfectly. She had to admit, the boy had good taste.

She made her way to the bathroom and straightened her hair. The straight, dark locks hung at shoulder length. She put on her makeup, deciding to go with a classic smoky eye, before exiting the bathroom. When she stepped out, Puck went wide eyed for a moment before his lips curled into a smile. He held out his arm, asking for the Latina to take it. Santana walked the few feet and looped her arm with Puck’s.

“Let’s go get your girl Lopez.” 


	3. Chapter 3

It was only 10:30 and the party was in full swing at the Puckerman house. Hundreds of bodies crowded the small family home as music boomed through the house, shaking the floors and windows as well as making it impossible to carry on a conversation.

Santana made her way through the sea of hot, sweaty teens as she made her way back to the kitchen for the second time that night. Rachel had yet to show up and the Latina was making full use of the Puckerman bar. She pushed through until she finally reached the fridge. She opened the fridge door and grabbed her second beer of the night. She swiped a bottle opener from one of the teens standing in the kitchen before popping the cap off of the brown bottle. She let the opener fall to the counter top and she took a greedy sip from the bottle.

“You might want to slow down, Lopez.”

“When have you ever been the one to tell me to slow down? Where’s the real Puck?”

“I’m still here babe, but I also know how you get when you’re drunk. No one wants to deal with that.”

“Whatever, I am completely fine. I am just calming some nerves, that’s all.”

Puck chose to let the Latina be. He was protective, and he was her lesbro, but he wasn’t going to force Santana to do anything. No one would try and force the Latina to do anything unless they had a death wish. He really didn’t feel like dealing with Snix tonight.

He pat the girl on the shoulder and made his was out into the living room, surely to hit on some sophomore.

Santana decided to stay in the kitchen, still with her eyes on the front door. With it being half an hour past the time Santana had told Rachel to be here, she didn’t think she would see her anytime soon, if at all. Rachel was known for her strict schedules and she was known to be on time. Santana heard of fashionably late but this was ridiculous.

As it was nearing almost 11, Santana was sure Rachel was not showing up. She didn’t want to admit it, but it hurt a little. She knew this whole friend thing was new, but she was looking forward to spending the night with Rachel.

Santana drained the last bit of her third beer as she glanced once more to the front door. To her surprise, standing there was Rachel Berry. Her hair fell in loose curls that met her shoulders. She wore tight skinny jeans, which hugged her in all the right places, which were accompanied by a pair of black heels. She wore a white shirt with an empire waist. The shirt had a black band which showed off the girl’s petit figure, and the low cut of the shirt showed off her cleavage.

To say she was hot was an understatement.

Santana’s eyes were immediately drawn to her and her breath hitched when she finally got the full view. She saw Rachel was approaching and her mood rose instantly. That was until she saw who the diva was dragging behind her; Finn Hudson.

The boy was freakishly tall, easily towering everyone at the party. His head managed to be obscenely large, which Santana didn’t think was possible with his height. He wore a blue and white stripped polo and a pair of jeans. He looked like a man-child. His look wasn’t complete without his dopey grin, which most would find cute or charming, but it irked Santana.

The Latina was pulled from her thoughts was she was pulled into a tight embrace by the small starlet. She leaned into the embrace, her balance being off from the three beers she had consumed, but she wrapped her arms around the diva to regain her balance.

“Sorry I am late. It was hard to convince Finn to come.”

“You could have come by yourself. I did only invite you.”

Santana had meant what she said but Rachel just seemed to laugh it off. “That is alright, I needed him here to take care of me anyways. I plan to partake in all drinking activities to get, as most would say, completely wasted.”

Santana had to laugh, Rachel was being ridiculous. But the Latina also found it to be extremely cute.

“I told you I would take care of you.”

“I know, but I wouldn’t want to put that burden on you. I wouldn’t want you to sit on the sidelines and sip water while I had fun. It isn’t fair. Besides, by the way you are leaning I assume you have had a decent amount of alcohol by now?”

“Only a little,” Santana smirked.

“Hey Rach, I love this song. Come dance with your fiancé.”

Santana noticed Rachel smile at the boy but it didn’t meet her eyes. That was new. Sure Santana had thought she heard something in Rachel’s voice from previous conversations, but actually seeing it was new. Was Rachel happy?

She didn’t have time to ponder that question further as Rachel took Finn’s hand and followed him into the living room. The music was fast paced, and it didn’t take long for Finn’s hands to find Rachel’s waist. The two were grinding in the middle of the dance floor as they followed the beat, or in Finn’s case, tried to follow.

The Latina could feel her temper rising, along with her body heat. The room suddenly felt too crowded. She was beginning to feel claustrophobic. She went to the fridge, grabbing two more beers, before she made her way out the back door.

She stood outside, breathing in the spring air. The air was more chilled tonight as goose bumps rose on the Latina’s skin. It was refreshing though. The fresh air gave her an opportunity to try and rid the image of Finn grinding against Rachel.

She walked over to the porch steps, stumbling a few times, before she sat on the top step. She opened another beer, thankful that this one seemed to be a twist off, and took a generous sip.

She was almost halfway done her fourth beer when she heard the backdoor open and close. She was hoping it was Rachel, but she knew she was wrong in her assumptions when she saw a flash of blonde. The new arrival sat next to Santana on the step, waiting a moment before she decided to speak.

“Trying to escape, are we?” Brittany questioned.

“I just needed some air.”

Even thought the two once dated, after their break up, they remained friends. Brittany was an important part of her life. She was her first girlfriend. She was the one who finally got Santana to admit who she really was. Santana will always be grateful that she had Brittany in her life. Their breakup was not out of anger, it was out of love. They loved each other, they truly did, but they both knew they wanted more. They would always love each other, that would never change, but they just weren’t meant to be together. They were meant to be best friends.

“Did you need air or were you trying to escape the Finchel grind session?” Brittany smirked.

“Grinding, is that what that was? I couldn’t tell with Finn’s lack of rhythm,” Both girls laughed. “And yeah, maybe a little bit of both.”

“You know, I didn’t actually believe it until now.”

“Believe what?”

“That you liked Rachel.”

A blush set on Santana’s face. Sure her and Brittany were best friends, but she still found these conversations weird. How many people talk to their exes about crushes and potential girlfriends? She knew Brittany was never bothered with these conversations, she was open like that, but it still kind of caught the Latina off guard.

“Yeah, I do. Wow this conversation feels weird.”

“Why is that?”

“Because we dated once. It feels kind of weird to admit that ‘hey I am hot for berry’.”

“You like someone, what is the big deal? Yeah I know we dated, and it was great, but were not together anymore. You have to know that first and foremost, I am your best friend. Nothing will change that.”

“I know, B. You’re my best friend to.”

“So push the weirdness away and just talk to me,” Brittany smiled.

The girl was a lot smarter than people gave her credit for. Sure she may not have been book smart, but Brittany knew people. She especially knew Santana. It was hard to get anything by the girl. She was extremely perceptive.

“What is there to talk about?”

“How long have you liked her?”

“I don’t know, awhile I guess.”

“Since before we got together?”

Santana looked away from Brittany and focused her gaze on the wooden step. She really didn’t know when it all started, when she truly fell for Rachel. If she had to pin point a moment, it would have been their first glee performance in sophomore year.

“Yeah...since sophomore year.”

“When was the exact moment?”

“I would probably say at Sectionals.”

“Tell me about it.”

Santana wasn’t one for storytelling, nor was she completely impressed with Brittany’s rapid fire questions, but she decided to answer. As the effects of the alcohol were wearing off, her thoughts cleared and she could remember the moment as if it was yesterday.

“It wasn’t anything big, but it mattered a lot to me. Do you remember when we were in the green room waiting to perform? The other groups had found out our set list and stole all of our numbers.”

“Yeah I remember, Artie kept wheeling himself into the wall. Mrs. Pilsbury was having a meltdown.”

Both Santana and Brittany chuckled. “Yeah, and remember how everyone was trying to figure out how the other groups found out?” Brittany nodded. “Remember how they thought it was us?”

“Yeah I remember.”

“I remember going off on this whole speech. I think it went like ‘believe what you want, but no one is forcing me to be here. And if you ever tell anyone this, I’ll deny it, but I like being in glee club. It’s the best part of my day, okay?’”

“Yeah I remember that. Pretty good memory there,” Brittany smiled.

“I know, I am surprised,” Santana chuckled. “I just remember the way she looked at me. I barely spoke two words to the girl, and usually they were insults. But the way she looked at me. I felt so vulnerable. I remember sitting down in a seat next to her. I remember her turning and saying ‘I believe you.’” Santana paused, taking a deep breath. “She had every reason to hate me but she told me she believed me. At the time, no one had really told me that they believed me.”

“I did,” Brittany interrupted.

“Yeah I know, but you were my friend. She was my enemy. I just didn’t understand how she could push aside all that hurt to tell me she believed in me. Just to know she cared, it meant a lot to me.”

“That is really sweet, Santana. I hope you’re not going to go all soft on me now,” Brittany smiled.

“Never,” Santana laughed, “Maybe just for Rachel though.”

“Well, in that case,” Brittany reached out for Santana’s beer, “I will take this. We all know you become the weepy drunk and no one wants to see that.”

“Then you can take this,” Santana passed over her other beer, “Because we all know you are the stripper drunk and everyone wants to see that.”

Brittany playfully bumped Santana’s shoulder as the two fell into a fit of laughter. It had been awhile since the two shared a moment like this. With Brittany dating Mike, it was hard to catch the girl alone anymore.

“I missed you best friend.”

“I missed you to Britts.”

“I know I am not a lesbro, maybe I can be an honorary one, but I am going to help you out. I am going to help you get Rachel Berry.”

“I appreciate that Britt, but I don’t see how you can help. Finn was all over her in there.”

“He may have been but she didn’t look like she enjoyed it. She just needs your sweet lady kisses and she will be with you in a heartbeat.”

“Thank you, Brittany. That means a lot to me.”

“You mean a lot to me. You deserve to be happy, S.”

Brittany stood up and brushed off the back of her jeans. She held the two beer bottles in one hand and she held out the other to help Santana stand up. The Latina grabbed the blonde’s hand and stood up. She brushed off the back of her dress and pulled it down a little. She followed Brittany, still holding her hand, back into the party.

The party was in full swing, but the effects of the alcohol were definitely kicking in. People were sloppily grinding on the dance floor, making out in various corners of the room and some were even making a mad dash to the bathroom or outside. If it had not been for Brittany, Santana was sure she would have been crying in the corner by now.

Santana looked to her right and could see a mischievous smile on Brittany’s face. After years of being the girl’s friend, she knew that the blonde had an idea. The Latina swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Who’s up for some old school 7 minutes in heaven?” Brittany shouted over the music.

Cheers could be heard from many of the people in the room. Slowly the room managed to situate themselves in a large circle. Santana sat next to Brittany, who sat next to Mike. Across the circle, Santana locked eyes with Rachel, who was sitting beside Finn. She could tell the girl was extremely nervous but she never dropped the Latina’s gaze.

“Okay, so who’s never played before? Or who is too drunk to remember the rules?”

Some snickers were heard throughout the group and some people raised their hands. Rachel’s hand shot up immediately. Santana knew the girl was nowhere near drunk and she found it impossibly cute that she had never played 7 minutes before.

“Okay for those new comers, or for those who are too drunk to stand, the game goes like this. This wine bottle,” Brittany held up an empty wine bottle before putting it in the middle of the circle, “is put here in the middle of the circle. One person spins the bottle and whoever it lands on is your make out partner. It is like spin the bottle but so much better.”

Everyone laughed and agreed. Brittany decided to start the game off by spinning the bottle. When it finally stopped, it landed on Puck.

“Up for round two with the Puckasaurus?” Puck smirked.

“Just get in the closet,” Brittany smiled back.

After the seven minutes was up, the bottle was spun again. It was spun many times giving various hilarious and hot combinations. Puck spun the bottle and it landed on Sam. Sam spun the bottle and it landed on Quinn. Quinn spun the bottle and it landed on Brittany. Brittany spun the bottle and it landed on Mike, which lasted way longer than 7 minutes. Mike spun the bottle and it landed on Tina, and awkward moment for all. Tina spun the bottle and it landed in Santana.

“I’m out, no way.”

“Oh come on Tina, we all know you want to be all up on this. I don’t blame you, I am hot,” Santana noticed Tina blush, and out of the corner of her eye, she could see Rachel blushing to.

“Alright, let’s get this over with.”

“Aww don’t sound all excited babe,” Santana winked.

The 7 minutes was over rather quickly, and Tina was a little more excited than she let on. However, the Latina didn’t mind. They both returned back to the circle and sat down in their original spots. The tanned girl reached out for the bottle. She gave it a spin and watched it circle the group. Her eyes darted up and they found Rachel’s. They held their stare, oblivious to the other people in the room. It was not until they heard the wolf whistles and cat calls that they realized the bottle had stopped.

“Holy crap, Lopez and Berry? This is so going in the spank bank.”

The Latina glared at Puck but she could see his face soften. She just knew he was keeping up appearances. She knew he was secretly fist pumping the air inside and squealing. Her gaze shifted from Puck back to Rachel. She could see the girl was now extremely nervous. Santana also caught the angry look that was plastered on Finn’s face.

“Hell no, this isn’t happening!” Finn shouted.

“Dude, calm down. It’s just a game,” Puck responded.

“Yeah, well, you can count Rachel out of this one.”

“What the hell is your problem Finnocence?”

“No problem, you’re just not going to kiss my fiancé.”

Santana could feel the tips of her ears burning. She was getting mad. Who was he to tell Rachel what she could and couldn’t do? Every time Santana looked at the relationship between Finn and Rachel, it was like they were shipped back to the 50’s. It was really sad.

“Come on Finn, I had to kiss Tina. She’s my ex,” Mike interrupted.

“I had to kiss a dude for god’s sake,” Puck added.

“Do I not get a say in any of this?”

Everyone in the room turned to face Rachel. She had been quiet for the entire game. Here were a group of people deciding what should happen without actually asking Rachel what she wanted. Santana held her breath in anticipation and she waited for Rachel to make her decision.

“It’s my decision and I want to go for it.”

“You can’t be serious, Rachel?” Finn questioned, clearly annoyed.

“I am very serious. It is just a game Finn, what harm is there in me kissing Santana?”

“She’s going to turn you into one of them.”

“One of who?”

“You know what I am talking about Rach.”

Santana knew exactly what the boy was talking about. Living in Lima, it was not a surprise to run into people who were homophobic. Santana used to be slightly homophobic herself, but that was because she was hiding. She never really got it much in school, most people were quite accepting, except for Finn. You would assume with someone who has a gay stepbrother and is dating a girl with two gay dads, that he would be very excepting. Unfortunately he wasn’t. It annoyed Santana but she also felt sad for Rachel.

“I am not having this discussion, Finn. Do you even know who I am? I am Rachel Berry; I have two gay dads if you care to remember. Your stepbrother is also gay and in a happy and loving relationship. Are you really going to play the homophobic card and think that I am going to agree with you?”

“Rachel, that’s not-”

“I think you should go home.”

“Are you coming with me?”

“No I am not going with you Finn. I am going to stay the night at Santana’s.”

Finn was about to open his mouth but he decided against it. It was probably the smartest thing he has ever done. He stood up and made his way to the door and left, slamming it on his way out. The room was completely silent, even the music has stopped so that everyone could hear the argument.

“I guess that is the end of 7 minutes,” Brittany finally said to fill the silence.

“No, let’s keep it going. Come one Santana. Rules are rules,” Rachel added.

“As you wish.”

Santana stood up pulling down her dress as it had ridden up from sitting so long. She walked across the circle and extended her hand for Rachel to grab.

“Right this way, Ms. Berry.”

Rachel beamed as she grabbed Santana’s hand and pulled herself up. The two walked hand in hand to the closet as they heard multiple cat calls and whistles. Santana was sure she even heard someone high five.

Santana entered the closet first and pulled Rachel inside. She pushed the door closed and locked it to give them some privacy. She could feel the vibrations of the music starting up again but the closet offered a sound barrier against it. It was quiet enough that the Latina could hear the shaky breath coming from Rachel. It had seemed that Rachel used off of her confidence to get back at Finn. The petit brunette was absolutely terrified now.

“We don’t have to do this you know,” Santana offered.

“No we have to it’s part of the game.”

“I can always lie Rachel. It isn’t that difficult.”

“What if I want to kiss you?”

Santana froze. Over the past few days she had made assumptions. She had analyzed conversations and touches trying to convince herself that Rachel felt the same way. Whenever she thought back on it, she always felt that she was just lying to herself. There was no way Rachel could feel the same way. But now here she stands in a closet with Rachel, fully taking in the irony, and Rachel is saying she wanted to kiss her.

“I’m sorry, did you say you want to kiss me?”

“If it’s alright? I know we are just becoming friends and it may be weird to ask bu-”

Rachel didn’t have time to finish her sentence before she felt the pressure of Santana’s lips against hers. The kiss was firm on Santana’s part, but the Latina didn’t try and deepen it. She was waiting for Rachel to respond.

The tanned girl pulled back as she needed air. She looked into the starlet’s eyes in the dim light of the closet. She could see uncertainty but she could also see want, Maybe Rachel did want her?

Thought’s scattered away in Santana’s mind as she felt Rachel’s hand grip the back of her neck. Every movement seemed to be in slow motion. It wasn’t long before she felt Rachel pull her down slightly to meet her lips. The kiss was slow, it was new. It was them exploring the new feeling of their soft lips brushing against each other. Rachel pulled away while sucking at the Latina’s bottom lip. Santana felt her eye lids flutter open before they landed back on Rachel’s.

“That was...wow,” Santana managed to breathe out.

“Yeah, it was,” Rachel bit her lip nervously.

“Are my sweet lady kisses as good as they were in your imagination?” The Latina smirked.

“I don’t know, I might need another just to make sure,” Rachel smiled back.

“As you wish.”

Santana leant down and lightly brushed her lips against Rachel’s. She could feel the petit brunette smile against her lips. The Latina flicked her tongue out to brush the tip of Rachel’s before pulling back. Soon she felt Rachel swipe her tongue against her bottom lip waiting to be granted access. Santana opened her mouth greedily and Rachel slipped her tongue past full lips into Santana’s mouth. The kiss heated up quickly and it soon became a battle of tongues and teeth. The suddenly pulled apart when there was a knock at the door.

“It’s been like 10 minutes, S. The game is over.”

Santana smiled and Rachel blushed. Their eyes met and they shared a nervous smile.

“I guess we should get back out there.”

“Yeah I guess we should,” Rachel responded through a smile.

Santana unlocked the door and offered for Rachel to exit first. They entered into the living room and it was almost as if the game had never happened. Bodies were grinding on the floor, some people were passed out. A majority of the members had left the party but it was stilled quite crowded in the house.

“Do you wanna dance?” Santana husked in Rachel’s ear.

“What?” She giggled as the Latina’s breath tickled the shell of her ear.

“Come dance with me.”

Santana pulled Rachel by her hand through the sea of teens. They made it into the middle of the make shift dance floor before Santana pulled Rachel close to her. Rachel’s back was flush with Santana’s front as they swayed with the beat of the music. Rachel’s right arm looped around Santana’s neck behind her. The Latina buried her face in the starlet’s neck and pushed her front more into Rachel’s backside. Santana could hear the ragged breaths coming from Rachel as her lips lightly brushed the brunette’s neck. Their bodies quickly became heated and a light sheen of sweat coated their skin. They were lost within themselves before they heard the music stop and Puck yelling out.

“The cops are on their way, the party is over!”

Everyone made a mad dash for the doors and windows trying to get out. Most people stumbled and fell due to the amount of alcohol they had consumed over the duration of the night. Santana didn’t feel it was safe enough for her to drive. If she had been alone, then maybe. But not when she had Rachel with her.

She pulled Rachel out with her out to Puck’s backyard. She made it to the back fence and helped Rachel over until they both stood in the back alley that ran behind his house.

“What are we doing back here? Why don’t we just take your car?”

“Because I have had a few beers and I don’t feel safe driving right now. Besides, my house is only ten minutes away from here. Maybe the walk will sober us up,” Santana smiled.

“Well sober you up. I didn’t have anything to drink.”

Santana was surprised at that comment. She was sure that maybe the kiss between them could be blamed on alcohol, the dancing as well, but that all seemed to be untrue. Rachel had actually wanted to kiss her and she didn’t know why.

As they were walking, Rachel could tell Santana had something on her mind.

“What are you thinking about?”

“It’s nothing.”

Rachel looked at her before trying again, “I know you are thinking about something, you may as well tell me what it is.”

Santana thought about lying but she decided to be forward, “Why did you kiss me back there?”

“That is the idea of 7 minutes in heaven as I was told,” Rachel smirked.

“Yeah, but I told you that you didn’t have to kiss me. But you said you wanted to. Why?”

“Maybe I decided to explore my options.”

Santana gave the starlet a confused look, “What do you mean ‘explore your options?’”

“Maybe I have been holding on to Finn so long that I didn’t even think to look at what was around me. I mean, I am a high school senior and I am engaged. Maybe I just don’t feel like settling.”

Santana pondered her comment for a moment. Did Rachel consider her an option, or did Santana just happen to be the first person there? She took a moment to gather her thoughts before she responded back.

“So am I an option?”

“If you kiss me like you did tonight you could be,” Rachel smiled.

Santana found her confidence so sexy. It was not often that the Latina saw this Rachel. This Rachel was clearly saved for when they were no longer in the halls of McKinley High. Even though she enjoyed the confidence, she couldn’t ignore the giant obstacle that stood in her way.

“What about Finn?”

“Maybe I just need someone to show me there is more to my life than Finn Hudson. Maybe I just need someone to woo me.”

It was almost as if Rachel was inside Santana’s mind. Had she known about the Latina’s intentions all along? Was she really that obvious with her feelings? More importantly, when was the quarterback’s straight fiancé not so straight?

The multitude of questions died in her head as she reached the driveway of her house. Again, her parents seemed to be absent. Her mother was out of town at a health conference and her father was working the night shift at the ER. He was most likely not due back until early afternoon the next day.

Santana reached the front door with Rachel in tow. She pulled out her keys and missed a few times, but she had managed to open the door. She pulled Rachel inside and locked the door behind them.

“Are you thirsty or anything?” Santana asked.

“No I am just really tired. Do you mind if we go to sleep?”

Santana could feel her own fatigue hitting her. The sudden fatigue was most likely aided by alcohol. She pointed up the stairs and allowed Rachel to lead the way. When they got to the top, Santana stepped in front of the girl to lead them to her bedroom. The room was large. It had a flatscreen mounted on the wall to their right, opposite Santana’s bed. There was an ensuite bathroom directly in front of them and a huge walk in closet that was left to the TV.

“Wow,” Was all Rachel could say.

“Yeah, the perks of having both of your parents being doctors.”

Once they were both through the door, Santana pulled it closed with a light thud. She walked forward a few steps before her eyes landed on her king size bed.

“I can sleep on the couch if you want?”

“Don’t be silly Santana, you bed in pretty big as it is. Besides, it would be nice to have some company.”

Santana smiled and made her way to the walk in closet. She pulled out a pair of cotton shorts and a white tank top for herself. She managed to find an old pair of Cheerios shorts and a Cheerios t-short for Rachel to wear. She exited the closet and handed the clothes to Rachel.

“You can use my bathroom. I’ll take the one down the hall. There is an extra toothbrush in the top right drawer.”

“Thank you Santana.”

Santana smiled at the diva before exiting the room and making her way down the hall. She went to the bathroom and changed. She washed her face, getting all the grime from the party off her skin, before she brushed her teeth. She exited the bathroom and made her way down the hall and back into her bedroom. When she entered, she noticed Rachel was not done yet. She made her way to the bed and pulled off the decorative pillows before pulling the covers back. She slipped into the right side of the bed before she pulled the cover over herself. Only moments later, Rachel exited the bathroom. Santana couldn’t help the flutter in her stomach at the sight of Rachel wearing her clothes.

“Sorry I took so long, I have to complete my nightly routine.”

Santana chuckled, “It’s no problem Rachel. Hey sorry, is there a certain side of the bed you sleep on or?”

Santana was about to make a move to get up when Rachel held up her hand halting the girl’s movements.

“It’s fine Santana, I don’t have a side. This side is fine.”

Rachel pulled back the cover and slid into the left side of the bed. She pulled the covers over herself and laid on her back. Santana was tensed but she eventually relaxed and laid on her back as well. They laid there in silence before Rachel decided to speak.

“I had a lot of fun tonight. Thank you for asking me to come.”

“No problem Rachel, that’s what friends are for right?”

“Friends, right,” Santana noticed the same tone she had heard days before. It was almost as if Santana had said something wrong.

“Goodnight Santana.”

“Goodnight Rachel.”

The two turned away from each other and faced opposing walls. It was definitely going to be a long night.


	4. I Want You

The bright morning light that forced its way through Santana’s curtains woke her from a state of blissful sleep. She groaned as the bright light forced the throbbing in her head to begin. It was nowhere near as bad as it could have been, but it was enough.

As she lay in her stomach, she stretched her arms out and buried her face into her pillow, willing herself to go back to sleep. Seeing as she was not going back to sleep anytime soon, she took an inhale of frustration. It was then that a swell of aroma surrounded her that was so foreign but so welcomed. It was the smell of lavender. She was so used to the smell of cinnamon or the smell of other spices, that this knew smell seemed refreshing. Then she remembered who came home with her last night.

Rachel Berry.

She forced her head up, immediately feeling dizzy as she did, but she was confused to see the bed abandoned next to her. She was sure she brought Rachel home, didn’t she? She was sure she was near sober by the end of the night. Was that all in her imagination?

Santana looked over to her night stand at her alarm clock. She noticed it was 9 am, a time she never usually sees on the weekends, but she knows she is not going to be going to sleep any time soon.

She gets up from the bed and slowly walks over to her ensuite bathroom. She opens the cabinet and grabs the bottle of ibuprofen. She shakes two pills out into her hand and downs them with a sip of water, now realizing how dry her mouth was. She washes her face and brushes her teeth before she feels the grumble in her stomach. Even though she didn’t feel like cooking, she needed to eat. She would normally be rolling out of bed at noon or 1 pm when all the good restaurants were open. But at this time in the day, they would be serving crappy breakfast sandwiches. She decided to trudge on and make her own.

She walked out of her room and made it down the stairs into the main foyer. She could hear the clatter of utensils coming from in the kitchen. As she got closer, the smell of food filled the air and forced another growl out of Santana’s stomach. She was sure her mom was still at her conference, and her dad couldn’t cook to save his life, so she was completely confused as to who could possibly be in her kitchen. Her wonders died when she saw who was standing at the counter.

Rachel Berry.

She was in spandex running shorts and a form fitting tank top, clearly both borrowed from the Latina. Her hair was up in a pony tail and a black fabric headband kept her bangs out of her face. A light sheen of sweat coated her skin, and she was dancing around the kitchen listening to music from, what appeared to be, Santana’s IPod. Heat pooled between Santana’s legs as she looked to the girl before her. Not only was she wearing her clothes, but she looked extremely sexy covered in the light layer of sweat. It also helped that she was making food. Without even knowing it, Rachel Berry was certainly making her way into the Latina’s heart.

“Oh my god you scared me.”

Santana was pulled out of her thoughts as Rachel spoke. She had taken one of the headphones out of her ear and her face was red with embarrassment. She looked extremely adorable.

“Yeah sorry, I was hungry. I...uh...I didn’t know you were here.”

“Oh I didn’t realize you were that intoxicated last night. You took me home after the party. I can go if you...”

“No it’s fine. I just thought I dreamt it or something.”

It was Santana’s turn to turn red. She didn’t mean to release that tidbit of information, but it seemed that when it comes to Rachel, her verbal filter seems to vanish.

“Nope not a dream, I am really here.”

“So, where did you go then? I kind of thought I would wake up and you would be there.”

“Oh well, I have a strict exercise schedule. I usually wake up at 6 am and go on my elliptical for an hour, but seeing as you don’t possess one, I just went for a run. I hope you don’t mind, I had to borrow some running stuff...and your IPod.”

“It’s no problem, really. And maybe we can go for a run together sometime. Just you know, not at 6 am,” Santana smirked.

“Noted,” Rachel smiled. “Well if it is any consolation, I made breakfast. I assumed if you were even the slightest bit hung over it would be appreciated.”

Santana looked to the island counter at the stack of fluffy pancakes that sat there. There was syrup, icing sugar, whipped cream, blueberries, strawberries, banana slices and chocolate chips. The raven haired girl’s mouth dropped at the wide arrangement. Sure people had made breakfast for her, in Brittany and Puck’s cases it usually consisted of toast or cereal, but it was never this much. Santana quickly closed her gaping mouth to regain some of her composure back. But who was she kidding, this was amazing.

“Wow this looks amazing Rachel.”

“Well I would wait before you say that. I used a vegan recipe. To me they taste just fine, but Finn usually complains about them.”

Santana’s good mood was crushed slightly at the mention of Finn. In the light of a new day, and after the effects of alcohol wear off, the kiss and the dance didn’t mean anything. They were just friends. Rachel was engaged.

“Right...Finn. I am sure they will taste great.”

Santana forced a smile as she walked over to the island and sat at one of the stools. She stacked two pancakes on her plate and sprinkled the icing sugar before finishing it off with chocolate chips and syrup. Normally she would be more health conscious, especially since she was on the Cheerios, but she would just run it off later.

“These are amazing Rach,” Santana said through a mouth full of food.

Rachel smiled, “I am glad you like them,” She chuckled.

“Aren’t you going to have any?” Santana questioned.

“No I’m fine. I’m not really hungry,” Rachel forced a smile.

Santana tried to look into Rachel’s eyes but could see the girl was trying to avoid eye contact. She had an expression on her face which showed she had a lot on her mind but she just didn’t want to say anything. Santana wondered if she was holding back for her own benefit or if she was afraid of something else.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Whose says I’m thinking about anything?”

“You’re not eating anything.”

“Can’t a girl not be hungry? Here, “she grabbed and strawberry and put it in her mouth, “I ate something.”

“You won’t even look at me.”

Rachel took her eyes that were staring at the marble counter top, and focused on the Latina’s. Santana could see so much question in her eyes; so much guilt. There were various emotions that flashed through her eyes but those were the strongest.

“Are we going to talk about last night?” Rachel questioned.

It was Santana’s turn to look away. She didn’t know if she was ready for this conversation. After their kiss, she felt like they entered into their own little bubble. Finn was forgotten about. It was just them. Now with the start of the new day, she was certain that Rachel would feel guilty and run back into his arms. Santana didn’t know if she could deal with that. She had a taste of what she could have with Rachel Berry and she didn’t want to let it go.

“Why do we need to talk about it?”

“We can’t ignore the fact that we kissed.”

“It was a game Rachel, I get it. We don’t have to mention it.”

“What if I don’t want to forget it?”

Santana’s eyes quickly found Rachel’s once more. She didn’t know if Rachel had actually said that or if it was just a figment of her imagination. Rachel didn’t want to forget the kiss?

“Rachel, what are you talking about? We’re just friends, right?” The question tasted bitter on her tongue.

“Are you really going to launch into that friends crap again? We make out in a closet, we grind on the dance floor and I come here to sleep in your bed. I don’t want to just be friends Santana,” her tone was sharp as she spoke. “I can’t be just friends with you.”

Santana didn’t know what to do. Every muscle in her body was screaming at her to run away, far away, because she’s too afraid to deal with the truth of the situation. Rachel wanted her back. And as much as Rachel would want her back, in the end she would run back to Finn. There would always be Finn. Her mind and her body were telling her to get up and go because in the end she would wind up broken hearted. But her heart, even with the potential of being broken, forced her to stay in the kitchen with Rachel. She wanted to woo Rachel that was the main objective. She just never thought Rachel would want her back.

“What do you want from me Rachel?”

“I want you to fight for me!”

The Latina was surprised how the light cheery conversation before breakfast suddenly turned into a scene from The Notebook. Rachel was asking her to sacrifice a lot for her happiness. But was she willing to sacrifice Finn?

“I shouldn’t have to fight Rachel! You should be able to make a damn decision.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You want to be more than friends? What are you planning on doing with Finn? He is your fiancé if you remember.”

Rachel flinched at Santana’s tone but also at the mention of Finn. Santana felt guilty for a moment, but only a small moment. It wasn’t fair of Rachel to ask Santana to put her heart out on the line when her own was invested in someone else.

“Last night made me realize a lot of things,” she paused. “And one of those things is I want you. I want you and that scares me.”

“Why does that scare you?” Santana questioned. Clearly put off by the new information.

“It scares me because you are so emotionally unavailable. I am scared that if I let you in, if I decide to be with you, that when graduation rolls around you’ll be gone.”

“So how does Finn tie into this?”

“Finn is safe; he is comfortable. I know that is not what you want to be in a relationship but it’s the truth. Love is supposed to be this roller coaster of emotions that throws you around but makes you feel on top of the world. I never got that with Finn and I’ve learned to accept it,” Rachel paused. It was almost as if she was afraid to continue. “Finn is the only person I liked who truly liked me back. He accepted me and all my flaws and was willing to put a ring on my finger.”

“Rachel he is not the only one that wanted you back. Puck and Jesse wanted you to.”

“No they didn’t. Puck always wanted Quinn and Jesses chose fame and the spotlight over me. I was just the consolation prize for everyone.”

Santana could hear the shakiness of Rachel’s voice. She could tell that the girl was trying to hold back tears. Santana wanted so bad to stand up and wrap her arms around the girl and tell her that everyone wants her, she wanted her. Rachel Berry was no consolation prize. But she stayed rooted to her seat, just watching the emotions unfold.

“I was settling for Finn because he was the only one that made me feel wanted; made me feel special,” a tear streamed down her cheek. “Then you came along and surprised me. You sang that duet with me. You agreed to be my friend, which I still have to few of. You kissed me and you danced with me. You took care of me last night,” she paused. “You made me feel wanted. No one has made me feel like that since Finn.”

“Okay I want you, that’s not a secret. But what do you want me to do? I just don’t know what you want from me.”

“You made me realize that I don’t want to settle. I don’t want to get married in my senior year. I love Finn, I do, but he doesn’t make me feel special. Not like you do.”

“So why don’t you leave him and be with me? It would be so easy Rach.”

“It’s not that easy. I am not going to let go of him unless I know we are a sure thing.”

“Why? I want to be with you Rachel. Why can’t you believe that?”

“I can’t believe that because, sure right now, you want me. But I can’t take chances like that. Even if I never feel completely happy, I know that Finn will always be there. He is my safety net. As long as I have him, I know somebody in this world wants me.”

Tears were threatening to falls from the Latina’s eyes as she slowly watched Rachel fall apart. She couldn’t believe that Rachel thought that, that only Finn could want her like that. She wanted Rachel. And even though she has never been good with relationships, Rachel made her want to try. Santana finally managed to lift herself from her seat and walk over to Rachel. She cautiously wrapped her arms around the petit brunette’s waist before she felt arms snake around her neck. She felt Rachel bury her face into her shoulder and let out a sob. Santana was never one to be able to deal with tears, but Rachel looked so hurt and so confused. She just let her hands rub soft circles over her back as Rachel let all of her tears fall.

They stood there for what felt like an eternity. They stood in their tight embrace as tears were shed and sobs were heard, from Rachel’s part that is. Santana just stood there and let Rachel cry on her shoulder. She knew the brunette needed it.

“How can I prove to you that I want this, want us? Not just right now, but for the long run.”

“Show me.”

Santana pulled back from the embrace to look at Rachel. The starlet removed her hands from Santana’s neck so she could wipe away the last remnants of tears.

“What do you mean show you?”

“That was your plan all along, wasn’t it? We have 42 days. You have 42 days to convince me that you are serious about this; about us.”

“Wait, you knew about the plan?”

Santana didn’t remember slipping that out. Maybe she had been more drunk than she thought? Or maybe she was just really obvious with her intentions? Either way, she really had to work on not wearing her heart on her sleeve.

“Well, Noah can be quite the talkative drunk. He told me you had a plan to get in my pants or something, and then he started talking about a threesome,” Rachel chuckled and Santana blushed. She was going to kill Puck the next time she saw him. “I stopped listening after he said you had a plan to woo me,” Rachel smiled.

“Remind me to kill puck later, will you?”

They both laughed, letting all the tension between them dissipate. There had been a lot of things said this morning, a lot of emotion and tears shared, but now they were getting back to routine. But Santana still had a question about Finn.

“So what’s going to happen with Finn? I know you said you don’t want to leave him yet, but it would kind of suck to have your girlfriend going out with another girl.”

“I will not cheat on him, he may be an ass sometimes but no one deserves to be cheated on. I did it once with Noah and I won’t do it again.”

“So I am guessing there will be no repeats of last night?”

Rachel chuckled, “No there won’t be. You will just have to be more creative than locking me in a closet to have your way with me.  I need to be wooed not mauled.”

Santana laughed at how ridiculous Rachel was. She also couldn’t help but find it funny she called Finn an ass. She was planning on using her body and a lot of physical connection to get Rachel to be with her, but she has never back down from a challenge.

“Alright, deal. I will not feel you up or make out with you, no matter how much I want to,” Rachel blushed. “Prepared to be wooed Rachel Berry.”

“I am excited to see what you come up with.”

They both smiled at each other before both sitting at the island. They exchanged small talk as they slowly ate the entire stack of pancakes. It was nice to sit like this. It was nice to have a normal conversation with a good friend. If in the end this is all Santana ever got, she would be happy. As long as she got some part of Rachel berry in her life.

They finished their breakfast and both cleared off the island and the counters. Rachel washed the dishes and Santana dried them and put them away. The whole time they were almost in complete silence but it was comfortable silence.

When they were finally done, Rachel turned her attention back to the Latina.

“Well, I guess I should get going.”

“You don’t have to. You can stay if you want?”

“I appreciate the offer, but I promised my dads I would be home by 3. Sunday nights are family dinner nights.”

“Oh, okay. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Count on it. I am interested to know how you plan on wooing me. Tomorrow’s going to be a lot of fun,” Rachel beamed as she started walking out the door.

It was only now that Santana realized she had to make a plan of how she was going to get Rachel. She assumed that after the kiss they would just kind of be together. But this was Rachel Berry. The girl deserved to be chased after. Santana just had to find the right way to do it without going completely soft.

Santana and Rachel waited outside on her front steps for Rachel’s dad to come pick her up. Santana had offered to drive her home but Rachel didn’t feel like walking back to Puck’s and she had already called her dads earlier.

When the brunette had finally left, she put on sweats and started making her way back down the alley towards Puck’s. She decided to go this way because even though her car was at the front of the house, Puck’s mom didn’t like her hanging around. She didn’t know if the woman was home and she didn’t want to chance it. She hopped the back fence and tumbled into the Puckerman backyard. She was clearly not so graceful this morning. She slowly crept around the house until she stood under Puck’s window. She started throwing rocks at the window pane before Puck finally opened it.

“What the hell Lopez? My head is killing me right now. Why are you throwing rocks at my window?”

“Because you have my keys and I didn’t know if your mom was home.”

“She’s not. She is at some brunch thing with her friends. She should be gone for at least an hour.”

“Then I am coming in.”

Puck groaned but decided against shooing Santana away, “The door is open.”

Santana made her way around the house and through the front door. The house was spotless, but it always was after his parties. He may seem completely irresponsible most of the time but his mom would kill him if the house was a mess.

She made her way into the kitchen where Puck was making coffee and popping a couple ibuprofen tablets.

“Other than your keys, is there any other reason why you woke me up this morning?”

“Okay it is almost two in the afternoon.”

“Your point?”

“I thought you would like to know of some development in the Rachel Berry wooing plan.”

“Please tell me you slept with her. Was it good?”

Santana punched Puck in the arm after he wriggled his eyebrows. He was a good friend but sometimes he was really vulgar even for her. However she did wonder how Rachel was in bed.

She quickly shook those thoughts before scolding Puck.

“Can you not be you for like 10 minutes?”

“For you I will try.”

“My hero,” Both chuckled as beaming smiles were plastered on their faces.

“So are you actually going to tell me today or are you just going to tease me?” Puck winked.

“She likes me back and she wants to be with me.”

“But...”

“She doesn’t want to break up with Finn yet. She wants to know I am serious.”

“That’s a tough break. So how are you going to convince her?”

“I have no idea.”

 When it came to any sort of romantic gesture, Santana was at a loss. She never had to be romantic with Puck or Brittany. Puck was, well Puck, and Brittany and her just had a natural connection. She didn’t need big romantic gestures or anything to be with her. The idea of having to be romantic scared her but she was also kind of excited.

“Well since I did try and date Berry in sophomore year, I know there is one thing you can do to make Rachel make out with you.”

“And what would that be oh wise one?”

“If you want to get into Rachel Berry’s heart, you have to sing to her dude. It works every time.”

“Doesn’t that seem predictable though? I want it to kind of feel special.”

“Look the song is just part of it. The song has to tell her how you feel about her without pissing off Finn. There is other stuff you will have to do to get with her, but singing is a start.”

“You really think that will work?”

“She wanted me to be a leading man so I sang Sweet Caroline. She made out with me that night.”

“Okay I am going to need you to stop telling me that because I just might vomit.”

They both laughed before Santana really took in his words. Of course a song is what she needed to sing, but she needed the perfect song. She needed a song to say she would love her and be there for her but will give her distance to figure out her heart. As she was thinking about it, she thought of the perfect song. She would just need some help.

“Hey Puck, do you think you could help me with the singing to Rachel?”

“Yeah sure, what do you need me for?”

“I need you to play the guitar for me and do backup harmonies.”

“No problem Lopez.”

The two got to work and started practicing the song. Puck learned the tabs as Santana familiarized herself with the lyrics. The two worked out the harmonies and the arrangement and after a few hours they had it down packed.

Santana could hear a car pulling up out front, and knowing it was Puck’s mom, made a dash for the back door. She waited until she heard Ms. Puckerman go inside the house before she made her way to her car. She hurried home to have dinner with her dad and was waiting with anticipation for tomorrow. Rachel Berry, prepared to be wooed.


	5. Make You Feel My Love

Santana looked at her alarm clock for the fifth time in the last ten minutes. She had tried her best to fall back asleep but she just kept tossing and turning. It was early Monday morning, 5:30am to be exact. It was rare that Santana was ever up at this time. Actually she was never up at this time but nothing she did seemed to help in her attempts to fall back asleep. If she was honest with herself, she hadn’t really been asleep all night. She had the perfect song picked out, the song in which she and Puck spent a few hours perfecting. She spent most of the night going over the lyrics; their meaning. She went over the whole performance in her head. She spent the night thinking about how Rachel will look throughout the performance; surprised? Excited? Happy? Santana did know one thing; above all else, she will look beautiful. That would never change.

The ravened haired girl pushed off the heavy duvet and made her way to her ensuite bathroom. She hopped in the shower before completing her morning routine and fixing her hair. She was surprised to see it was only six o’clock when she got out of the bathroom. School started at 8:10 and it usually took five minutes at most to drive there. That was really one of the only benefits of living in a small town. She could roll out of bed at 7:30 and still make it to school on time.

She decided that to kill some time, she would make herself some breakfast. She would normally grab a coffee and a muffin from the Lima Bean, but she thought she would treat herself to a proper breakfast. Of course it wouldn’t be as good a Rachel’s but it would have to do. Santana reminded herself to have another sleepover with Rachel so that the starlet could make her breakfast in the morning. She smiled to herself at the thought.

Santana made her way down the stairs and towards the kitchen, clearly expecting to be alone. She was surprised to see her mother sitting at the island nursing her morning coffee and reading the paper. Santana gave a small cough to warn her mother of her presence.

“Morning _mija_ , why are you up so early? Usually you are never out of bed before the sun comes up,” Maria Lopez smirked.

“Yeah I know. I just couldn’t sleep.”

Santana padded across the kitchen towards the coffee pot. She grabbed her favourite mug before pouring herself a cup. She took a generous sip, feeling the burn as it slid down her throat, but it instantly woke her up.

“Is there any reason why you couldn’t sleep? Is there something on your mind?”

The Latina made eye contact with her mother before taking another sip. She was trying to stall and avoid this conversation with her mother. Sure her parents were completely supportive of her when she came out, but she knew her mother was still uncomfortable about some things. Crushes and girlfriends were some things. She didn’t know if she was ready to share Rachel with her mother yet. She lowered the mug before answering.

“Nothing really.”

“Don’t give me that, Santana. I am you mother you know. We all have built in mother’s intuition. You can’t get anything past me. So, you have a few choices. You can tell me now or I can find out for myself,” The older Latina lowered her newspaper and took another sip from her mug before placing in back down on the island.

“Really mom it is nothing.”

“Is it a girl?”

Santana was a little shocked. Whenever the discussion of girls came up at the dinner table or while watching TV, her mother would change the subject or leave the room. Santana knew this was not something she was going to accept overnight. She herself had a few years to accept herself, so she was a little surprised to see her mother being so forward about it.

“It could be a possibility.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Santana could sense the uneasiness in her mother’s voice. “I think the real question is do you want to talk about it?”

Her mother met her gaze before looking away. She watched her mother’s finger swirl around the ceramic rim of her mug. She could tell her mom was thinking. She could tell her mom was having an internal debate on whether or not she should run away now or stay and talk about this with her.

Santana was surprised when her mother did not decide to flee or change the subject. Instead, she met her gaze once more and was firm with her response.

“I know in the past I may not have been as supportive as I should have been. I want to change that, Santana.”

“Mom, I know this was a hard thing for you. It was hard for me to. I know you needed time.”

“Well I think I have taken far too much time. I want you to be able to share these things with me. I want to know about crushes, I want to know about girlfriends; maybe bring them over for dinner. I want to be as supportive as I can Santana. I just want you to be happy.”

Both women’s eyes glassed over with tears. They never fell, but those words meant a lot to both of them. For her mother, it meant being closer with her daughter again. And for Santana, it meant her mother was trying. That’s all she ever wanted.

“As long as you are trying, mom. That is all I’ve ever wanted.”

Both let out a watery chuckle to relieve the tension in the room. Lopez’s were never ones for feelings, so the laugh was very much needed. That was a lot of feelings for one morning.

Maria patted the stool next to her for Santana. The ravened haired girl topped off her coffee and sat down next to her mother. It had been awhile since she had a decent conversation with her mother. This was the first time in about a week that she has actually seen her for more than a minute. She was really happy to have this small moment with her.

“So, who is the lucky girl that has my Santana’s heart?” Maria smiled. It was small, but Santana could tell it was sincere.

“That lucky girl would be Rachel Berry.”

“Rachel Berry...where have I heard that name before?”

“She goes to my school. She’s in the Glee club.”

“Ahh yes I remember. She is a very pretty girl, Santana. A very lovely voice as well.”

“Yeah she is really pretty and she really does have an amazing voice.”

“You may be Latina but even I can see you blushing.”

Santana turned towards her mother and was met with a smile. The two broke into a laugh, more because of embarrassment on Santana’s end, but it was still nice. It was care free. Santana had longed for this moment with her mom for a long time. She was glad she was finally getting it.

“So why exactly are you up so early?” Maria questioned.

“I am up because I am going to sing to her today and I am a little nervous.”

“You nervous, when does that ever happen?”

“A lot more than you think,” Santana chuckled.

“Well if she likes you than there shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

“Well there is a small problem.”

“Is this one of those straight girl crushes I’ve heard about? If so I think that singing to her is a lost cause _mija_.”

“No that’s not it. Well first I thought that was the problem, but there is a bigger problem.”

“What is this bigger problem?”

Her mother may be more accepting about her sexuality, but chasing after an engaged woman was a different concept. She didn’t know if her mother would take this kind of thing lightly. Her dad was more supportive of the idea; of course he just wanted what was best for her. But her mom was more realistic in the grander scheme of things. This was something she was not likely to approve of.

“The bigger problem is...well...she’s engaged.”

Santana looked back to her mother waiting for a response. She expected to be berated for not only going after a seemingly straight Rachel Berry, but also a very taken and engaged Rachel Berry. Santana waited with anticipation but the criticism never came. She could tell the idea was turning over in her mother’s head. She started to feel like the silence was more threatening than her mother’s actual response.

“You know my views about relationships, _mija_. If someone is happy and taken, you leave them well enough alone.”

“But what if that person isn’t happy? What if you know you can make that person happier.”

Maria had never seen this side of her daughter. She was so love struck by Rachel Berry it was ridiculous. Maria had known about her daughters escapades with Puck, she even knew of her relationship with Brittany, but this was so much more. Santana may have loved both Puck and Brittany but she was not in love with them. She was in love with Rachel.

“18 is an awfully young age to be considering marriage.”

“I know. She just feels like he is the only one who will ever truly love her. She is settling.”

“You should never settle with your heart. That’s not fair to anyone.”

“That’s what I told her. I want to prove to her that there is more to life than Finn Hudson.”

“Do you think that you are that person?”

“I’d like to be.”

“Then let me ask one question, do you love her?”

Santana paused for a moment. She had said it in her mind a million times, maybe even to Puck casually, but those words really weighed on her now. It was one thing to say it to yourself; to a close friend. It was another to admit it to your mother. The Latina had to think about it for a moment. Did she love Rachel Berry?

The question was immediately erased from her thoughts. Why was she even thinking about questioning something she was so sure about? She turned back to her mother, her posture straighter, as she responded.

“More than anything.”

Her mom gave her a beaming smile which she gladly returned. This was not only a breakthrough for their relationship, but it was a breakthrough for Rachel and Santana’s relationship. For the first time in a long time, or even just for the first time, she was in love. She was in love with Rachel Berry.

“I am going to give you some motherly advice, _mija_ ,” Santana nodded and Maria continued. “Be careful with your heart, but more importantly, be careful with hers. Rachel seems like a very special girl-”

“She is,” Santana interrupted.

Maria chuckled before continuing, “That means you can’t just throw her away. You hold on to her.”

“I would never do that.”

“Then go get her, and good luck today.”

Santana stood up from the stool and wrapped her arms around her mother’s neck. She held on, almost as if she was afraid to let go. If she ever needed reassurance that she was doing the right thing, her mother just gave her that. She never thought she would be at this place with her mother, let alone so soon, but she was glad they finally made it here.

Maria drew comforting circles on her daughter’s back before Santana pulled away. She glanced over to the clock and noticed it was seven o’clock.

“Well this has been a lovely morning _mija_ , but I need to run. There are other people I need to take care of.”

“Okay mom, I love you.”

“I love you too. Good luck with your song.”

Santana’s mother stood and kissed her daughter’s forehead. She placed her mug in the sink and started to make her way towards the front foyer. Before she could fully exit the kitchen, she turned back to call out to Santana.

“Santana?”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“I look forward to meeting this Rachel girl. Hopefully it will be as your girlfriend.”

“I hope so to mom.”

The two shared another genuine smile before her mom made her way down the hall and out of the house. The nerves that were once in her stomach were replaced with a sense of determination. One way or another, she was going to win over Rachel.

She bounded up the stairs and slipped into her Cheerios uniform. She smoothed out her top and her skirt before smiling at herself in the mirror. It was like she was back in grade school and she was getting giddy over a schoolyard crush. Her stomach flipped at the mere thought of Rachel. She really did love the girl.

She could hear ringing from her phone, most likely a good morning text from Brittany. Santana was never one to wake up from her alarm so she was thankful for Brittany’s texts. As she looked at the screen, her guess was spot on. It was Brittany.

_Good morning sleepyhead. This is you wakeup call. Mike is driving me today so you don’t need to pick me up ~B_

Santana was kind of glad she didn’t have to pick up Brittany. They usually drove together in the mornings to make it to Cheerios, but there was no practice today.

Instead Santana decided to rifle through her phone to find Rachel’s number to see if she needed a ride. She was sure she was going to get one with Finn, but there was no harm in asking. As she moved through her contacts she realized one thing; she didn’t have Rachel’s number.

“Great job Lopez. You’re freaking in love with the girl and you don’t even have her damn number,” Santana voiced aloud to herself.

She decided to head over to the school early and drop off a note in Rachel’s locker. Not only would the girl have her number, but it was a little warm up before the song.

She grabbed her books and her bag and headed out to her car. By the time she got to school, it was only 7:30. She sat in her car and waited, knowing full well that most of the doors weren’t even open. Besides, it wasn’t exactly cool to show up to school 40 minutes early. She took the time to grab out a pen and paper and start writing her note for Rachel.

_Dear Rachel,_

She scratched that out feeling as if it was too formal.

_Rachel,_

_I thought I would drop a note in your locker to cheer you up. Also to say you look hot. I probably haven’t seen you yet but you always look hot._

Real smooth Lopez.

_I was going to do this by text, however this seems way more romantic and stuff. I also realized I don’t have your number. Sad right? So I thought I would give you mine and you can text me yours later. I want you let you know that you should be excited for Glee club later. Prepared to be wooed Ms. Berry._

_Santana xoxo_

_Oh right, my number: (905) 426 1837_

She quickly folded the paper and looked at her dash clock. She noticed that is was 7:55am. She grabbed her bag, and the note, and headed towards the school. She wanted to put the note in Rachel’s locker before the girl and Frankenteen arrived. She went through the side doors and made her way to Rachel’s locker. She slid the piece of paper between the metal slits and made her way towards her first class. If she thought she was giddy before, she just reached a new level. The things Rachel Berry did to her.

She was sitting in English when she felt her phone buzzing. She doubled checked to make sure the teacher wasn’t looking before she pulled out her phone. The number didn’t look familiar, so she was hoping in was Rachel. With one last look to the teacher, she opened the message.

**_The note was very sweet of you Santana~ Rachel_ **

_Well I try :) ~ S_

**_So you have a surprise for me in Glee. Is it a song? ~ Rachel_ **

_No I bought you an elephant, what do you think? ~ S_

**_I am going to take your extreme sarcasm as a yes :) ~Rachel_ **

_Hot and smart. I picked a good one ;) ~ S_

**_Why thank you, you’re not so bad yourself ;) But you don’t have me yet remember ~ Rachel_ **

_I’m working on it :) ~ S_

The texting stopped for a few minutes. Santana didn’t really worry about it though. She knew Rachel was very focussed with her studies, even if it was almost the end of senior year. Most people gave up on their school work by now but not Rachel. It was just another thing that Santana loved about the girl.

She was in the middle of actually taking a note down when she felt her phone buzz again. With a quick look to her teacher to see if her back was turned, she opened up the message. It didn’t surprise her to see it was Rachel.

**_So what song are you going to sing? ~ Rachel_ **

_It’s no fun if I tell you, now is it? ~ S_

**_You know I hate surprises :( ~ Rachel_ **

_I didn’t actually but now I do :) ~ S_

That was a lie. She completely knew that Rachel hated surprises, but she didn’t want her to know that.

**_Can you please tell me? I promise to act surprised :) ~ Rachel_ **

_No can do babe. You will just have to wait ;) ~S_

The texts stopped for a minute or two before Rachel finally replied.

**_I like when you call me that ~ Rachel_ **

_Call you what? ~ S_

**_Babe :) ~ Rachel_ **

Santana was confused. She didn’t remember calling Rachel babe at all. She went back a few messages before she found it. She didn’t even realize she did it; it was kind of natural she guessed. She was about to apologize before she realized that Rachel liked it. A beaming smile spread across her face.

_You do? ~ S_

**_Yeah it’s really cute :) No one has called me babe before ~ Rachel_ **

_Well babe, I will gladly call you babe whenever you desire :) ~ S_

**_You are such a dork ~ Rachel_ **

_Only for you ;) ~ S_

**_So are you going to tell me what song you are singing? ~ Rachel_ **

_Nope :) ~ S_

**_Not even the artist? :( ~ Rachel_ **

_You will have to wait and see ~ S_

Even though her phone kept buzzing, she put it away. She knew it was just Rachel asking her what song she was going to sing. She knew the girl could act surprised but she wanted it to be genuine. She wanted to see the emotions cross over the girl’s face as she sang.

She picked up her forgotten pen and continued to follow along with the lesson. The lesson was pointless, as this was English, but she decided to trudge on anyways. She needed to get her mind off Rachel if only for a moment. That moment didn’t last more than two minutes.

It was the end of the day and the Glee kids were filing into the room. Santana had asked Puck to be early so he could set his guitar off to the side. She was with him on the back risers before they were joined by Brittany and Mike. Rachel and Finn were the last two to arrive. They looked happy but they weren’t touching at all. Santana could still tell there was some trouble in paradise. Not that she was complaining.

The two sat down in front of them and Rachel chanced a look back at the Latina. The starlet gave her an innocent smile, which was extremely cute in Santana’s eyes, and Santana returned it. She watched Rachel turn around before she felt a nudge from Puck.

“If you don’t want to blow your cover, I suggest you put your eyes back in your head,” Puck smirked.

“Shut up,” Santana nudged him back and smiled.

Mr. Shue walked in late, as per usual. He was usually off with Ms. Pillsbury, which was understandable due to the fact they were engaged. He set his bag next to the piano bench and made his way towards the white bored.  He was about to write some ridiculous lesson that would help for Nationals before Santana spoke up.

“Mr. Shue?”

“Uh...yes Santana?”

“I was wondering if I could sing a song?”

“I don’t know Nationals are coming up. Are you trying out for a solo?”

“No I just want to get something off my chest.”

Mr. Shue thought this over for a moment. A lot of this year, all of his ideas were about shaping the club for Nationals. She was surprised he even took a moment to think about something else other than winning. Sure she wanted to win as much as everyone else, but his lessons were getting ridiculous.

“Yeah sure, the floor is yours.”

Santana nudged Puck to get up and grab his guitar. Brittany sent her an encouraging wink and a smile. She returned it and made her way to the center of the room. She pulled over two stools for both her and Puck before they sat down.

“This song is for someone special. I hope it lets them know that this is how I feel.”

She made brief eye contact with Rachel, making sure not to alert Finn to anything suspicious. They were starting to run out of chairs for him to kick in the choir room. She turned to her left and gave Puck a nod for him to start playing. As he played the opening chords, she noticed her queue and started to sing the first verse.

_When the rain  
Is blowing in your face  
And the whole world  
Is on your case  
I could offer you  
A warm embrace  
To make you feel my love  
  
_

She looked up and met Rachel’s stare. She could see the girl’s eyes starting to glass over with tears. Santana had to look away to make sure she didn’t tear up herself.

_When the evening shadows  
And the stars appear  
And there is no - one there  
To dry your tears  
I could hold you  
For a million years  
To make you feel my love  
  
_

Santana could feel her heart racing. Every word she sang rang true with how she felt about Rachel. She wanted to show the girl that she would be there and love her no matter what. The chorus really spoke to their relationship though.

_I know you  
Haven't made  
Your mind up yet  
But I would never  
Do you wrong_

Puck came in and harmonized the next line with the Latina. _  
I've known it  
From the moment  
That we met  
  
_

Then Santana finished off the chorus alone with the final line.

 _No doubt in my mind  
Where you belong  
  
_ Santana looked up and could see a single tear rolling down Rachel’s cheek. She could feel her throat constrict with her own unshed tears. Her eyes were starting to glass over, her vision was becoming blurry. She had to look away again but it was getting harder to look away from Rachel.

_I'd go hungry  
I'd go black and blue  
I'd go crawling  
Down the avenue  
Know there's nothing  
That I wouldn't do  
To make you feel my love_

Puck played a small solo and Santana looked back to Rachel. She gave the petit brunette a small smile and it was graciously returned. When Puck finished the small solo, he joined Santana in singing the next line.

_The storms are raging  
On the rolling sea_

Santana sang the next line alone.

  
_And on the highway of regret_

Puck joined in once more.  
  


_The winds of change  
Are blowing wild and free_

And Santana finished off the rest of the verse alone.

 _You ain't seen nothing  
Like me yet_ _  
  
_She finally made full eye contact with Rachel for the rest of the song. She didn’t care about Finn or the rest of the Glee clubs members. All she cared about was Rachel. _  
  
I could make you happy  
Make your dreams come true  
Nothing that I wouldn't do  
Go to the ends  
Of the Earth for you  
To make you feel my love, To make you feel my love_

Puck stopped playing the guitar and the room erupted in applause. She could see Rachel wiping away a few stray tears. She felt herself blinking rapidly to keep her own tears from falling. She could hear Mr. Shue clapping beside her before he spoke.

“That was amazing, Santana. You know, I don’t think I give you guys enough credit. We have been working so hard for this Nationals thing that I didn’t really give you guys a chance to just sing and feel the music. I am going to give everyone the day off today. Go out and have some fun.”

Everyone cheered, clearly excited that they didn’t have to work on one of Mr. Shue’s odd singing assignments. Santana was sure he just wanted to spend time with Ms. Pillsbury but she didn’t argue. She wanted a day off as much as everyone else.

She felt Puck pat her shoulder as he stood up to put his guitar away. Brittany walked past her holding Mike’s hand and gave her another encouraging wink. Soon everyone had filtered out of the room except for herself, Rachel and Finn. She made an attempt to look busy as she listened in on Rachel’s and Finn conversation.

“Come on Rachel, let’s go.”

“I’ll catch up with you in a minute. I forgot some sheet music in Mr. Shue’s office.”

Finn cast a glance towards Santana. She didn’t meet his gaze but she could feel his eyes on her. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Finn nod in agreement before squeezing the petit girl’s shoulder and exiting out of the room. Santana was glad he didn’t kiss the girl. She wasn’t sure if she could handle that.

She grabbed her bag and made her way down the risers to stand in front of Rachel. She let her hands run over her uniform nervously as she worked up the courage to speak to the girl.

“Did you like it?” Santana looked up timidly.

“No,” Santana heart sank a little. “I loved it. That was so beautiful.”

Santana smiled nervously at Rachel and the petit brunette beamed back. Santana could see a tear run down Rachel’s cheek so she used the pad of her thumb to wipe it away. She let her hand linger for a moment before she dropped it back to her side.

“Did you really mean all that? Is that really how you feel?”

“Yeah it is. I told you, I am not going anywhere,” Santana paused. “I will do anything to ‘ _make you feel my love_ ,’” Santana softly sang out the line of the song and both girls chuckled.

“I guess I should get going. Don’t want people to start looking for me.”

“Right,” Santana gave a polite smile but she wished Rachel didn’t have to go.

“Goodbye,” Rachel leaned forward and kissed the corner of Santana’s lips. She felt Rachel’s lips linger for a moment before she pulled away. “Thank you.”

Santana was stunned as she watched Rachel walk out the door of the choir room. The corner of her lips still burned from where Rachel had kissed her. If she didn’t already know it by now, she would say she was in love with Rachel Berry.


	6. Can I Stay With You Tonight

“Rachel....Rachel, are you even listening to me?”

The usually bubbly brunette was brought out of her thoughts and back to the boy who was sitting next to her. The two were sitting in Finn’s truck in the middle of the school parking lot. While Rachel was lost in her thoughts, she had failed to notice that they hadn’t actually moved yet. Nor did she notice Finn was trying to get her attention.

She wasn’t exactly sure how long the boy was trying to get her attention. Her mind had been clouded since the Latina’s performance. She made an attempt to sound attentive by responding to the boy.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” Rachel answered, finding it hard to keep focus on her fiancée.

“What has been up with you lately? You’ve been weird since the party.”

Rachel chanced a look into Finn’s eyes but had to quickly look away. Though she was still angry with Finn, the incident at the party was not the reason she was acting weird. The current tension between them was because of a certain Latina; it was because of Santana.

She had spent the week trying to figure out her emotions. She liked the Latina, she _really_ liked Santana, but she also had her fiancée to think about. She may not love him as much as she should, but the boy cared for her.

She was drawn back to his eyes when he made an attempt to apologize once more.

“Look Rach, I am really sorry for what happened at the party. I was kind of drunk and jealous.”

“Finn I already told you, it’s okay. I am not mad at you for that. You had no reason to be jealous though.”

She noticed Finn open his mouth before closing it quickly. She knew the boy had something to say, but he was definitely taking his time choosing his words. Ever since the party incident, there had been clear tension between the two. They still smiled, laughed and made conversation. On the outside looking in, they were still that happy couple. However, in reality, they were far from it.

That night sparked something between the two that only led towards disaster. They were arguing more frequently, spending more time apart. The longing glances, the hugs, the kisses, they all ceased to exist. They were two people holding on to something that was never going to work.

But it was safe.

Even after Santana’s promise to be there and love her, she still couldn’t find the courage to let go of Finn. He was her leading man, right? She however was finding it hard to continue to make excuses for Finn. It was all getting to be too much.

Rachel pinched the bridge of her nose sensing the coming argument; the jealousy argument. Ever since the party, Finn would stop going on about Santana. The brunette was quickly growing tired of it.

“Rachel, are you kidding me? Do you not see the way Santana looks at you?”

“Just leave it alone, Finn. I am tired of arguing about this with you.”

“We’ll leave it alone when you can admit she likes you, Rachel!”

“Why does it matter to you?”

“Because I feel threatened, Rachel! She sang you a god damn song in Glee club today. Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

“Finn...”

“And don’t think I didn’t notice the way you reacted while she sang it.”

Rachel could sense the hurt in Finn’s voice. This was the last thing she wanted; to see Finn hurt. She knew the boy could be inconsiderate and an ass at times, but no one deserved to be hurt. She never wanted that. Her heart was so conflicted. No matter what she did, someone got hurt.

“Finn, just let it go. Please?”

He paused for a moment, looking as if he was going to speak. He closed his mouth and looked at his fiancée, seeing the once burning embers of their relationship fade away to nothing but ash. He swallowed his pride and stuck the key into the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot. The entire ride between them was silent.

Santana was now sitting in one of the plastic chairs in the choir room. She didn’t know how much time had passed. 10 minutes easily, but she couldn’t find it in her to move towards her car. The faint tingle of Rachel’s lips still lingered on the corner of her own. She grazed the pads of her fingers over the feeling, thinking it would fade, but it didn’t. It only seemed to increase the feeling.

She sat there, dazed and dumbfounded. It may have only been a lingering peck, but it meant something. It meant that Rachel understood how she felt. It also meant that even after the brunette had made plans to not be physical, Rachel still couldn’t help but kiss her. That thought alone sent a flutter through her stomach.

“Hey Santana, what are you still doing here? I thought you would have been the first one out the door.”

Santana was brought out of her thoughts about Rachel as she heard Mr. Shue’s booming voice. He was speaking softly, but the echo of the choir room and the base of his voice made him seem louder.

“Yeah, I was just about to leave.”

Santana began to gather her things, hoping the teacher would take it as a sign to leave her alone. However, Mr. Shue continued to make small talk with the Latina.

“You were really great today. I haven’t seen you sing with that much passion since...well ever.”

“Umm...thanks I guess.”

The raven haired girl was quickly finding this discussion awkward. It only made it more awkward knowing full well that it was after hours and they were alone. She slowly edged her way towards the door when Mr. Shue decided to ask a question.

“Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to tackle the solo for Nationals? You did amazing today and you were great when you sang Valerie.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I couldn’t take that away from Rachel. She deserves the solo.”

“That’s really nice of you, Santana. I am glad that you and Rachel have put aside your differences and found a way to be friends.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Santana felt the corners of her lips lift into a smile. She had tried to contain her happiness and her giddiness in front of the teacher, but thinking about Rachel always brought a smile to her face. She was surprised herself that they became friends. She was surprised that there was a possibility for them to be more than friends. But in the end, if all she got from Rachel was a few scattered words every few months, she would take it, as long as she had Rachel somehow.

She smiled politely at the teacher, trying to brush off her previous giddiness. He returned the polite smile and Santana made her way out of the choir room doors. She found her car in the abandoned parking lot and quickly hopped inside. She could quickly see the skies above her clouding over and the scenery around her turning gray. She knew a storm was about to happen, so she quickly started her car and headed for home.

Finn pulled his truck to a stop in Rachel’s driveway. Since they were both engaged, they would have family dinners together before returning to their separate homes. They had tried living together, but decided to live out their senior year as teenagers before jumping into the married life and adulthood.

This week was they were having family dinner at Rachel’s house. Each week they alternated between both of their houses so that both families could have equal time with the young couple. Rachel was silently happy that dinner was at her own home this week because she didn’t think she could handle any more judgemental stares from the Hudson-Hummel family. Finn had told Burt and Carol of the incident at the party last week. Though Rachel expressed her apologies, they still continued to berate her on the topic.

Finn got out of his truck and walked around to open Rachel’s door. He held out his hand for the petite girl to help her out of the large truck. She gave him a weak smile, it was sincere, but it was mostly just to be polite. She knew the boy was trying to make things between them better again. 

The two walked inside the house before Finn gently grabbed Rachel’s wrist and spun her around.

“Hey Rach?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to snap back there at the school. It’s just...I can’t lose you, Rachel. You’re the only good thing I have in my life. I don’t know what I do without you.”

Rachel felt her throat constrict. With every swallow it was getting harder to breath. She knew what this was, a panic attack. She hadn’t had one since freshman year of high school. It was the first day she got slushied and she was cleaning herself off in the bathroom, tears rolling down her cheeks. The same symptoms were present now; her throat was constricting, it was getting harder to breath, the room around her felt like it was spinning and she could feel beads of sweat forming on her forehead.

“Hey Rach, you okay? You look kind of spaced out.”

Rachel made an attempt to speak but her words were lost. She started to feel faint, so she made her way towards the couch in the living room. It was then that Finn noticed something was wrong with the girl. He followed closely behind Rachel and sat next to her on the couch.

“Rachel, oh my god, are you okay?”

To hear Finn’s panicked voice certainly did not help the situation. She tried to speak once again but failed miserably. She began to hyperventilate, trying to take in deep breaths, but they came out in short laboured breaths. She felt Finn wrapped his arms around her tiny frame. His voice was soft, calm.

“Rachel, calm down. You’re okay.”

She tried to let his calming words wash over her, but they only seemed to make her more panicked. She was thankful when she heard the door open and the sound of her fathers come in.

“We’re home we brought....what is going on here?” Hiram questioned.

“What did you do to her?” Leroy asked, clearly worried about his daughter.

“I-I didn’t do anything. We were talking and she just kind of freaked out. I don’t know how to help.”

“She’s having another panic attack.”

Hiram dropped the grocery bags before jogging his way over to the couch. She was glad her dad was there, he was always the best person to aid with her panic attacks. Even with just hearing his voice, she already felt slightly better; but only slightly.

“I got her, Finn. Why don’t you go wash up for dinner?”

Finn froze only momentarily before he turned and made his way upstairs. Hiram knelt in front of his daughter and grabbed both of her hands. The tiny brunette felt immediate comfort in this gesture. She was glad her dads came home when they did.

“Honey, look at me.”

Rachel looked up from their clasped hands and looked in her dad’s eyes.

“Okay, remember the breathing techniques. Deep breaths, Rachel.”

Rachel started to take deep breaths, it was hard at first, but she eventually started to calm. The tightness in her throat ceased and she felt her air ways open. After a few minutes, she was back to her normal self; or at least as normal as she was before the attack.

“Are you okay, honey? You haven’t had an attack in awhile?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just got a little stressed I guess.”

Leroy made his way over to the couch and sat next to his daughter. He placed a comforting hand on her knee.

“Do you want to talk about it? I haven’t seen an attack that bad since your freshman year.”

“I’m fine, really daddy,” She looked at Leroy. “Just a lot of thoughts jumbled together and freaked me out, I guess.”

“Well, I was going to say that we couldn’t do dinner tonight. We both got called back to the firm, but I can see if we can cancel?”

“Nonsense, I’ll be fine,” Her fathers looked at her skeptically. “Really I am fine. Go back to work. Finn and I will just have a quiet night in.”

Rachel fathers nodded in agreement, though they were still unsure about leaving their daughter; especially with Finn. Rachel wasn’t sure if she could handle the evening with Finn alone either. However, she was going to try. Tonight she would make one of the biggest decisions she ever had to make; Finn or Santana?

Santana pulled into her driveway as the rain started to come down. It was fairly light, but she could tell it was picking up. She reached in the back seat and grabbed her bag, also draping her Cheerios jacket over her head, as she opened the car door and ran into the house.

Once inside, she could hear her mother softly singing in the kitchen. Her father’s deep laugh echoed down the long hallway. It had been awhile since both of her parents were home at the same time. Usually, either one of them was gone or both of them. She was going to reap the benefits from this moment, no matter how small it was.

She dropped her bag and slipped her shoes off at the front door. She hung the damp letterman jacket in the closet before making her way down the hall towards the kitchen. When she walked in, her mother was dancing around the kitchen with her father as dinner cooked on the stove nearby. The song was unrecognizable to the Latina, but it didn’t matter. She was just happy to see her parents happy.

Her parents broke apart, both looking slightly embarrassed, as they noticed Santana enter the kitchen.

“ _Hola mija_ , nice of you to join us this fine evening. Care to dance with your _, papi_?

“I appreciate the offer dad, but I will pass,” Santana chuckled.

“Well come on in, join us,” Her mother ordered. “I want to hear all about Glee club today.”

“What was so special about Glee club today?” Santana father questioned.

“She sang to Ms. Rachel Berry today.”

Santana’s cheeks flushed red as she found her seat at the table. Her parents were giving her _that_ smile. The ‘my baby’s all grown up’ or the ‘aww she’s got a little crush’ smile. It bothered her but she couldn’t help but smile back.

“Ahh yes. Rachel Berry. How did it go, _mija_?”

“Umm, it went well I think.”

“Okay, everyone grab a plate first and then we can start the interrogation.”

Everyone laughed before standing up and grabbing a plate out of the cupboard. They scooped various dishes her mother made onto their plates before returning back to the table. Santana thought the coast was clear until her mother started her questioning.

“So you’re not going to leave us off like that. I want all the dirty details.”

“Woah, not if they’re too dirty. There are some things a father should never know.”

“It’s not like I screwed her in the choir room, dad.”

“Hey, language _mija_. And again, things I never want to know.”

Everyone chuckled before taking a few bites of their meals. Santana had missed this; family dinner. It was not often she got them. Most nights she was by herself heating up some leftovers or ordering pizza. Even when she wasn’t alone, both of her parents were never usually home at the same time. Nor did they ever have talks like this.

“So come on Santana. Spill, what happened?”

“Well I sang ‘Make You Feel my Love’ by Adele.”

“Aww that’s so cute,” Maria Lopez added.

“This will be a whole lot easier to talk about without comments from the peanut gallery.”

“Sorry, our lips out sealed,” Santana’s father made a locking gesture at his lips before throwing away the invisible key. Santana had to smile at that.

“There wasn’t much to it. I sang the song, and the song kind of talked about how I felt. She asked me if those were my true feelings and I said yes. Then she kissed my cheek.”

When Santana looked up at both of her parents, she could see the giddiness they were trying to contain. And to be honest, she was the exact same way earlier. Santana was never the romantic type, so this was kind of a shock for all three of them. It was, however, welcomed with open arms.

“That is adorable,” Santana’s mother added.

“We Lopez get all the ladies to fall for us. It’s part of the charm,” Her father sent her a wink.

They all shared another chuckle before they went back to eating their meals. They decided to stay away from the subject of Finn, wanting to keep the mood light and free. They wanted to enjoy one family meal before life got in the way. They shared small talk, stories and jokes as they ate their dinner. Soon after, the three cleaned up the kitchen and placed the leftovers back into the fridge.

“How about a Lopez movie night? It has been awhile since we’ve had one of those,” Santana asked.

“No can do, _mija_. Your mother and I have to get back to the hospital. They are short handed in the ER and need some extra hands. How about on Friday?”

Santana was a little crushed but she brushed it aside. Dinner was great tonight and she was going to take her small victories. She knew having a career in the medical field was never easy. The last thing she wanted to do was make her parents feel guilty.

“No problem. Friday sounds great,” Santana smiled.

She said goodbye to her parents, giving them hugs and kisses on the cheek. She watched as they both got into their separates cars and headed out the driveway. She closed the front door and made her way into the living room. She put in a disk of Sweet Valley High and cuddled on the couch by herself.

Rachel and Finn were sitting quietly at the dining room table. Her fathers had left around a half hour ago and left herself and Finn alone for dinner. The boy offered to go out or even back to his house, but Rachel declined. She didn’t really want to see a lot of people right now.

They sat across from each other, attempting to make some sort of small talk. Eventually, they just decided to stay silent. The only sound that filled the space between them was the scraping cutlery on plates.

Every so often, Rachel’s eyes would wander to her left hand at the ring that resided there. Once, that ring used to mean everything to her. It meant she had someone, someone special. She was in love. Now it was a reminder of how screwed up life was getting.

“What’s on your mind, Rachel?”

Rachel looked up to meet Finn’s eyes. She could see the hurt, but she could also feel he knew something was really wrong. This wasn’t fair to either of them. This wasn’t love. This was settling.

“I...I can’t do this.”

“What eat dinner? Are you not hungry? We don’t have to eat it’s fine...”

“Not that Finn,” She paused. “I can’t do this,” She gestured between herself and Finn.

“Rach, what are you talking about?”

She looked at the boy, her vision starting to blur with the promise of tears starting to fill in her eyes. She silently slipped off the engagement ring and placed in on the table in from of her. Both her eyes and Finn’s were on the ring as she slid it towards the boy.

“I’m talking about this,” Rachel whispered.

“Rachel, this is crazy talk. I told you, I’m sorry. I can fix this I promise. I...I can fix us.”

“No...no you can’t Finn,” Her voice cracked.

“Rachel just put the ring back on, okay? Please put it back on,” She could hear the waver in his voice.

“Finn, please. Just let me go.”

Finn shook his head as he grabbed the ring off the table. He stood up and walked around the small table before kneeling beside Rachel. The brunette looked down at the boy and could see he was tearing up. It only broke her heart even more.

“I can’t let this go, not without a fight. What am I going to do without you, Rachel?”

“You are going to let me go,” She paused. “You are going to let me go and we are both going to move on. We are going to meet the loves of our lives and live out all of our dreams.”

“You are the love of my life Rachel, don’t you know that?”

“No I’m not Finn. I’ve never been. We’re each other’s safety net. But now....now is the time to let each other go. It’s time to set each other free.”

Rachel could feel the tears running down her cheeks as she watched the boy break in front of her. It hurt to do this, to break his heart, but she had to do it. She had to do it because her heart no longer belonged to him. It belonged to Santana.

“I don’t want to let you go. I can’t let you go Rachel,” Finn was firm with his speaking, trying to stop the tears that were starting to fall. “I love you.”

“I love you too but...”

“But what Rachel? What could possibly be running through your head to make you want to end this?”

“Finn, it’s not...”

“TELL ME!”

She knew the boy was angry and hurt, but she didn’t except him to yell. His loud voice forced her to jump slightly in her chair. She wished he would just let it go. She wished he would just leave. She wished Santana was there.

“My heart doesn’t belong to you anymore,” Rachel almost whispered.

“Doesn’t belong to me anymore? I am your fiancée Rachel!”

“Not anymore.”

She knew it was a harsh blow but it needed to be said. It hurt, it hurt them both, but she knew they would both benefit in the long run. They weren’t even married yet and they were already falling out of love. It wasn’t fair to ask for that kind of commitment when you don’t really love the other person.

“Who is it, hmm? Who has your heart now, Rachel?”

“Finn...”

“Is it Puck? I swear to god I will beat his ass.”

“God no, it’s not Puck. He’s like a brother to me.”

“It’s that Jessie kid then isn’t it? I knew when I heard he was back in town he would come after you. I am going to find him and...”

“Just leave it alone, Finn!” Rachel shouted, however, not nearly as loud as Finn.

She watched the confusion pass over his features. She could tell he was trying to figure out what happened; what went wrong? His confused expression quickly changed to one of anger. He took his eyes that were resting on the floor and glared right at Rachel.

“It’s her isn’t it?”

Rachel remained silent.

“Answer me! It’s her isn’t it? Santana?”

Rachel looked away from Finn’s eyes. She focused her gaze down to her hands. She could find it in herself to speak, so she just nodded.

She could feel Finn stand up, feel his large figure towering over her. She couldn’t look up at him. She couldn’t look into his eyes and see the hurt and the betrayal she knew was there. She just kept her eyes on her hands, waiting for him to start yelling.

“I knew it. I knew it this whole fucking time!” Finn shouted.

“Finn please...”

“No, you don’t get to play the victim, okay? Don’t act like your heart is broken right now. You lied to me Rachel. You ruined us!” He continued to shout, pacing the floor.

Rachel’s gaze left her clasped hands as she looked at the boy, “You think it is easy for me? You think I woke up one day and thought ‘let me break Finn’s heart.’ We haven’t been working for awhile and you know it!”

She could see the anger building within him. She could see his muscles flex, his face turn red. He continued to pace the floor slightly, trying to work this all out in his head. Rachel was just praying he wouldn’t do anything rash.

“You know what, fine, I’m done! I don’t need you. Just one thing Rachel,” He leaned in closer to Rachel’s face. “Just don’t come crying to me when she uses you and breaks your heart.”

With that, Finn grabbed the ring, which fell to the ground, and stormed out of the house. When the door finally slammed, she let her trapped tears fall. She didn’t know why she was crying, she wanted to end it with Finn. She just didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

The brunette’s phoned buzzed with an incoming text from her fathers. They said they wouldn’t make it home that night because they were working on a high profile case. They wouldn’t be home until the early hours of the morning.

Rachel sat there, frozen. She didn’t know what to do. She just needed someone. She really didn’t want to be alone.

Her body seemed to move on its own accord as she stood up, not even bothering to grab her car keys, and headed out the door. There was only one place she wanted to be right now.

Santana was woken up from her light sleep as she heard knocking at the door. She assumed she fell asleep for a few hours as the DVD menu was playing on repeat.

She untangled herself from her blanket and made her way towards the door. She was hoping it wasn’t Puckerman, but she was surprised to open the door and find...

“Rachel?”

The petite brunette stood at her door with tears streaming down her cheeks. She was completely soaked from the storm and the Latina could see the girl shivering. Santana didn’t need her to answer. She just walked up to the girl and wrapped her arms tightly around her.

“Shh Rachel, it’s okay.”

“I left him. I left Finn. I...I didn’t know where else to go,” Rachel choked out.

“Shh baby, it’s okay. Come inside, you’re shivering.”

Rachel didn’t protest as the Latina pulled her into the large family home. The petite brunette also didn’t protest when the Latina drew her a hot bath and gave her a change of dry clothes. When Rachel was warmed up and in the fresh change of clothes, she met Santana downstairs in the living room. The Latina was still perched on the couch, aimlessly flipping through crappy late night television.

“Hey, feel any better?”

“A little,” Her voice was still a little hoarse from crying.

“Come here.”

Rachel walked around the couch and sat beside the Latina. Santana wrapped her arms around the tiny brunette as Rachel buried her face in the Latina’s neck.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. I just...I needed you.”

“I’m always here Rach, whenever you need me.”

“Are your parents home?”

“No they are working the graveyard shift.”

“Can I stay with you tonight?”

Santana kissed the top of Rachel’s head before responding, “Of course.”


	7. Breakfast

Rachel’s eyes slowly fluttered open as the sun beamed through the large windows. She quickly shut them, due to the intensity, and turned away from the bright light. It was only now that she could begin to feel the ache in her joints and muscles. It felt like she had just run a 20 mile marathon only the day before. She let out a groan and opened her eyes. Confusion quickly filled her senses as she was met with the back of a couch, and the couch was not her own. As her senses woke up to her surroundings, she realized that she was not in her own home. She was at Santana’s.

The memories of yesterday slowly started to flood her thoughts. She really left him. She had left Finn. Though she knew it was right, she couldn’t ignore the slight pang of hurt that resided in her chest. She didn’t love him, she knew than, but he had been a very important part of her life. He was her fiancé. As she looked at her ring finger, she couldn’t ignore the slight drop of her stomach at the absence of her engagement ring. Her security, her sureness and her dreams suddenly vanished. Sure she could find someone to marry, but it was no longer a sure thing. That scared her.

As Rachel turned back over, trying to ignore the pain, as her eyes landed on Santana. The Latina had curled herself on the recliner that sat closest to the couch. Rachel couldn’t help the smile that donned on her face. She had assumed she fell asleep while watching late night TV with Santana and she assumed that the Latina didn’t want to wake her. Instead, she chose to stay in the living room with her instead of going to her own room. Rachel’s heart fluttered at the thought.

Even though Santana was in a large pull over sweatshirt, Rachel couldn’t ignore how the dark skinned girl shivered slightly. Rachel noticed the blanket draped over herself, assuming it was the only one in the room, and felt slightly bad. She knew that Santana was just trying to take care of her, but she didn’t want the Latina to suffer.

Noticing that she wasn’t going back to sleep anytime soon, she stood up from the couch and stretched her muscles. She winced slightly at the pull, but it felt decidedly better than when she was lying on the couch. She took the blanket that had previously covered her and draped it softly over Santana. She could see the faint smile of appreciation on Santana’s lips as she curled herself further into the recliner. Rachel slowly leaned forward and pressed her lips to Santana’s forehead. Her lips lingered, much like they did in the choir room, but she didn’t mind. She slowly pulled back before the Latina could stir awake.

Rachel slowly wrapped her arms around herself as she padded her way towards the kitchen. Her hands fisted the loose material that hung off her. She looked down and noticed she was wearing one of Santana’s Cheerio sweatshirts and a pair of cotton shorts. She couldn’t help the small smile the spread across her face. She didn’t know why, but she loved wearing the Latina’s clothes. Even though they hung to loose, they smelled like Santana. She loved it.

She finally made her way towards the kitchen and looked at the clock. She noticed it was 8 am, way later than she usually woke up, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. Usually she woke up at 6 am to start her morning workout, but she decided today could be an exception. Besides, she didn’t think she would be able to work through the pain in her muscles. Noting the time, she decided to send a quick text to her fathers to let them know where she was. She assumed they may already be back at the office, but she didn’t want them to worry about her. They were already seemingly worried after her panic attack, so she didn’t really feel like adding to that.

After the text was sent, she made her way to the coffee maker to brew her and Santana some coffee. After a few confusing minutes, she finally figured out the elaborate machine and now all she had to do was wait. She lifted her small frame, which took a little effort, and perched herself on the marble counter. She took in a deep breath and let it out. It was quiet, but it was soothing. The only sounds that disturbed the stillness was her own breathing and the coffee machine. She needed this; a moment of clarity. These small moments were few and far between, so she was happy she had this small moment now.

When the coffee was finally ready, she pulled out two mugs and quickly topped them up. Not knowing exactly what Santana took in her coffee, she decided to carry a tray over with milk, cream and sugar. She was happy that the Lopez family carried soy milk in their fridge. She was addicted to coffee, but whenever she was not in her own home or at the Lima Bean, no one ever carried vegan friendly options. She assumed it was because the Lopez’s were health nuts.

She slowly carried the tray from the kitchen back to the living room. She carefully placed the tray on the coffee table before her eyes landed back on the Latina. She was still asleep, and even more tangled up in the blanket Rachel had placed on her. She looked so peaceful. She really didn’t want to wake her, but she knew the girl shouldn’t waste the day away. Besides, she didn’t want the coffee to get cold. She padded over to the recliner and knelt in front of the Latina. She carefully shook Santana’s shoulder as she spoke softly.

“Santana, it’s time to wake up.”

Rachel waited for a response but was not surprised when she didn’t get one. She knew the Latina liked her sleep, but she wanted to spend the day with the girl.

She placed another soft kiss to Santana’s forehead before whispering again.

“Santana, it’s time to get your sexy ass up,” Rachel smiled.

Santana slowly started to stir awake. Her nose scrunched slightly as she took in the bright sun. Rachel thought it was absolutely adorable. When her eyes finally fluttered open, they landed on the starlet in front of her. A smile instantly graced her lips.

“Mmm, I could get used to waking up like this.”

Rachel cheeks flushed red under the Latina’s stare. Santana just found it to be absolutely adorable. She loved that she had that effect on Rachel Berry.

“I-I made us some coffee,” Rachel was surprised at how nervous she sounded.

“Thanks,” Santana smiled as she sat up.

“I wasn’t sure what you took in your coffee, so I brought out everything.”

“Thanks, I usually take it black with two sugars.”

“I’ll have to remember that,” Rachel smiled.

There was a slight awkwardness between the two, but it was almost welcomed. It was that awkwardness that came when you were sitting across from your crush in grade school. Butterflies danced in your stomach and a permanent smiled seemed to grace your face. You would catch each other’s eye every now and then, only to look away with a flushed face. Awkward touches were exchanged as both would reach for the sugar, or when they were crossing paths. Touches lingered and then were quickly pulled back, almost as if you were being burned. It was slightly awkward but a completely warranted feeling.

“Sorry I made you sleep in the couch, I just didn’t want to wake you,” Santana confessed.

“It’s okay, I mean I am a little sore, but I slept well. Why didn’t you just go to your own room?”

“I didn’t want to leave you here by yourself,” Rachel smiled.

Rachel didn’t want to ask the next question but she was curious for the answer.

“Why didn’t you stay with me on the couch?” She could feel her lips pout slightly. She didn’t mean to pout, but it was worth it to see the smile on Santana’s face.

“Trust me, I would have loved to. But I think there are some feelings you need to work out before we jump into this.”

“What are you talking about?”

“As much as I would love to cuddle with you, I didn’t forget the way to looked on my front porch. You left Finn, and though I know it was the right choice, I still know it was a hard thing to do.”

And there it was again; the pain. She wished she could just brush past it, she wished she could just not think about him anymore, but she did. The wounds were still fresh. Santana was right, she was right when she left Finn, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less. He was an important part of her life. Wounds don’t heal overnight.

“I wish I could though...forget that is.”

“I know, but I am not stupid enough to believe you can bounce back from something like that overnight. You need time Rachel. I’m willing to wait for you.”

Rachel beamed as she looked into Santana’s eyes. There she sat, right in front of her. Santana was sitting in front of her own eyes and telling her that she wasn’t going anywhere. Her heart swelled. She had to quickly look away as she felt the heat building in her cheeks. Her smile grew impossibly bigger when she heard Santana chuckle cutely.

With the remnants of a smile still on her lips, she looked back to Santana. The raven haired girl wore a toothy grin that only spread wider when Rachel met her gaze.

“What does that mean for us?”

“What do you mean?” Santana questioned.

“I know I am no longer with Finn, and that you are going to wait. But what is going to happen to us? What are we?”

“A lot of questions for morning coffee,” Santana smirked.

“Sorry it’s just...”

“Rachel it’s okay, you want answers. First and foremost, I don’t want to rush this; rush us. The best relationships build slowly over time,” Santana paused and Rachel smiled. “And besides, I do believe I still have to woo you Ms. Berry.”

“Santana, you don’t need to woo me. You already have me. There is no point to it now.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. You make it sound like you’re some consolation prize. Now is definitely the time to woo you. I need to prove to you that I am worthy enough. I need to prove to you that you made the right decision in leaving Finn.”

“I already know I made the right decision.”

“You haven’t even seen my A-game yet,” Santana winked. “Besides, I haven’t even taken you out on a proper date.”

“My apologies,” Rachel chuckled. “So, do you have a date in mind where you can show me this A-game?” Rachel smiled.

“Breakfast.”

“Breakfast? I have to say, if this is your A-game, I am a little disappointed,” Rachel smirked.

“No, breakfast is because I am hungry. As for your date, you will just have to wait.”

“You’re not going to tell me what you have planned for our date?”

Rachel was all for the plan of wooing, but she didn’t do well with surprises. Her whole life she has lived by schedules and she was always planning ahead. Surprise plans never filtered through. She remembered when her own fathers had tried to plan a surprise party for her and she cried until they let her in on the secret. So the fact that Santana was withholding this information was a little worrying.

“No I am not going to tell you. And before you go on about how you hate surprises, I already know you do. That doesn’t mean I am going to tell you.”

“I am going to figure out what you are planning, you know that right?”

“Well can you figure it out while getting dressed? I am starving.”

Rachel laughed at how ridiculous the Latina was being. She also couldn’t ignore how cute Santana was. She promptly stood with Santana as they carried the tray of dirty coffee cups and extras into the kitchen. Once the mugs were placed in the sink and the milk and cream back into the fridge, they both started making their way upstairs. It was only then that Rachel realized she didn’t have any other clothes there.

“Um, do you have more clothes I can borrow?” Rachel flushed red slightly.

“Of course, I am sure I can find some older clothes so you are not swimming in them.”

“I really don’t mind.”

The two climbed the stairs and headed towards Santana’s room. The room was just as she had remembered from the last time she was there. It was still incredibly large as well as incredibly dark with its black walls. She stood close to the door as Santana made her way to her large walk in closet. It only took a few short minutes before the raven haired girl emerged with a pair of denim shorts and a plain white, v- neck t-shirt.

“I assume you want to shower before we go?” Santana questioned.

“That would be nice.”

“You can take my bathroom. I will just shower down the hall. Your toothbrush is still in the holder by the way.”

Rachel couldn’t ignore the way Santana’s cheeks seemed to flush. Even with her caramel skin she could still see the faint red in her cheeks. She found her to be impossibly cute. She also found it impossibly cute that Santana kept her toothbrush in the holder. It sent a flutter through the starlet’s stomach.

“Let me just grab my stuff and I will leave you to it.”

Santana quickly grabbed her clothes from the closet before making her way out of her bedroom door. Rachel was left standing alone in the middle of the room. It took a moment before she regained her senses and slowly started making her way to the bathroom before closing the door. She placed the clothes on the counter before starting her shower. After she stripped off the Latina’s clothes, she entered into the hot shower. The water rolled over her sore muscles and seemed to wash away the knots and the tension. The longer she stood under the stream of water, the more at ease she felt. She may not be okay right now, but she would be. That thought alone was enough for her.

She washed her hair and her body with all the products that smelled like Santana. Soon the water began to run cold and she turned the knobs to stop the stream of water. She dried herself off before pulling on the clothes that Santana had given her. She used the Latina’s brush to brush out her brunette locks before leaving her hair to air dry. She reached for her toothbrush in the holder, smiling to herself again, before she started brushing her teeth. After she was done, she placed the toothbrush back into the holder and opened up the bathroom door.

As the steam rolled out into the bedroom, she noticed Santana was sitting on her bed. She wore a pair of dark denim shorts and a white, loose tank top. A pair of aviators were held in her hand.

To say she looked hot was an understatement.

“Thank god, I thought my stomach was going to eat itself.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to take so long.”

“It’s okay, but for future reference, my inner Snix tends to come out when I am hungry or tired. Thought I would warn you, babe.”

Rachel couldn’t help but smile at the term of endearment. She was also aware than Santana didn’t seem to notice she said it again. It was almost as if it was natural for the girl.

“What are you smiling about?” Santana questioned.

“You called me babe again.”

“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that out loud; or maybe I did. It’s too soon isn’t it?”

“You’re rambling.”

“Sorry,” Santana looked away embarrassed.

“I already told you, I like when you call me babe,” Rachel smiled.

Santana met Rachel’s stare and couldn’t help but smile back. She stood up from her bed and held out her hand for the tiny brunette.

“Well then we better get going babe before I die of starvation.”

“You are more dramatic than I am,” Rachel chuckled as she shook her head.

“Only when it comes to food,” Santana smiled wider.

Rachel took the few steps forward before grabbing Santana’s hand. It didn’t take long before she felt the Latina interlace their fingers. They paused for a moment, looking at their joined hands. Rachel couldn’t believe how right it felt to hold her hand; how well they fit together. She was so used to her hand being surrounded by the large, rough hands of Finn, that Santana’s small, smooth hands felt right.

Slowly she felt herself being pulled in the direction of the door. She followed Santana down the stairs and out the door. When they reached the Latina’s Range Rover, Santana let go the Rachel’s hand to walk towards the driver’s side.

Rachel immediately missed the contact.

When Rachel pulled herself out of her thoughts, she quickly hopped into the passenger seat of the SUV. Santana quickly started the car and changed the radio station until a song came on that they both enjoyed. Santana quickly pulled out of the driveway and started making her was down the street. At the first stoplight, Santana reached over the center console before interlacing her fingers with Rachel’s once more.

It was not long before they were both stopped in front of the Lima Bean. It was more of a small coffee shop, but they did have great coffee and a small assortment of breakfast sandwiches for this time in the morning. Both Rachel and Santana exited the car and made their way towards the front doors.

When they reached the entrance, Santana stepped in front of Rachel to open the door for the tiny diva.

“Why thank you.”

“Anytime babe.”

Rachel smiled and walked through the metal door. She wasn’t sure if she was ever going to get used to Santana calling her babe.

Santana soon followed behind Rachel as they made their way towards the small lineup. After a few minutes, they made their order. Santana ordered a black coffee with two sugars and a breakfast wrap. She ordered Rachel an herbal tea with one sugar and a vegan breakfast sandwich. Rachel had tried to pay but Santana waived her off. Rachel felt bad, but knew she would pay her back somehow.

They made their way to a small two-seater booth in the corner of the Lima Bean. Even though it was 10 am, the Lima Bean was relatively empty. Even though Lima wasn’t a big town, this place usually got pretty packed around the lunch hour. However, Rachel kind of liked how no one else was really around.

“So you know my order?” Rachel questioned as she took a sip of her tea.

“Let’s just say I paid closer attention to you than you thought.”

“So you stalked me?” Rachel smirked.

“I didn’t stalk you,” Santana flushed. “I mean, I know you probably didn’t want another coffee. I figured herbal tea was down your alley. I also saw you put one sugar in your coffee this morning so I assumed it was the same for your tea. The vegan breakfast sandwich was just a given.”

“Wow.”

“Wow what?” Santana started to look slightly nervous.

“I mean, I am not used to people paying that much attention to me and my needs.”

“Well get used to it,” Santana smiled.

It was true, no matter who she really dated, they never paid a lot of attention to her or her needs. Puck, though he had his sweet moments, was only really with her to hook up with her and to forget about Quinn. Jessie, though more like her personality wise, was really selfish in the long run. If it came down to it, he would have left Rachel behind for fame and fortune in a heartbeat and not think twice about it. Finn didn’t pay enough attention to her. She often noticed him checking out when she was speaking, or constantly forgetting that she was a vegan. Santana said the vegan thing was a given, but it wasn’t to some people. She was just glad Santana cared this much.

“So when do you want to go on a date?”

Rachel almost choked on her sandwich mid chew, which she was sure looked really attractive. It was not that she was surprised that Santana brought up the prospect of a date, it was just that she was so care free about it. She remembered the days when Santana hid away from her feelings for Brittany and was even afraid to link pinkies with the girl. To see her talk about dating her, to see her opening doors for her and to see her willing to hold her hand in public. Santana had come a long way and it made Rachel proud. It made Rachel proud that the Latina was not embarrassed to be seen with her.

“How about tomorrow?”

“You really want to go out on a date so soon?”

“Why not?”

“Rachel, don’t you think the wounds are still a little too fresh. Why not wait until next week?”

“Even though the wounds are still fresh, I have to learn to work through them. I’m not saying I am going to have sex with you and we will magically be girlfriends by tomorrow,” Santana choked on her coffee and Rachel chuckled, “but I want to at least try to move on. Why post phone that?”

“Only if you are absolutely sure about this Rachel. I told you, I don’t mind waiting.”

“I appreciate it, but I want to go out with you. I want to see this A-game of yours.”

Santana chuckled and Rachel joined her. She felt slightly guilty, being so happy after a rough breakup, but the Latina never failed to make her smile. The wounds were still fresh, and they would have to talk about it eventually, but she didn’t want their weekend to be spoiled by it. She just wanted to spend the weekend with Santana the way she had been hoping to spend it with her for many months. Now that she had the opportunity, she wasn’t going to let it go.

“Okay, suit yourself. Tomorrow, prepare for the best date you ever had, Rachel Berry.”

Rachel had to smile at how much of a dork Santana was. Behind the Cheerio uniform and her Lima Heights Adjacent alter ego, Santana was just a huge dork. Rachel loved that. Rachel also loved the fact that the Latina was comfortable enough to be like that around her. It just made her feel more special.

The two shared small talk as they ate their breakfast. As they talked, there were never any lulls in the conversation. Topics flowed freely and connected together effortlessly. It was almost as if they knew each other their whole lives. Rachel never thought it would be like this with Santana; easy. She just guessed she got caught up with the image of Santana Lopez but never took the time to get to know Santana. So far, Rachel liked the girl she was getting to know.

After around an hour, the two had finished their breakfast and were throwing their garbage away. They were planning on heading back to Santana’s when Rachel got a text from her fathers asking her to come home.

“I’d hate to end our day, but my dads want me home.”

“No problem. It’s not like I won’t see you tomorrow anyways,” Santana winked.

The two headed back to Santana’s car and started making their way towards Rachel’s house. As Rachel was giving the Latina directions, she felt Santana reach for her hand once more and interlace their fingers. Rachel lost her sense of direction and ended up making Santana drive in a big circle.

They finally arrived at Rachel’s and Santana parked the car in her driveway before cutting off the engine.

“Thanks for having breakfast with me.”

“Thanks for letting me stay at your house last night.”

“If you ever need it, my door is always open to you Rachel. No matter what.”

Rachel smiled shyly and looked down at their hands. Their hands were still interlaced as they rested in the consol. Rachel absently rubbed her thumb over the back of the Latina’s hand. Santana smiled at the fact that Rachel was doing this without really thinking about it. When the Latina glanced at the house, she could see one of Rachel’s fathers peering out.

“Hey, Rachel?”

“Hmm.”

“I think you have some people that want to talk to you.”

Rachel looked up confused until Santana directed her gaze to the window. As she made eye contact with her dad, he quickly moved away from the window.

“I guess I should get going. See you tomorrow?”

Santana kissed Rachel’s knuckles before responding, “See you tomorrow.”

Rachel beamed as she reluctantly got out of the car. She made her way to her front door before turning around and waving at the Latina. Santana waved back before pulling out of the driveway. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.


	8. The Talk

After watching Santana drive down the street, Rachel opened her front door and slipped in quietly. She didn’t know why, maybe she was hoping her dads would drop the inevitable conversation that was about to happen. She knew she couldn’t get through this mess without consequence, but she was hoping the serious conversations could at least wait until after the weekend.

Rachel started to softly pad across the floor heading towards the stairs before her daddy’s voice rang out in its low bass.

“Hiram, do you see that intruder trying to sneak upstairs?”

“That intruder looks a lot like our daughter, don’t you think?”

“That’s nonsense. We left our daughter here at the house with her fiancé. There is no way she would leave without telling us where she was going,” Rachel paused. She was never one to get into trouble, but she could sense that this time she wouldn’t be so lucky. “There is no way she would wait until morning to send a very vague text to her worried fathers who sat up all night waiting for her.” Scratch that, she was in trouble. There was no doubt about it.

“How about you come over here and join us.”

It wasn’t a question or a suggestion. It was a statement. Rachel walked towards the family room timidly. The certain high that carried her throughout the morning was quickly drifting away in the wake of a serious discussion. The Berry’s were usually the type to avoid serious at any cost, so the fact that tension seemed to loom in the air was unnerving for all.

Rachel sat on the love seat adjacent to her fathers who sat on the large couch.

“Now you can either tell us what happened, or we could just tell you what Carol and Burt told us,” Leroy stated calmly.

“Carol and Burt called?” Rachel asked. That last thing she wanted was to get them involved. They already hated her after the party.

“They did. We could accept their side of the story, but we would much rather hear it from our little girl,” Hiram replied.

Rachel didn’t know where to begin. The memories from yesterday seemed to be pushed into the background of her mind; clouded thoughts of hurtful words and actions between two people who were supposed to be in love. When she thought back to everything that happened yesterday, she only remembered the way Santana held her tightly as she shivered on her front porch. She remembered how gentle and patient Santana was. Her mind seemed to push away all the hurt to only remember the good. And while it was great in the moment, things still had to be dealt with.

“I don’t know where to being,” Rachel responded timidly. Her eyes fixed on the family room rug.

“How about you start with what happened after we left?” Leroy added.

Rachel’s eyes started to glass over as memories started to flood back to the forefront of her mind. The way Finn’s words stung. The hurt expression on his face. The anger. The denial. All of it was flooding back and she wanted to do nothing more than run out the door and back into Santana’s arms.

But she couldn’t do that. She had to face this. 

She took in a shaky breath and blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. She moved her gaze from the rug and to her fathers. Her eyes moved back and forth between the two, but she avoided direct eye contact.

“When you left, Finn and I decided to have dinner here. I didn’t really feel like going out.”

“After your panic attack?” Hiram questioned.

“That was part of it. I guess part of it was from earlier.”

“What happened earlier, sweetheart?” Leroy added.

“When we were leaving Glee club earlier, we had a bit of an argument,” Before either of her fathers could interject, she continued on. “He was mad because he thought that Santana was singing a song to me that may have alluded to ulterior romantic motives.”

“Santana? The same girl from that party?”

Rachel nodded as her eyes bounced back to her dad. She had told them what had happened at the party, as well as her not so platonic feelings for Santana, but she did not go into extreme detail. The last thing she needed was a lecture from her fathers about how they were right on the whole marriage thing.

I guess right now she’s going to hear it anyways. And at this point, she didn’t have any energy to fight them on it. They were right after all.

She shook those thoughts away and continued.

“She had sung me a song in Glee, ‘Make You Feel my Love’ to be exact. Finn got really angry about it. He started bringing up the party and I just got tired of the whole jealousy game. I think it was one of the triggers for my panic attack.”

“Was he right to be jealous? Do you still share those feelings for Santana?”

“I would be lying to you if I said no,” Rachel saw her dad open his mouth to speak but she cut him off. “And before you ask, yes that was where I was last night and that is who dropped me off this morning.”

“How did you end up there honey? I know you were shaken up, but what happened during dinner that made you do upset.”

Rachel didn’t know if she could blame the entirety of her decision on dinner. It had been a swirling cycle of chaos ever since she said the word ‘yes’ to Finn on the auditorium stage. Once that ring was slipped on her finger, she instantly regretted it. Once that ring indented her skin, it started pushing away her dreams and the future she had planned out for herself. With that ring on her finger, she was no longer Rachel Berry. She was Rachel Hudson. Santana or not, she couldn’t force herself to live that life. To be the Lima house wife who lived the rest of her years in regret of what she could have had. Even if she did manage to bring Finn to New York, he would only weight her down. He would be miserable, and even though Rachel hated him at times, she couldn’t make Finn live like that. It wasn’t fair to either of them.

So, sitting across from him at the dinner table, watching as he ate his meal, she realized that it was time to let him go. It was time for them to both be happy. Senior year right? That was all it was ever meant to be. A small fling before they both headed off to chase their dreams. No anchors. No regrets.

Now here she sits, full of regret. The indentation of her engagement ring still slightly imbedded in her finger. This wasn’t supposed to be her life. Her life was meant to be simple. So when did it get so complicated?

Rachel finally met her daddy’s gaze and then shifted to her dad’s. She was going to be straight forward and simple. No more tears. She had cried her share last night. She took a small breath and answered.

“I realized I didn’t love him anymore,” She paused. “I didn’t love him and it wasn’t fair to drag him along.”

“I am assuming that is why there is no longer a ring on your finger?” Hiram questioned.

Rachel silently nodded.

“See honey, I told you that-”

“Can we just save the lecture on the whole marriage thing. I think I have already learned my lesson,” Rachel interrupted.

The three sat in silence. The only sounds that interrupted were restless movement and the regular shifting of the house. The air was tense, but not as tense as it was before. Rachel was talking about this. Something she should have done yesterday with Santana. Instead, her mind wanted to forget and move past it as of nothing was wrong. Sitting here now, she realized it wasn’t smart. She also realized that Santana was right when she said she should wait until the metaphorical storm had cleared. Rachel knew she would have to have a talk with Santana about that date later.

Hiram cleared his throat urging someone to speak to fill the silence. Silence was rare in the Berry house. It was usually filled with witty banter or show tunes. The silence was deafening.

Leroy took his husband’s hint and decided to tell Rachel some news that she was most likely not going to be happy for.

“Sweetheart, know that we understand your decision and we are not trying to change the current situation.”

Rachel’s eyebrows furrowed, clearly confused at what her daddy was getting at.

“We talked to Carol and Burt and they believe that you and Finn should have another talk.”

Rachel’s face began to flush with anger. The last thing she needed was to reencounter the wounds that were made the night before. And worse, Carol and Burt didn’t think she could make a decision as an adult. Apparently, neither did her fathers.

“And what do you two think about this?”

They both paused, knowing Rachel wouldn’t like their answer. Hiram decided it was best that he broke the news, “He is coming over this afternoon so he can get his things and you can talk.”

“Dad, we’re not pandas! You can put us in a room and expect us to get back together,” Rachel shouted.

“That is not what I am getting at. I don’t expect you to get back together, but I think you two need to have a serious discussion about this. This isn’t a normal break up Rachel, you two were going to get married,” Hiram paused. “I think in the heat of the moment, a lot of horrible things were said that shouldn’t have been said. I think you both owe it to yourselves to get closure from this. You may think you’re fine baby girl, but I know you’re not. And this isn’t something you can just sweep under the rug. It is going to take time to deal with it and it is going to take time for your heart to heal.”

“How long will it take to heal?” Rachel asked in a quiet voice. Her gaze now fixed back on the rug.

“Your heart? That’s up to you,” Hiram paused. “Baby girl, look at me.”

Rachel slowly lifted her head and met Hiram’s gaze. His eyes were soft and understanding.

“Santana will wait for you sweetheart. I know she will.”

“How do you know?”

“Because anyone who truly loved you would never let you go. She’ll wait. To be honest, I think she has been waiting for awhile. She will have no trouble waiting a few weeks or a few months.”

“What about a few days?”

“I think that’s a little soon kiddo,” Leroy added as he gave her a small smile.

“Why don’t you go freshen up and we will let you know when Finn gets here.”

Rachel only nodded, the familiar pain returning at the mention of his name. She stood up from the love seat, placing a kiss on both of her fathers’ cheeks, before padding her way up the steps and into her room.

Santana pulled to a slow stop before she cut the engine. She sat there and took a deep inhale before releasing it slowly. The doubt and the guilt were making their way back into her mind. She had tried to fight it off this morning, tried to ignore it, but now it was all rushing back to her.

This morning was a dream come true. To be able to wake up to Rachel’s smiling face. To have a quiet breakfast where even though conversation flowed, the quiet moments were equally as cherished. It was something that Santana had dreamed of ever since the beginning of senior year. Well, if she was honest with herself, maybe even sophomore year.

She rested her head on the head rest before letting her eyes close. She needed this. Silence. Even if it was only for a few minutes. Her thoughts had been running wild since yesterday and she just needed them to stop. If only for a moment.

She was startled when she heard a soft knocking on her window. Her eyes shot open and she turned to see Puck standing by her driver’s side door. He motioned for her to wind down the window so that the two could talk.

“What is it Puckerman?”

“Well, you are the one sitting outside of my house. So, are you coming in or are you just going to continue to freak out my neighbours?”

Santana looked away from Puck to scan the surrounding houses. Her eyes landed on Mrs. Ferguson who sat perched on her rocking chair. She watched Santana with judgemental eyes that forced Santana to look away. Ever since that time Santana had gotten drunk and threw up in her flower bed, the woman always hated her and watched her every move. She shivered knowing she was still being watched by the woman’s beady eyes.

“So are you coming in?” Puck asked again.

“Yeah,” she paused. “Can I just have a minute?”

“Do you want me to make some coffee?”

“Do you happen to have any beer on you?”

Puck smiled before reaching his hand through the window to lightly pat her shoulder. He wordlessly nodded and left the raven haired girl alone once more.

Santana watched as he disappeared behind the door and into his house. She didn’t know why she came here of all places. I mean, this was Puck. The only time he ever truly gave a damn about feelings or truly cared about a girl was when he was with Quinn. But maybe that’s why she was here. She was here because Puck was so much like her. Feelings were never talked about and problems were always brushed under the mat. Emotions were too much. I mean, they were badasses, right? But the thing is, that all changed whenever someone special entered their lives. Usually they would boast about how many girls they got at the latest party, but when a special girl walked into their lives, they would sit and have a beer. They would drink their beers and try their best to work through their emotions. For Puck, that special girl was Quinn. And for Santana, right now, that special girl was Rachel.

Santana sat in her SUV for a few more minutes before taking a deep breath and getting out of the car. As she walked towards Puck’s house, she turned and gave a wave to Mrs. Ferguson and gave her a fake smile before turning around again.

When she entered the kitchen, Puck had four beers sitting on the table. One of which was already grasped in his hand and half empty.

“You already started without me?” Santana fake scoffed.

“You were taking too long.”

“I was in the car for like 3 minutes.”

“Exactly, too long.”

The two smiled before laughing. Santana took a seat across from Puck at the small kitchen table. She grabbed one of the beers in front of her and used the bottle opener to pop off the cap. She took a generous sip before placing the bottle back on the table.

“So considering that you asked for beer, I am going to assume that this has something to do with Rachel.”

“Can we just sit for a few minutes before we get into the serious stuff? I need time to catch up,” Santana asked, waving the beer in her hand for emphasis.

She took a few more greedy sips, draining a little more than half a bottle. She placed it back down on the table, but continued to stare at it. She nervously picked at the label before she made an attempt to speak.

“Where’s your mom?”

“Out. Sunday brunch.”

Santana knew that this gave them all afternoon to talk. She hated having limited time when she had serious things to deal with.

“So, Rachel eh?” Puck questioned, taking a sip from his beer.

“Always is these days.”

“Any particular reason you showed up at my door today? I mean, I have my ideas after I talked to Finn, but I want to hear what you have to say.”

Even after all this time, Santana still forgets that Puck and Finn are still close. It never really seems like it, but she guessed that is how people viewed her friendship with Quinn. It may not always be displayed, but the friendships are there. She suddenly started to regret coming here. She knew she should have headed to Brittany’s.

“What do you want to hear?”

“I want to hear that you decided to not be yourself and that you didn’t sleep with Rachel yesterday.”

“This, really? Coming from you?”

“So you did sleep with her?”

“I did not sleep with her. Not that that is any of your business.”

The two had barely made it through the thick of the conversation and they both had already finished a full beer. Puck eyed the beers and then met Santana’s gaze. It was a silent agreement as Puck walked over to the fridge and grabbed four more out and placed them on the table. He used to bottle opener to open two fresh bottles before placing one in front of himself and the other in front of Santana.

“So, what happened yesterday? Actually, what happened today? Because I know for a fact Rachel didn’t go home last night.”

“What are you stalking her now?”

“I am not stalking her. I am protecting her. She’s like a little sister to me. She’s like family. And I don’t care how close I am to you or how close I am to Finn, Rachel is first priority,” He paused to take a sip of his beer before getting a worried look on his face. “Just don’t tell her I said that okay?”

Santana silently nodded. Her lips fought the smile that threatened to break at Puck’s admission. She knew he and Rachel were close, but it was always adorable to see him really admit it. The boy who used to throw slushies in her face was now willing to take 100 slushies for the tiny brunette. Puck truly was a big softy. He was also extremely loyal. Now she remembered why she came here.

“It was raining pretty hard yesterday. I had just woken up from a nap when I heard a knocking on the door. I opened it up and Rachel was standing there cold and shivering. She was bawling her eyes out and the only thing I could think to do was wrap my arms around her. I didn’t know what to do or what to say, so I just held her. I held her hoping I could somehow protect her from the hurt.”

After that confession, she took another greedy sip from her beer. She had talked about feelings with Puck before, but they were never like this. This was on another level. On one hand she was glad this was happening. However, she was scared shitless.

Puck nodded as he listened to the raven-haired girl. He was completely understanding of how Santana was feeling. There were many nights where all he could do was hold Quinn in his arms and hope it was enough to make all the hurt go away.

Truth be told, if he had to choose between Finn and Santana to take care of Rachel, he would choose Santana in a heartbeat. Finn may be his bro, but he couldn’t care for his Jewish princess like the Latina could.

“Then what happened?” Puck questioned.

“I drew her a bath, and no I did not join her before you get any pervy ideas,” Puck smiled. “We sat on the couch and she asked if she could stay the night and I said okay. Whatever happened, I wanted to protect her even if it was just for the night. I didn’t know if Finn was still at her house or not, and her dads were out,” Santana paused. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

“So she stayed the night and you expect me to think nothing happened?”

“Nothing did happen ass hat. We didn’t even sleep on the same couch. I knew the wounds were still fresh and I wasn’t going to jump on her after she broke up with her fiancé.”

Puck nodded, taking a sip of his beer as he let the information sink in. He was torn about what he was supposed to do in this situation. At the end of the day, he had to think about what was best for Rachel, and right now, it was Santana. After Finn and Rachel’s argument, Finn had come over to vent and play Call of Duty. The way he tore down Rachel made his stomach drop. The way he tore down Santana only added to his anger. He knew Finn was hurt, but tearing other people down was not the way to bring yourself back up. Especially the people you love.

Puck took another sip before speaking again.

“Anything else happen?”

Santana paused, “Promise you won’t kill me?”

“You told me you didn’t sleep with her?” Puck responded a little sternly.

“I didn’t sleep with her,” Santana paused, her eyes looking at everything but Puck. “I may have agreed to go on a date with her.”

“When?”

“Tomorrow...” Santana said as her gaze became fixed on the table.

“Don’t you think that is a little soon? I mean, I know you like the girl, but come on Lopez. She just took the ring off yesterday.”

“I know and that is partially why I am here. I regret saying yes,” Santana could see the way Puck looking at her, so she decided to keep talking to save herself. “I don’t regret saying ‘yes,’ I just regret agreeing to a date so soon. I told her she should wait and she told me she was ready. And I said yes. I ignored my head and listened with my heart. I saw the opportunity to be with her and I took it.”

“And now you’re sitting here with me regretting everything and feeling guilty?”

“Kind of,” Santana gave a small smile.

“Well, if you want my honest opinion, I don’t think I am the person you should be talking to.”

“You think I should be talking to Rachel?”

Puck gave her a look that gave her his answer. She nodded before going back to picking at the label on her bottle of beer.

“Why don’t you go back over there and talk it out with her.”

“One: you didn’t see the way her dad looked at me through the curtain. I am pretty sure they hate me. Two: I have had almost 3 beers and probably shouldn’t be driving. And three: I wouldn’t know what to say. I don’t want to hurt her. She has already hurt enough.”

“Then leave your car here and walk home. I think you both need a break from all this. So put down that beer,” Puck grabbed the beer bottle from Santana’s hands, “and go home Lopez.”

Puck smirked at the girl and Santana returned it. She started standing up and Puck followed her movements. He walked with her to the back door, as it was easier to get to her house through the back alley. She opened the door wordlessly before she started to walk out. Before she even reached the steps, she turned around and ran into Puck’s arms. He tensed for a moment before he wrapped his arms tightly around Santana.

“Thanks for the advice Puckerman. You’re a good friend,” Santana said, her words muffled by his chest.

“Lesbro. I am a good lesbro,” Santana didn’t even have to look to know he was smirking.

She pulled out of the embrace and gave him one last smile before heading through the back fence towards home.

Rachel wiped at the mirror to peer at her reflection. Her body was still damp from the shower she had just taken and her hair was only toweled dried. Her clothes stuck to the moisture that still coated her skin. She took her fathers’ advice and decided to have another shower. She let the hot water wash over joints and muscles in attempt to let go of all her worry.

It didn’t really work.

The feeling in her chest still resided there and it didn’t help knowing Finn was on his way. What was she to do? What was she to say? She really didn’t think this far ahead. She didn’t really think about seeing Finn after the argument. At the time, all she thought about was seeing Santana. Now she was only moments away from him walking through the door.

She ran a brush through her long, dark locks before she heard a soft knocking at her bedroom door.

“C-come in,” she stuttered.

Hiram opened the door slowly making sure his daughter was decent.

“You have a visitor honey.”

Rachel gave a wordless nod not having to ask who her visitor was. As she placed the brush back on the bathroom counter, she turned to see Finn walking in with a folded cardboard box-Rachel assuming this was to collect his things that were left in her room.

“I’ll leave you two to it,” Hiram stated before he began to walk out. He quickly stopped his motion and poked his head back into the room. “One favour I ask, try not to break anything.”

Hiram gave a weak smile towards Rachel, a silent good luck to the girl. Rachel returned it, but she found it to be extremely difficult due to the circumstances. Hiram gave a nod before leaving and closing the door quietly behind him.

The silence was heavy as both Finn and Rachel tried to look at everything but each other. The words and the actions of yesterday were still hanging over their heads, both realizing their regrets and mistakes with one another. Simultaneously they were thinking this was a bad idea, but they knew they needed to talk.

Rachel made the first attempt to speak. She raised her head to look at the boy who still had his eyes downcast, staring at the carpet.

“Hi,” she muttered weakly.

Finn raised his head slowly before meeting Rachel’s gaze.

“H-hi Rach,” he stuttered.

Looking at his eyes now, she could see how swollen and red they were. She knew he had been crying. The thought made her stomach drop and the pain in her chest return. Finn was always one to hide his emotions, or he just got angry. It was rare to see him cry in front of her. To know that he was so upset made her feel even guiltier. But in the back of her mind, she knew she did the right thing. No matter how hard she tried, she wouldn’t love him like he needed her to love him.

“I...uh...came to get my stuff,” Finn stated a little more surely as he held up the box to prove his point.

He didn’t wait for Rachel to respond as he folded open the box and began pacing the room looking for his things. She saw him open the top draw and take the few clothes that were left at her house and put them into the box. She saw him grab some of the movies that he had brought over that were now sitting on her shelf. She never really liked those movies anyways. They were always about war, guns and violence. She did manage to get him to watch Funny Girl a few times but he always complained.

When he went to grab a picture of the two of them, he paused as he picked up the frame. Rachel watched as he eyed he picture for lengthy minutes. She could see his face shift, trying to hold back his tears, before he put the photo back face down.

“Are you going to actually talk to me or are you just going to get your things and go?”

”That was the plan, Rachel.”

“Are you going to say anything?” Rachel said a little more angrily.

Finn put the box down on her desk before turning around to face Rachel.

“What do you want me to say Rachel?”Finn almost shouted.

“I want you to say you hate me. I want you to get angry or sad or something. I want to know what is going on with you. I want to know how you’re feeling.”

Finn’s jaw clenched as his anger was threatening to boil over. He took a deep breath before turning back to the box. He looked at the box and could only think of how everything was changing and he was even more lost than he was before.

“You want to know how I feel Rach?”

Rachel nodded even though his back was still turned to her. Finn took a moment before turning around again to meet Rachel.

“I’m hurt Rach. I’m hurt and I’m lost and I don’t know what to do,” Rachel saw a single tear roll down his cheek. “I have this pain in my chest knowing that no matter what I do, I can never make you love me. And it sucks. It sucks so much because I love you Rachel, but It’ll never be enough.”

“It might not be enough for me, but it will be enough for someone else.”

“I don’t want anyone else Rachel. I want you.”

Finn’s eyes were glazed over with tears and Rachel could feel a few of her own freely rolling down her cheeks. She wished she could love him like he loved her, but she couldn’t. Life would be so much easier if she could but she can’t lie to herself anymore.

“I-I can’t...”

“I know Rachel. I was there yesterday.”

Silence filled the room once more as Finn continued to fill the box up with his things. Rachel was fighting to find the right words to say but they seemed to get lost whenever she opened her mouth. So she closed it and continued to watch Finn walk around the room, packing their life in a single box.

Finn placed the box on Rachel’s bed before he decided to break the silence.

“Listen, I talked to Burt and Carol and,” Finn paused as he looked up at Rachel. “I’m going to get away for a little while.”

“What do you mean get away?”

“We both need time Rach and we can’t get it if every time I look up your standing there.”

Rachel nodded understanding, “So w-where are you going to go?”

“I am going to take a week to get away,” Finn paused and looked away. “Burt and Carol are going to come with me to Fort Benning Georgia. We are going to look at the base there and-”

“Wait a minute, you’re joining the army?” Rachel interrupted.

“Rachel I-”

“Are you crazy?” Tears were rolling down Rachel’s cheeks. She may not have loved him romantically, but the last thing she wanted for him was to join the army.

“Rachel, when you gave your ring back yesterday, I did a lot of thinking. I realized that I didn’t want to go to New York. I didn’t want to be an actor. I didn’t want to work at Burt’s tire store. I didn’t want any of that. I went home and looked at the booklets for the army and I realized that is what was right for me,” Finn paused and looked back at Rachel. “That’s my dream.”

“No Finn, you can’t.”

“Look Rach, you told me to let you go and I am trying to do that. I am doing that because you deserve so much more and I can’t give it to you. Your dream is to go off the New York and to be a Broadway star. New York’s not for me. The army is. I want a chance to follow in my father’s footsteps. I want to really be a man for once in my life and that army is going to do that for me.”

“You really think the army is going to do all that for you?” Rachel questioned as tears rolled down her face.

“The army is going to give me a chance to change that I can’t get from going to college or moving to another state. This is my dream Rachel and I want you to respect that.”

Rachel nodded as she looked down at the carpet. She brought up her hand to furiously wipe away the tears that were falling. She didn’t love him, but at the end of the day, he was her best friend. He was her first true friend at McKinley and the last thing she wanted to see was him getting hurt or killed. The thought made the tears fall faster.

She could still hear Finn grabbing a few things off the shelf before she heard him taping up the box. She looked up to see Finn closing the last flap and taping it down.

“What does this mean for us?” Rachel questioned.

“It means I’m going away for a week, so whatever you need to do, try and figure it out before I get back.”

“You mean things with-”

“Yeah. Things with her.” Finn muttered not being able to meet Rachel’s gaze.

Rachel just silently nodded and decided not to bring Santana back up. She knew it was still hard for him and the wounds were still fresh. She was just happy they were really talking about this.

“What about when you get back?”

“For us, maybe we can try being friends? It’s going to take awhile, but I would like to be at least that,” Rachel nodded. “As for everything else, can you just not flaunt it in front of me? It already hurts enough and I don’t know if I am ready to see you be with anyone else. Especially her.”

Rachel nodded once more, understanding but not really knowing what else to say. Finn nodded and picked up the box that was previously set on the bed.

“Well, I’m going to go...I’ll see you around I guess.”

Before Finn could make it to the door, Rachel grabbed his arm.

“Wait.”

Before Finn could blink, Rachel had placed the box on the ground and wrapped her arms around his torso. He tensed, unsure of what he should do, before he lightly wrapped his arms around the petite girl.

“Just don’t be a stranger, okay?”

“I’ll try. I just need to be a stranger for a little while. I need time.”

Rachel nodded against his chest before letting him go. He bent down and picked up the box once more before opening the door to Rachel’s room.

“I’ll see you around Rach.”

Rachel nodded, a fresh set of tears rolling down her cheeks. Finn gave her a small smile and she gave her best attempt to return it. Finn finally walked out and closed the door behind him. When she heard his heavy steps walk down the stairs, she sank to the floor and let out all of her tears.

The clock had turned to 2 am and Rachel sat wide away in her bed. Her tears had stopped hours ago but she couldn’t fall asleep. Her tired and swollen eyes burned with every blink but she couldn’t force them to close. Her mind was still racing, not as much as it was before, but it was now filled with new thoughts and questions. It was filled with thoughts of Finn in the army. What would happen to him? It was filled with thoughts of Santana. What was she going to tell her? What were they? Her mind raced and the only way she thought she would quiet some of her questions was if she went to talk to Santana.

Her fathers had gone to bed hours ago. Thankfully they were both heavy sleepers, so when she made her way past their room and down the stairs, she didn’t disturb them. She decided this time she would leave a detailed note of where she was going and when she might be back. She placed the letter on the front foyer table and grabbed her car keys. As she pulled out of the driveway in her Prius, she made sure the headlights were off so they didn’t shine into her fathers’ bedroom window. She put her car in gear and sped off into the night.

Santana moved sluggishly towards the front door. She had been brought out of her heavy sleep at the repeated sound of her doorbell going off. She forced herself out of her bed and towards the large front door, thankful that both of her parents were working that night.

She opened the door to see the tiny brunette standing there.

“Hi,” Rachel said softly.

“Hey,” Santana’s voice cracked from exhaustion.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I probably woke you up and...Oh my god, are your parents home?” Rachel looked slightly panicked.

“No they’re not. They are on the late shift again. Is everything okay?”

“If you want my honest answer...no.”

“Do you want to come in?”

Rachel nodded silently and Santana moved so the petit brunette could pass through the doorway. Santana closed the large door and ushered Rachel into the family room. The both sat down on the couch but put a few feet of space between them. They silently agreed that this was the time they should talk and space was needed for that.

“Finn came over today.”

“How did that go?” Santana asked, slightly nervous on the outcome of that conversation.

“It went,” Rachel let out an airy chuckle but Santana knew it was probably so she didn’t start to tear up. “He’s going into the army, you know?”

Santana nodded not knowing what to say. She decided she was going to sit and listen to what Rachel had to say. It always worked out better that way. Feelings weren’t easy for her. Flirting? Sure, no problem. But this was getting way deeper than that. It scared Santana but it also excited her.

“I really don’t know what to think about it. I’m scared of what’s going to happen to him.”

“I understand that Rachel.”

“He is leaving for a week to go with Burt and Carol to Fort Benning Georgia.”

“I’m guessing he is going to check out the base out there.”

It was Rachel’s turn to nod silently, afraid her voice might betray her. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly to calm herself.

“He told me to figure out my life. More so figure out what I want between us while he is gone.”

“What do you want to happen between us?”

Rachel paused before meeting the Latina’s gaze, “I want to be with you. But I think it’s-”

“Too soon,” Santana gave a small smile. Rachel nodded. “I agree Rachel. Do I want us to be together, obviously,” Rachel smiled, “But it’s not going to happen in a week. I think we all need time. But just so you know, I’ll be waiting for you, okay? I will wait until you are ready for us to happen. It’s your call.”

“Thank you,” Rachel smiled.

“Just so you know, I am not going to stop wooing you,” Rachel chuckled. “Just because you’re not my girlfriend doesn’t mean I am not going to try for us. But, you know, it might be nice to be wooed back,” Santana smiled.

“What do you mean ‘be wooed back?’” Rachel chuckled.

“You’re not the only one who wants a song every now and then. Maybe I want to feel the love,” Santana smirked.

“I guess I’ll just have to show you my A-game,” Rachel smirked.

“I can’t wait,” Santana smiled.

They both laughed before Santana reached over and grabbed Rachel’s hand and intertwined their fingers.

“You’ll be okay Rachel.”

Rachel squeezed back, “We’ll be okay.”

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Day 1: Your Smile

Santana was sitting in the back of her math class, mindlessly drawing on the corner of her page. Her eyes would glance at the clock hung on the wall, willing the minutes to pass in quick recession. The idea of seeing Rachel again was far too tempting. It had only been a few hours since the diva had shown up at her house, and yet, she couldn’t ignore the flutter in her stomach at the idea of seeing her again.

After she had left Puck’s late that Sunday afternoon, she walked home to her typically empty house. There were remnants that her parents had been home, as dinner was place in the oven ready to be eaten and a letter of apology for being out again was scribbled in her father’s chicken scratch. The idea of being alone once again did not settle well for her. Right now, she would love to have any sort of distraction to take her mind off of Rachel. But all she had was isolation and her dizzying thoughts.

She poured herself a glass of water, her mouth dried from the alcohol. She placed the empty glass in the sink and went to her room to take a long shower, hoping the excessive heat and steam would cloud her thoughts if only for a moment.

She closed the bathroom door with a soft click before looking at herself in the mirror. Her makeup was smeared slightly from rubbing her eyes in frustration. Her eyes slightly red from the few beers she had consumed with Puck. She was reminded of her time with the boy as the bitter taste of the beer remained on her tongue. She quickly reached for her toothbrush to brush away the taste when she saw it.

Rachel’s toothbrush with a small note attached to it.

She slowly grabbed the piece of folded paper off the toothbrush holder and opened it up to see the note Rachel had written inside.

_Thank you for letting me stay the night. I could never thank you enough._

_-Rachel_

_P.S You’re really cute when you sleep :p_

Santana smiled as her mind went back to their perfect morning. It was hard to believe that only a few hours ago, Santana was waking up to Rachel’s smiling face and a steaming cup of coffee. It seemed like that memory happen days or even weeks ago.

Santana quickly tucked the note in the drawer before grabbing her toothbrush and brushing her teeth.

She quickly turned on the shower, putting it at the warmest temperature she could stand without being scalded. She let the water roll over her skin and let it redden her caramel colour. Even with the high temperatures and the excessive amount of steam, her mind could not drift far from Rachel. She stood there under the warm stream and all she could think about was the bubbly brunette and their possible future.

The worry and the dread of what was to come invaded her thoughts. The countless questions filled her mind with incredible doubt.

_Did she really like me? Is she going to go back to Finn? Will I ever be enough for her? Will I ever be able to give her everything she needs?_

Her sureness was washed away down the drain and full doubt made its presence known. The doubt and her fear that she had had from the very beginning. The fear and the idea that the very straight brunette would be walking off into the sunset with her quarterback boyfriend.  She would walk away and leave Santana behind.

That thought killed her more than anything.

And now, that thought could very well become the reality. Puck had texted her awhile ago letting her know that Finn was heading over to talk with Rachel. Puck tried to be encouraging, saying that Finnocence was just getting his stuff and leaving, but it did anything but comfort the Latina. Santana knew that even though the boy was incredibly dumb, he had a way of manipulating people. People like Rachel. Santana had watched for years as Rachel fell for his boyhood charm and goofy smile. The way he would twist her words around, or the way he would alter her thoughts.

To say Santana was worried was an understatement.

When the water began to run cold, the Latina turned it off and stepped out of the shower. She wrapped a towel around her body to shield her from the chilled temperature of her bedroom. When she completely dried off, she reached for the closest pair of pyjamas to slip on. When she finally pulled the t-shirt over her head, her mind was invaded with the smell that was distinctly Rachel. When she looked down, she realized this was the outfit that she had loaned the diva that morning.

She quickly pulled off the t-shirt and shorts and tossed them across the room, trying to get as far away from the thought of Rachel as possible. She walked to her vanity and pulled out a fresh t-shirt and a fresh pair of cotton shorts.

She walked over to the large T.V that was in her room, too tired to go downstairs, and put in a disk of Sweet Valley High. When the show began, she slowly made her way to her bed and hid under the covers, willing her thoughts to disappear.

She was awoken by the constant knocking and ringing from her front door. Looking at the clock, she realized it was quite late. The T.V was now on the title screen, the show being done for hours now.

Santana slowly pulled herself from her bed and wiped away the sleep from her eyes. She slowly stretched her muscles and made her way downstairs towards the constant noise.

“I’m coming, Jesus Christ,” she mumbled, slightly annoyed from being woken up.

Her feeling of annoyance faded as she saw Rachel berry standing in front of her.

“Hi,” the small brunette said softly.

“Hey,” Santana voice cracked in exhaustion. Santana wanted to burrow herself into the ground to hide from embarrassment.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I probably woke you up and...Oh my god, are your parents home?”

Santana could see the panicked look in Rachel’s eyes. She had to bite the corner of her lip to stop herself from smiling and to stifle a laugh. Sure she was sleeping, but she didn’t mind being surprised by the diva.

To save the petit girl, she quickly spoke to save her, “No they’re not. Is everything okay?”

“If you want my honest answer,” Rachel paused, “no.”

“Do you want to come in?”

Santana watched as Rachel slowly made her way past her and towards the family room. She could feel her chest drop at the notion that Rachel was not okay. Did Finn hurt her? Were they getting back together? Did Rachel come here to end things?

Either way, Santana found herself following the diva and sitting next her on the large couch. They both put some distance between them, knowing that was for the best at this moment.

“Finn came over today.”

That wasn’t new news to Santana, but she knew the diva didn’t know that, so she kept her mouth shut.

“How did that go?” Santana’s voice came out slightly nervous.

“It went,” Santana heard the empty chuckle and wanted nothing more than to reach over and pull Rachel into an embrace, but she stayed where she was. She was there to listen.

“He’s going into the army, you know?” Santana nodded. She didn’t know he was going, she had heard him talking about it, but didn’t know for sure. She decided to keep her jokes and comments to herself and just let herself listen. She had to get used to all of this; feelings. It was a foreign subject for her, but she would brave it for Rachel.

“I really don’t know what to think about it. I’m scared of what’s going to happen to him.”

“I understand that Rachel.”

“He is leaving for a week to go with Burt and Carol to Fort Benning, Georgia.”

“I’m guessing he is going to go check out the base there.”

Santana watched as Rachel silently nodded. She could tell that this new information was a lot to take in for the small girl. It was a lot of information and Santana wanted to be there to support her; if Rachel still wanted that.

“He told me to figure out my life. More so figure out what I want between us while he is gone.”

“What do you want to happen between us?”

This was it. This was the question that held so many possibilities as well as so much insecurity for the Latina. The answer to this would either crush her or lift her spirits. This answer would decide whether Rachel really wanted her or if she was just going to run back into Finn’s arms.

After a moment, Rachel answered, “I want to be with you. But I think it’s-”

“Too soon,” Santana smiled. She knew it was too soon for either of them to jump into a relationship, but Rachel’s confession told her that she did in fact want to be with her and not Finn. She just needed time and Santana was more than willing to give that. “I agree Rachel. Do I want us to be together? Obviously, but it’s not going to happen in a week. I think we all need time. But just so you know, I’ll be waiting for you, okay? I will wait until you are ready for this to happen. It’s your call.”

“Thank you,” she saw Rachel smile.

“Just so you know, I am not going to stop wooing you,” she heard Rachel chuckle and could think of no better sound. “Just because you’re not my girlfriend doesn’t mean I am not going to try for us. But, you know, it might be kind of nice to be wooed back.” Santana could feel herself smiling.

“What do you mean ‘be wooed back?’” Rachel chuckled again.

“You’re not the only one who wants a song every now and then. Maybe I want to feel the love,” Santana smirked.

“I guess I’ll just have to bring my A-game,” Rachel smirked and Santana laughed at the reference to that morning.

“I can’t wait,” Santana smiled.

Santana slowly reached her hand over and grabbed Rachel’s, intertwining their fingers.

“You’ll be okay, Rachel.”

“We’ll be okay,” Santana could feel Rachel squeeze back and knew that they would be.

The bell ringing brought Santana out of her daydream. She quickly gathered her books and started heading towards her locker. It was Monday, so it was a Glee day. Santana couldn’t be happier about that because it meant that she got to see Rachel. More importantly, she most likely got to hear her sing.

She walked up to her locker and entered her combination before opening it. She was about to depose of her books before quickly running to Glee club, when a piece of paper with gold stars all over it caught her attention.

It had to be from Rachel.

She carefully put her books in the locker before she quickly grabbed the note and opened it up.

_Dear Santana,_

_You have expressed your interest in wanting to be wooed, so here is my attempt. Of course there is a song planned in your near future, but I wanted to go a little above and beyond. I am an overachiever as you should know._

_Every day this week, I plan to give you a letter. Each letter will contain something that I like or love about you. The little things that made me fall “head over heels,” as they say. It may be something small or something completely random, but they are all things that managed to make you stand out and managed to hold a place in my heart._

_So here we go. Day 1: Your smile._

_Now I know you’re thinking, how does a smile make me fall in love? And it’s not so much your smile as it is “ **the** smile.”When you’re not smirking or giving your fake smile, it’s the real one that makes my heart flutter. The one where you can tell how truly happy you are; the one that shows the true Santana. The one that shows the Santana who isn’t worried about labels or popularity, but is only worried about the moment and how happy you are._

_And it’s not often than this smile comes out, maybe during those few solos you earned during Glee throughout the years. But when I see it, there is something so magical about it. It’s like finding a unicorn really._

_However, during this year, I started to see the smile more. Not only did I see it more, but every time I saw it, it was always aimed at me._

_It’s that smile that you do when you’re so happy that your nose scrunches up, rather cutely I may add, and your eyes close to slits because you are smiling so big. You look so happy. That you could be told the worse news in the world and you wouldn’t be able to find a care in the world. You would just continue to smile._

_The first time I really felt the smile is after you came out. It was a smile that showed how happy you were that you were being honest with yourself and everyone. You were finally accepting yourself. You were no longer hiding behind this shell of someone you thought you should be and you were just being you._

_You were being Santana._

_And at the time, there was this pang in my chest; this feeling that I didn’t understand. Now when I look back, I think the feeling was jealousy. Jealousy towards the fact that you were so free and open. That you could disregard everyone’s thoughts and opinions because they didn’t matter anymore. And I suppose I wish I could have that._

_It was during this time when I started feeling things towards you that were not so platonic. But unlike you, I couldn’t be honest. I had Finn and I had a reputation to uphold. And the more I thought about it, the more envious of you I got. Even with your reputation, you found a way to be happy and still keep that HBIC persona._

_But I was just Rachel Berry._

_Without Finn Hudson attached to my arm, I would go back to being a nobody. So I held on to something I never truly wanted, hoping one day that I would love him the way he wanted me to._

_But I couldn’t._

_Then we sang “So Emotional” and I saw that smile again; slitted eyes and scrunched nose. I saw you sing those words to me with that smile plastered on your face. And from that point on, I knew I couldn’t hide anymore. I couldn’t force myself to love Finn, because the truth is, I never would._

_Because I had feeling for you._

_Feelings for you that I knew would erupt into something epic and great. Something out of a Nicholas Sparkes book._

_That smile gave me the courage to open up to you and confess my feelings. And now, my goal is to make sure you never stop smiling like that._

_Yours for as long as you’ll have me,_

_Rachel Berry_

Santana fiercely wiped away at her eyes. She was thankful that the halls had cleared awhile ago, so no one could see the tears that were rapidly streaming down her face. She knew Rachel had feelings for her, but never knew for how long. The words that Rachel had written on the page were so honest and beautiful. Rachel poured a part of her heart out of the page for her and she was never more grateful. She knew she would have to do something special for the girl to thank her.

Santana quickly folded the letter and slipped it into her backpack before closing her locker. She already knew she was a few minutes late for Glee, but she didn’t care. Rachel’s letter was more important.

As she walked into the full room, you could feel the absence of Finn. She felt the small pang of guilt in her chest before it quickly subsided. It was known that Finn was absent for the week and it was known that it had something to do with her and Rachel. However, she ignored the stares and took a seat next to Rachel.

“Hey,” Rachel smiled.

“Hi,” Santana voice cracked from the earlier tears.

Rachel could only sit and smile wider, knowing.

 “Thank you for the letter. It really meant a lot to me.”

Rachel reached her hand up and wiped away a stray tear that Santana had left behind. “You’re welcome,” Rachel beamed.

Santana was about to continue on when Mr. Shue entered the room. He immediately when into a lecture about Nationals, of which had become really repetitive over the last few weeks. The Glee club had yet to pick their set list for Nationals, and with time winding down, they really had to focus.

Mr. Shue was pulling out some Journey sheet music, which the entire club groaned at, before Rachel’s hand shot up beside Santana.

“Mr. Shue, I have a suggestion for Nationals that I would like to demonstrate.”

“Rachel, I love your suggestions, but not right now. This group needs to stay focused if we have any chance of winning Nationals.”

“Mr. Shue while I admire your administrative role and that fact that you are finally focused on set list construction, my song would be a great addition to my solo performance. As well, it would cover the express yourself lesson that occurred a few weeks back.”

Mr. Shue looked like he was ready to argue against Rachel’s suggestion, but with the looks he received from both Rachel and Santana, he quickly shut his mouth and waved Rachel towards the center of the room.

Rachel took her mark in the center of the choir room and turned towards the club.

“Now while this piece demonstrates my new found feelings, I also feel that it would be a great contender for Nationals.”

Rachel smiled before waving the band to begin with the opening melodies. Santana smiled at the familiar song.

_One night to be confused_

_One night to speed up truth_

_We had a promise made_

_Four hands and then away_

_Both under influence_

_We had divine sense_

_To know what to say_

_Mind is a razor blade_

Santana mind went back to the night of the party. The way the influence of alcohol brought out a whole new clarity. It ignited feelings and showed their true colours.

She was reminded of the way Rachel’s lips felt against her own and the way it left them hungry for more.

_To call for hands of above_

_To lean on_

_Wouldn’t be good enough_

_For me, no_

_One night of magic rush_

_The start, a simple touch_

_One night to push and scream_

_And then relief_

The night they both shared a single bed was brought to the forefront of her mind. The way she had to restrain herself from brushing her fingers against Rachel’s olive skin. The kiss had ignited a spark between them, and Santana was going to all she could to keep the embers burning.

She remembered the night Rachel had shown up to her house after her fight with Finn. She remembered the way Rachel felt in her arms. She felt so small and all Santana wanted to do was protect her and to make sure no one could ever hurt her.

_Ten days of perfect tunes_

_The colours, red and blue_

_We had a promise made_

_We were in love_

_To call for hand of above_

_To lean on_

_Wouldn’t be good enough_

_For me, no_

_To call for hand of above_

_To lean on_

_Wouldn’t be good enough_

Once the last note rung out and the band stopped playing, the club cheered for Rachel’s performance. Rachel chanced a look at Santana and could see the girl wiping away at a few silent tears. She couldn’t help the small smile that graced her lips.

Mr. Shue made his way over to Rachel, looking quite ecstatic over her performance.

“Rachel, that was amazing! Definitely a contender for Nationals.”

“Thank you Mr. Shue.”

Rachel made her way back to the seat beside Santana. Her eyes were facing forward, attempting to take in Mr. Shue’s ridiculous musical suggestions, when she felt a hand squeeze her thigh gently and briefly. When she looked up, Santana was looking right at her, eyes still glassed over with tears. Rachel looked down to her lips as the Latina mouthed a silent thank you. Rachel returned the gesture with a mouthed ‘you’re welcome’ and smiled before returning her eyes to the front of the room.

It seemed like a lifetime before Mr. Shue finally let everyone out for the day. Everyone hurried out of the room, which only left Rachel and Santana in the empty choir room.

“I know I said it earlier, but thank you for that.”

“You wanted to be wooed and I wooed you. Simple as that,” Rachel smiled.

“You didn’t have to, Rach. I mean, I am more than happy to keep doing things for you. You didn’t have to do all this; the note and the song. Really, you don’t have to, but thank you.”

“You know, it has come to my attention that you don’t get the princess treatment very often-”

“Really Rachel, the princess treatment?” Santana interrupted.

“Just hear me out, okay?” Rachel paused and waited for Santana to nod before continuing. “I noticed that whenever you are in a relationship, you are always the one taking care of the other person. Puck hardly paid attention to you back then and left you to care for yourself. You have been protecting Brittany since you were 5 years old, and while she seemed sweet, she never really reciprocated. She was there for you, but not the way you needed her to be. And I think you’re so used to taking care of people, you don’t know what to do when someone wants to take care of you.”

Santana couldn’t deny how honest Rachel’s words were. A lot of the time, Santana had to take care of herself or other people, but they never took the time to take care of her. Her parents, though she loved, were absentees a lot of the time because of their jobs. While they would work the graveyard shifts at the hospital, she was left to fend for herself, alone, in their monstrosity of a house.

Puck, though she could hardly call what they had a relationship, never seemed to care for her. His caring side was left for Quinn and Beth. She was more a body to Puck and he was more a beard to her in attempts to deny her true feelings. The boy only truly started to care for her after she came out and it still hadn’t reached the level she so desired for. They were bros; friends. That was it.

Brittany, though she did care for Santana greatly, never took the time to sweep the girl off her feet. She was a big process in helping Santana find herself and admit who she was, but after they got together, a lot of Santana’s efforts were put towards protecting Brittany. A lot of songs she sang, a lot of gifts she bought and a lot of fights she got into were all to help Brittany. And over the course of their relationship, those actions weren’t really returned. And Santana really couldn’t blame anyone because she never really asked for anything in return. But with Rachel it was different.

Over the years, Santana had seen all the things that Rachel had done for Finn or for Jesse. She would sing countless songs or make those couples calendars. And for awhile, Santana thought the songs were annoying during Glee club and the calendars were borderline stalkerish. But the fact was, she was kind of jealous. She wanted someone to sing her songs and give her couples calendars with her face photoshopped onto a picture of a cat.

And now that she looked at the girl in front of her, she realized she could have all of those things. She just had to let herself be open to the idea of being wooed.

“Are you saying you want to be the one to take care of me?” Santana questioned.

“If you’d let me,” Rachel gave a small smile.

“It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to take time to let you all the way in and to be comfortable with all that.”

“It’s a good thing we have 42 days than, isn’t it?

“More like 36,” Santana smiled.


	10. Meet the Berrys

Santana was sitting in the back of her Law class doing her best to stay focused on the teacher. However, as time passed, her attention was lost on the teacher and was now focused on the clock that hung on the wall. She watched the second hand making its rounds languidly. Her pen drummed against her notebook as she willed time to move faster. Her attention was so focussed on the clock-the passing of minutes, the ticking of seconds-that Puck would have to nudge her with his elbow to bring her back to the lesson. And every time he did this, she only managed to pay attention for a few minutes before looking back at the clock.

She watched the second hand pass the 5 for the 40th time before she felt a buzzing in her jacket pocket. She looked up at the teacher until she found her turned towards the board so she could look at her phone.

_Somethin on ur mind Lopez? Berry’s got you whipped-Puckerman_

Santana put her phone back in her pocket before she looked at Puck. The boy’s eyebrow quirked, a trait he and Quinn shared and a trait the Latina found quite annoying, before a shit-eating grin formed on his lips.

Santana ripped a piece of paper out of her notebook before writing a single word on its lined surface. When she found another opportunity, she slid it over to Puck.

_Ass_

The boy let out a small chuckle, forcing some people to turn at the source of the noise, before everyone turned back to focus on the lesson.

Well... everyone except Santana.

Santana’s eyes fell back upon the clock-watching the passing of minutes, the ticking of seconds. She was waiting for the class to be over so she could hurry off to study hall. It was the one class that she shared with Rachel and she couldn’t wait to see the small starlet again.

After yesterday, with the letter and the song, Santana couldn’t wait to read more of Rachel’s heartfelt words. She wanted to know, out of everyone in Lima, why her? What did Santana do to make Rachel fall for her? It was obvious that for most of high school Santana made Rachel’s life a living hell, so how did Rachel find it in herself to move past all of that and find a way to love and accept Santana.

It is something that the Latina would never understand.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t even hear the bell ring. It was only when she felt the sharp pain in her side from Puck’s elbow did she gather her things and head towards the library.

When she arrived, she spotted Rachel sitting at their usual table hidden in the back corner of the library. Rachel was wearing a blue, button-up blouse, a short black skirt and her usual knee-highs and penny loafers. In the past, it would have been an outfit that she insulted. But that was only because she found her style ridiculously adorable.

Santana made her way through the walls of books before sitting in front of Rachel.

“Santana! You scared me,” Rachel’s hand was gripping her heart.

“This is a library ladies. I ask you kindly to be quiet,” the librarian barked from her desk.

Rachel and Santana both let out a small giggle before focussing their attention upon one another once more.

“Well, I didn’t think you would have a heart attack. Next time I’ll sound a bell or something.”

Rachel smiled before looking away bashfully. Santana could feel the flutter in her stomach, but chose to ignore it. Santana Lopez did not get butterflies, even if she totally had them because of Rachel Berry.

“So, complete honesty?” Rachel asked.

“Shoot.”

“How badly did you wish for you last class to end so that you could come here and see me?”

“If I said really badly, would I sound like a dork?”

“Yes, but I promise your secret’s safe with me. I won’t tell anyone that Santana Lopez is the biggest dork I know,” Santana swatted the smaller girl’s arm playfully before letting a chuckle escape from her lips. Her laughter was short lived when she heard the shushing from the librarian.

“To be honest, I find it quite cute,” it was Santana’s turn to look away bashfully.”And if I am being completely honest, I was wishing for my last class to end too.”

Santana gave her a small smile before they both opened their books and started their work. Yes they enjoyed each other’s company, but this was study hall. The point was to study. Well...Rachel studied and Santana pretended to study so the diva couldn’t get mad at her.

Most of her study hall was spent studying Rachel.

Time passed as they shared small talk and helped each other with work. Santana copied Puck’s law notes that she had taken from him earlier so she didn’t fall behind in the class. Rachel spent most of her time working on Biology while simultaneously talking about the upcoming school play.

“West Side Story went off with such a bang earlier in the year, the theatre department wants to put on a spring play. We just need to find the right one.”

“I am assuming you want to put on a musical?”

“Precisely, it is the only way to show off all of my skills in one setting. With Nationals coming up, NYADA scouts will surely be making their rounds looking at the competition. A spring musical really could help my chances at getting an acceptance letter.”

“Well, if you need any help, just let me know,” Santana smiled.

“You could actually help me out.”

“How so?”

“Do you think you could get the Glee Club on board? While they have warmed up to me over the past few years, I feel they are still reluctant with accepting my ideas. I was hoping that since you have so much status, that you could convince them to try out for roles.”

“I’m sure they would go for it without me having to ask, but if you need it, I will help you out.”

“Thank you so much, Santana.”

They both smiled before the bell sounded, signalling for the end of the day. Both girls piled their books into their bags before making their way down the hall towards their lockers. It became routine, at the end of the day, they would stop at Santana’s locker first so the Latina could get her books before heading off to Rachel’s locker.

Santana waited patiently as the diva placed her various notebooks and binders into her bag. Santana knew the girl finished all of her work in study hall, but the girl would always bring home her book for extra studying.

Both Santana and Rachel walked through the, now, vacant parking lot until they reached Rachel’s Prius.

“This is my stop.”

“That it is,” Santana smiled.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Rachel reached into the front pocket of her backpack before pulling out another star covered letter, “your letter of the day.”

“Thank you,” Santana reached out and grabbed the letter, keeping the paper clutched in her left hand.

“I guess I’d better go. I have ballet at 4pm,” Rachel commented.

“Have fun, just don’t hurt yourself.”

“Please, I have been in ballet since I could walk. No need to worry Miss Lopez. But it’s really sweet that you do anyways,” without thinking, Rachel step forward and placed a soft kiss on Santana’s cheek, “I’ll see you later, okay?”

Santana could only nod as she watched Rachel get into her car and watched her pull out of the school parking lot.

Even though a few minutes had past, Santana could feel the warmth of crimson reside in her cheeks. She could still feel the burn of where Rachel’s soft lips touched her skin, her fingers brushing over the spot. She forced herself to drop her hand and walk towards her car before she slid into the driver’s seat. She was about to put the key in the ignition when she felt the weight of the letter that was still clutched in her hand. She was tempted to try and wait, but the curiosity was getting to her. She sat back in her seat and opened the letter and began reading.

_Here we are, day 2. And even though it is day 2, I find that there are so many things that made me fall for you that it is getting increasingly harder to choose which one I want to write about each day. There are constant polls and debates going on within my mind, trying to choose the right word or the right phrase._

_But none of them seem right._

_None of them seem right because I feel that no matter how many words I write, or how many letters, they will never be able to convey the way I feel about you. The only true expression that would display my true feelings would be through touch; my fingers running across your skin, my lips brushing yours._

Santana felt her breath hitch at the thought of Rachel’s fingers running across her bare skin.-brushing over hip bones, running across her spine. How good it would feel to have Rachel’s lips on her own. How it would feel to have Rachel trail kisses down her neck, over her collar bone, trailing down her toned stomach-each kiss strategically placed and each eliciting a new feeling.

Santana tore herself away from her own thoughts and pull her focus back to the letter.

_And I guess that is where the idea for this letter came from. The idea of touch and how many emotions and feelings can be conveyed with just the brush of fingers._

_So here we go. Day 2: Your hands._

_Trust me, I know what you’re thinking. Wherever you are, you are probably holding back laughter while simultaneously thinking, or saying aloud, how ‘wanky’ that sounds._

It was true. A smile spread across Santana’s face at the notion that Rachel knew her so well.

_And before your mind completely falls into the gutter, there is a lot more to what I am saying than sexual innuendoes._

_It is the way that your hands are positioned when you sing. Not when you are placed in the background and singing with the rest of the Glee Club. Not when you are singing a parody song or a light-hearted song, but it is when you truly feel the song you are singing. When you sing Adele, Amy Winehouse, Whitney Huston or another other songs sung by emotional powerhouses, is when you truly see it. When you feel the words and the melodies wash over you. Your eyes close as you force your voice to hit those perfect notes, which you do expertly I might add. You hold your hands up, the exact way each time, as you belt out these emotional ballads. Your hands accentuate each important word or phrase, or they help push you through a lengthy note. And there are so many things to be mesmerized by all at once that you just sit there in awe._

_Completely still._

_Though your hands are such instruments to push through emotional ballads, they are also soft and delicate. You emanate this persona of the ‘Lima Heights badass,’ and yet, your hands fail to meet the title. Long, soft, slender fingers void themselves from your rough exterior that you display._

_I noticed this a few months ago, when we were singing that Fun number. It reminded me of years ago when we all first joined Glee. We forgot about competition and rivalries, and we just sang together. I watched you from across the auditorium as you belted your section so effortlessly. And without evening knowing it, I was completely drawn to you._

_It was strange really. We hardly ever spoke, or when we did, it was hardly ever kind. We never really sang together or even danced near each other in group numbers, but it was like this tether was pulling me towards you._

_And you didn’t back away. You gave me a beaming smile and I couldn’t help but return it with just as much enthusiasm._

_That smile, I tell ya._

_My hand moved on its own accord to reach out and grab yours, and you didn’t hesitate to grab mine and intertwine our fingers. I couldn’t ignore how well our hands fit together. Like my fingers were meant to fit in the spaces between yours. And your hands were so soft and gentle. All I had ever known is the feeling of large, rough hands surrounding my fingers-trapping them. Where my fingers where lost within the spaces in between._

_But with you, it was just right._

_And that’s when I knew. Just like the spaces between our fingers, you were just right for me. I was done trying to force the pieces together; force Finn and I together. There is a feeling when you know something is just right, and that’s what I felt with you._

_You were just right for me._

_Your hands: Reason number 2 why I fell in love with you (among many)._

_For as long as you’ll have me,_

_Rachel Berry_

_P.S. It has occurred to me that you don’t have my phone number, nor do I have yours. So here it is and you can text me your number :)_

_(416) 526-1887_

Santana folded the letter and sat for a moment in awe. Rachel had a gift for taking the simplest of gestures and writing about them in such detail and with so much passion, that you couldn’t help but swoon over her words. Santana had no idea that the simplest touch could elicit so many feelings and emotions.

But she would be lying to herself if she said she didn’t feel them either.

Santana dropped the letter on the passenger seat and put the key in the ignition. She had already been in the parking lot for nearly 20 minutes and she needed to get home.

While she weaved through the various streets and through the multiple traffic lights and street signs, she couldn’t help but feel like she was in a daze. As she was driving, Rachel’s words kept imbedding themselves deeper within her mind. With every letter that Rachel gives her, the same feeling is the result.

Eventually, Santana found herself pulling into her driveway. She quickly grabbed her things from the back seat and entered into her house.

“ _Mija_ , where have you been? Did you have Glee today? I thought school ended half an hour ago?” Santana’s mother questioned.

“It did, I was just talking with Rachel.”

“Ah, say no more,” Santana’s mother winked at her and the Latina could feel her cheeks burning. She was all for her mother being supportive, but being embarrassed by the woman wasn’t the best feeling in the world. She felt like a 14 year old boy who told his mom about his very first crush.

“Anyways, mom, I have to go do homework.”

Santana grabbed her bag and ran up the stairs before her mom could add any more to the conversation. Only when she softly closed the door behind her did she finally release the breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

She dropped her bag by the foot of the bed before sprawling over the large mattress. She pulled out her phone and saved Rachel’s number in her contacts before deciding to text the brunette.

_How is ballet class going?-S_

_I see you read the letter :) How was it? Was it okay? Was it too much? You think I’m weird now don’t you?-R_

Santana couldn’t help but laugh at how adorable Rachel was being.

_The letter was very sweet, thank you :) But if you tell anyone I said that, I might have to go all Lima Heights on you ;)-S_

_I’m shaking in my boots :P And class is going really well. You actually caught me on my break, but I will have to get back soon. Call you when I’m done?-R_

_Sure, no problem. I’ll be waiting :)-S_

Santana put her phone down beside her before her eyes focused on her ceiling. She had managed to do all of her homework in study hall, so she had nothing to serve as a distraction while she waited for Rachel’s call.

As she looked beside her on the bed, she noticed Rachel’s letter that had been creased a few times over from being refolded so many times. As Santana opened the letter and let her fingers run over the printed words, an idea came into her mind. She leaped off her bed and headed over towards her desk. She took out a pen and a few pieces of fresh paper. She placed her pen at the start of the first line on the page.

_Day 1_

Rachel Berry wasn’t the only one who could write letters.

Santana was brought from her writing when her phone started ringing. She jumped slightly before picking it up and reading the caller ID. It was Rachel.

“Hey,” Santana voiced.

“Are you okay? You sound a bit startled.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Your call just caught me off guard.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I can call back-”

“No...I’ve been waiting for you to call.”

Santana could feel her cheeks burning, and even though she couldn’t see it, she knew Rachel was blushing on the other end.

“So is there any reason you wanted to call me, other than the fact that you can’t get enough of me?” Santana questioned through a smirk.

“I guess you can say it’s a little bit of both,” Rachel chuckled. “I was wondering if you had any plans tonight?”

“Is Rachel Berry asking me out on a date?”

“Not exactly,” Rachel paused. “I was wondering if you wanted to join my family for dinner?”

“Okay, we haven’t even been on a date and Rachel Berry is asking me to meet the parents,” Santana chuckled.

“It’s not like that. I just really want them to meet you.”

“But they hate me,” Santana stated.

“They don’t hate you, they just don’t know you.”

“So...they hate me?”

“You’re impossible,” Santana chuckled. “Please just come to dinner tonight. I will do anything, please?”

“Anything?” Santana’s voice dripping with all the possibilities of what ‘anything’ could be.

“Within reason. Keep it in your pants Lopez.”

“You offered Berry,” Santana smiled and she could feel Rachel smiling as well.

“Just,” Rachel paused, “please consider it?”

“I’ll be there, Rachel.”

Santana had to hold the phone away from her ear while Rachel squealed on the other side of the line. Santana couldn’t help but laugh at the girl’s antics and adorableness.

“Thank you, thank you! I’ll see you at 7pm I guess?”

“7pm it is.”

Santana pulled up outside of Rachel’s house. It was 6:50pm, but she figured she needed the 10 minutes to gain her composure. She had spent the last few hours finishing Rachel’s letter and trying to pick out an outfit. She tore apart her whole closest while her mother stood in her doorway and gushed about how adorable it was that Santana was dressing up for Rachel.

Needless to say, Santana couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

A small flower arrangement sat beside her on the passenger seat. She wanted to bring food, but wasn’t sure what to bring and she didn’t know what they were having, so she decided against that. Instead, she brought a bouquet of various flowers that were bought last minute from the flower section in the grocery store.

It was the thought that counted, right?

The flowers were more for Rachel then anything, but she didn’t want to come empty handed.

When she looked at the clock, she realized it was 7pm on the dot. She checked the rear view mirror to make sure her makeup looked okay. She added another coat of lip gloss before grabbing the flowers and her purse and getting out of the car. She walked up the Berry’s driveway before her shaky hand knocked against the door. In no time at all, Rachel pulled the door open.

“Just on time,” Rachel said.

“You said 7, right?” Rachel nodded furiously.

When Santana’s eyes gazed over Rachel’s outfit, she couldn’t ignore how amazing the tiny, starlet looked. She wore a red dress that was cut just above the knee. The dress fit her form, but not too fitting. The dress was sleeveless and it was accompanied with a beautiful gold necklace.

To say she was beautiful was an understatement.

“What are those?”

Santana was brought from her thoughts with Rachel’s question. It was only then that she remembered the flowers hidden behind her back.

“Oh...flowers. I didn’t know what to bring so-”

“They’re beautiful, thank you,” Rachel smiled.

“It was the least I could do,” Santana could feel her cheeks burning. She was sure that even with her caramel skin, Rachel could see the faint tinge of crimson.

“Do you want to come in?” Rachel questioned.

“Yeah, sorry,” Santana laughed nervously.

Santana took a moment to familiarize herself with the house once again. The last time she was here is when Rachel had that party while her parents were away on a cruise. And if she was quite honest with herself, she didn’t remember a lot of that night. All she knows is she woke up in her own bed with a pounding headache and a very naked Brittany.

Rachel took her coat and hung it up in the foyer closest, so she was left with her black, strapless dress. It was plain in comparison to Rachel’s, but it was the only ‘family friendly’ dress she owned.

“Dinner won’t be ready for a few minutes, so do you want to watch t.v. while we wait?”

“Yeah, that sounds fine.”

The two sat on the couch, Santana putting some distance between them. She didn’t know why she was acting like this. She was sitting three feet away from Rachel and babbling like an idiot every time she made an attempt to speak. She was never like this. But then it donned on her.

She was nervous.

“You know I don’t bite,” Rachel voiced.

Santana looked over at the small girl next to her, “Sorry.”

Santana made no attempt to move, so Rachel took a small breath and moved beside the Latina. Santana could feel the brush of their thighs before Rachel reached out and grabbed her hand, easily intertwining their fingers.

“You don’t have to be nervous. It’s just me. And trust me, if I can love you, my dads will love you.”

“But I’ve always been horrible to you, and I screwed up your relationship with Finn-”

“You didn’t do anything. Finn and I hadn’t been working for awhile. The only thing you did was made me realize I wanted and needed more, and you were there to give that to me.”

“Yeah, but I was still a bitch to you most of your life. They have to know that.”

“They do,” Rachel paused. “But do you want to know a secret?”

“What,” Santana questioned nervously.

“Daddy used to be really meant to dad before they fell in love. Daddy was on the football team and dad was on the debate team. Daddy said he used to pick on dad because he didn’t know how to deal with his feelings, so he lashed out on the object of his desires.”

“He said that?”

“I may be paraphrasing a little, but that is his story. I know that’s what you were doing. You were afraid of being different and being judged, so it was easier to attack me then deal with your feelings. It took me a while to understand that, but once I did, I couldn’t blame you anymore. I knew you were hurting and if tossing a slushy in my face was going to make you feel even a little bit better, then I was going to let it happen.”

Santana pulled Rachel into a tight embrace before she could feel Rachel’s arms circling around her lower back.

“I’m sorry for putting you through that, no matter what you say. Yeah I was confused and hurting, but that doesn’t mean I should have taken it out on you. That wasn’t fair to you,” Santana pulled back from the embrace. “But the good news is that for as long as you’ll have me, I get to spend each day making it up to you. And I promise I will.”

Hiram and Leroy watched the conversation unfold as the stood just out of sight near the family room opening.

“I like this one,” Hiram mentioned.

“I think I like her too, much better than that Finn boy.”

“I kind of don’t want to say dinner is ready. They look too adorable.”

“Girls, dinner is served,” Leroy announced as the girls quickly separated.

The four had been chatting animatedly while they enjoyed the vegan stir-fry that the Berry men had made for the occasion. They jumped from Rachel’s ideas about the spring musical, to Glee club and Nationals, to how each of their days went. Santana had a permanent smile plastered on her face. She forgot how nice this was; family dinner. She missed animated talks about her day and the playful banter she had with her parents. Though they did have dinner together occasionally, it was few and far between.

Soon the four had devoured their meals and sat at the table with full stomachs and satisfied smiles.

“That was amazing Mr. Berry.”

“Please, call us Hiram and Leroy. It gets exhausting trying to figure out who you are trying to talk to,” Leroy offered.

“Finn never really understood that, did he?”

“No he did not, no matter how many times we told him.”

“Well, he was never the brightest. Maybe he took one too many footballs to the head.”

The three broke out into laughter while Rachel attempted to hold a pout before shortly joining them.

The four help clear the table and clean the dishes, even though both Hiram and Leroy told Santana she could sit and relax. After all, she was a guest. But she decided to help out instead. The three talked a bit more while they all sat in the family room, Hiram and Leroy cuddled closely together and both Rachel and Santana sitting close. Soon it was time for Santana to leave and Rachel offered to walk her out.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“No, it was actually a lot of fun. I really like your dads. They’re really cool.”

“I’m sure they’ll be ecstatic when they hear that,” Rachel chuckled.

“I had a lot of fun tonight,” Santana stated as she reached forward and grabbed Rachel’s hand, playing with the diva’s fingers.

“I wish you didn’t have to go. It feels like you just got here.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

Rachel nodded before surging forward and placing a soft peck to the Latina’s lips. It was only brief, merely seconds, before Rachel pulled away.

“Sorry,” Rachel apologized.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I told you, this is all up to you. Whatever you want to happen between us will happen. The ball’s in your court.”

“Then I’m not sorry,” both girls smiled.

“I guess I’d better go. It’s getting late.”

“Okay, I’ll see you in Glee tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Santana quickly pulled Rachel into a hug, and it took a moment, but soon Rachel was hugging her back. She placed a soft kiss to the smaller girl’s check before pulling away. She started to walk towards her car before she remembered the letter in her purse.

 “Oh, I almost forgot,” Santana pulled the letter out and handed it to Rachel. “This is for you.”

“What is it?”

“I figured I would start the whole letter writing thing too. Just promise you’ll wait until I’m gone to read it.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Santana placed one final kiss to the diva’s cheek before jumping in her car and pulling away from the Berry household. Rachel flipped the envelop over to read the front.

_Day 1: Your voice_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading my story and leaving comments and kudos. It really means a lot to me :)


	11. Take Me or Leave Me

Rachel stood of the end of the driveway, the letter weighing in her hands. She looked out into the street, somehow expecting to see Santana’s taillights, but was only met with the darkened street. The only light that came was from the dim street lights that lined the road. She knew she had been standing there for quite awhile, but she didn’t realize how long it had been. She took the letter that was clutched in her hand and made her way back to her house.

She made her way through the front door once again, ignoring the questioning looks on her fathers’ faces as she made her way upstairs into her room. She closed the door behind her, making sure it was locked, before she sat in the middle of her bed.

She looked at the letter again, turning the envelope in her hands. Out of all the things Santana could have done for her, she never would have expected this. From what Rachel could tell Santana wasn’t even remotely close to being described as the romantic type. She was always the Lima badass. The girl who didn’t do feelings-well, maybe if it was behind closed doors. So it surprised Rachel that Santana was trying.

But she was happy she was trying.

She opened the envelope, pulling out the folded letter. She made herself comfortable before reading the letter over.

_Okay, first off, I am not very good at this. You know; the feelings part. Over the past few days, the last couple of weeks, I have been doing my best to try and be there for you in every way possible. And while it was draining at times, I was glad to be there by your side._

_I was glad to be there because you’re worth it._

_You are worth it because you decided to try and take a chance on me. You ignored logic and safety and followed that tether towards me. You let go of that plan that I know you have had set in stone since you first learned to walk to be with me. Or, at least try and be with me._

_Or maybe you never let it go, but you managed to make room for me. And to be honest, that thought terrifies me sometimes. I’m worried one day I will screw it all up because that is what I always do._

_I screw things up. When things get hard or serious, I run. I run so far away because I feel like nothing good can last forever. So why get too attached? It was much easier to embrace heartbreak than to follow happiness._

_That’s why I denied who I was for so long. It is also why I dated Puck. I did it because it was easy. I may not have always been happy, but it was easy. I could handle that._

_Then Brittany came along and opened that part of me that had been locked away for so long. She opened up that person that had been hiding away beneath the surface. And while I was happy, I was also terrified. I was afraid of the looks and the talks. Afraid of what people would say behind my back._

_I was afraid to be me._

_But then she made me realize I didn’t have to be afraid to be who I was. I didn’t have to be afraid because the people who loved me and accepted me were the only ones that mattered. It didn’t matter what names people called me, or what people said behind my back. It didn’t matter because as long as my friends and family accepted me, those were the only people I needed._

_It just got hard to believe it would all be okay one day. That eventually, the world would stop feeling like it was going to fall down around me._

_This kind of brings me to the first reason that made me fall for you._

_Day 1: Your voice,_

_I remember the day as if it were yesterday (as cheesy as that sounds). It was when Glee first started. Coach Sue told us about her plans about taking down the club before it cut into the Cheerios budget. So, she made us go with her to spy on the club._

_We stood in the risers above the stage, looking down as you all performed. It was just the five of you then, but you all looked so happy and alive. And at the time, I would had given anything to be that happy, but I had become this miserable person and that is just who I was. I was the bitch._

_But you walked around that stage, giving it all you got, your voice echoing in the empty auditorium. And I couldn’t help but fall in love with you a little bit. They way you could carry on and sing your heart out, no matter what you were dealing with...with what I made you deal with. And you sang on that stage about how you should never stop believing._

_I remember being in the risers, standing behind Coach Sue and holding back tears, trying to ignoring that burning feeling in the back of my throat. I held back tears because back then, I felt like I was never going to be that happy; that I wasn’t meant to have big dreams. My dreams consisted of marrying a rich husband, maybe having a few kids and living the rest of my days in Lima, Ohio._

_But you made me believe, just for a moment, that I could dream bigger than that. And at the time I didn’t want to accept it. I didn’t want to accept that out of all the people in the world, you were the person that made me realize that I could have more._

_But it didn’t make it any less true._

_I remember going to Brittany’s house after. I tried my hardest to keep your voice in my head. I kept replaying the song over and over again, but the more I thought about it, the more the sound seemed to slip away from me._

_It was then that Brittany silently handed her phone over to me. She had a video of the performance, mostly for Cheerios purposes. I was surprised she handed it to me. I hadn’t realized I was so easy to read. But she handed it over, not saying a word. I quietly texted the video to myself, not saying anything back. I don’t think I really had to though. Brittany has always been good with people and everyone tended to underestimate that. They still do, but I didn’t._

_I didn’t because when I went home that night, I played the video over and over again, feeling like each time I watched it I was seeing it for the first time. I played it repeatedly until my eyes grew heavy and my battery died._

_So ignore all those years I insulted your voice or your talent, because I never meant it. Any of it. Some days, your voice was all that got me through. On days when I thought I would never stop being that miserable person, I listened to you sing Don’t Stop Believing, and it renewed that part of me a little._

_So the first reason I fell in love with you; your voice._

_For as long as you’ll have me,_

_Santana_

Tears were streaming down Rachel’s face at a rapid pace. Each time she tried to wipe the old tears away they were replaced with fresh ones. The salty taste of tears lingered on her lips as she ran her tongue across them to catch the stray tears.

She ran her fingers across the words, unsure of where they came from. If someone had told her Santana Lopez had written this letter a few months ago, she wouldn’t have believed them. For one who stated that they weren’t good at feelings, or someone who showed no signs of being a romantic, the words she wrote were beautifully tragic. Santana poured a little of herself onto a lined sheet of paper, her emotions forming words. They were so honest and sweet, while simultaneously heartbreaking. The whole thing sent Rachel’s mind through a loop.

She peered over to her night stand to look at the clock, noticing it was nearly 11. She hadn’t realized how late it was, but it was far too late for her to call Santana now. She pulled out her phone anyways from the nightstand draw and sent a quick text to Santana.

**_The letter was beautiful. Thank you <3-R_ **

She put the phone down on the table and proceeded to start her nightly routine before going to bed. She washed her face, brushed her teeth and threw on a pair of cotton shorts and a loose t-shirt.

She was about to crawl into bed before she noticed Santana’s name light up across her phone. She swiped a finger across the unlock bar before reading.

**_I am glad you liked it :) I know it wasn’t much, but I thought I’d try-S_ **

**_It was more than enough-R_ **

She waited a few minutes for a reply from Santana. When none came, she put her phone back in the drawer and turned off her lights, sinking in to the comfort of her bed.

_Beep Beep_

Her alarm goes off and she forces herself to roll over and turn it off. Usually she is more than happy to get up and start her vigorous morning routine, but this morning was the exception. The sound of the alarm woke her from her dream. One that consisted of Santana...in her bed...hovering above her...

“Shower,” Rachel said aloud, sitting up quickly.

She let the cool water roll over her skin, diminishing the painful throb between her legs. When it was bearable, she turned the knob over to the hot water. This was something that started to happen more frequently with the brunette; dreams of the Latina above her and below her, squirming and writhing. She was frequently waking up to the familiar throb between her legs, quickly relieving it with a cold shower or vigorous exercise.

She felt like a horny teenage boy.

Truth be told, she never had these kinds of dreams of Finn. Sure she was attracted to him, he was her boyfriend/fiancé for a great deal of time, but she never dreamt about him in that way. She didn’t dream about him in her bed, his large build hovering over her. Nothing. But with Santana it was becoming an almost daily occurrence. She hadn’t truly kissed the girl, aside from the party, and she was already having dreams about her in her bed. Inappropriate dreams.

She turned off the water and dried herself off before quickly changing into her work out clothes. She was getting really used to these double showers in the mornings.

She was about to get on her elliptical when her cell phone started ringing. She quickly grabbed it from her nightstand drawer before reading Santana’s name on the display.

“Good morning star shine, the earth says hello.”

“You did not just say that?” Rachel replied.

“I just did. Sorry, did I wake you?”

“N-no I was up,” she paused. “Actually, I was just thinking about you,” she blushed at the thought of the cold shower.

“Wanky,” Santana chuckled and Rachel’s face turned redder. “But really, I called to see if you wanted a ride to school?”

“I was going to drive, but I wouldn’t turn down the offer. Is there any reason?”

“Besides spending more time with you?” Rachel was sure her face resembled a tomato by now.

After a breath, Santana continued. “I wanted to run some ideas by you about the spring musical. I thought since we don’t really have any classes together, I can run the idea by you in the car and you could turn the idea over.”

“That sounds really great actually!” Rachel said excitedly.

“Okay, see you in an hour.”

Rachel hung up the phone and made her way over to her elliptical, trying to hurry through her morning routine before Santana got there.

“Grease?”

“Yeah. I mean, we already did West Side Story for the fall. Grease seemed like the next best option.”

“I was thinking of something like Wicked, maybe Rent?”

“While those are all great plays, this is Lima, Ohio. Culture doesn’t really thrive here. If you asked someone about Wicked, they would give you a blank stare. All I’m saying is everyone knows Grease. There are very few people who don’t know Danny Zuko.”

The light changed to green and Santana turned on to the school road.

“Okay, so Wicked is out, though I would make a remarkable Elphaba with Kurt as my Glinda,” Santana smiles at Rachel, holding back a chuckle at the thought of the two in costume. “But what about Rent? It is a remarkable story and the personalities suit the Glee club so well.”

“While I would love to be the Joanne to your Maureen, the show is far too sexual for high school. I mean, it was already hard enough trying to get Rocky Horror. I really don’t think the school would appreciate a huge orgy,” Santana smirked.

“We can cut that scene and make it more pg for the audience,” Rachel huffed at how easily her ideas were being shot down.

“But then it just wouldn’t be the same.”

“Without the orgy?” Rachel raised a quizzical brow.

“Not just that, but if you cut out the overtly sexual stuff, It just wouldn’t be the same story.”

Santana pulled into the school parking lot and drove around until she found a space. She cut the engine of her Range Rover before turning slightly to face the petite girl.

“Like I said, I thought I would throw the idea out there,” she smiled.

“I really appreciate you doing that. And I like your idea, I just don’t know if it will be enough for NYADA scouts.”

“I am just trying to get you a play that won’t be shut down by the board and Coach Sue.”

Rachel nodded in agreement. She knew Santana was right, Rent was a little risqué for small town Lima, but she didn’t know if Grease was enough for the scouts. I mean, how much depth could be added to that story? Sure it was fun and energetic, but not anything that would impress those outside of the Lima bubble.

“I have an idea,” Rachel said suddenly. “How about after school, you come to my house and we will watch both films. From there we can decide which play would be more suitable.”

“Is Rachel Berry asking me out on a date?” Santana smirked.

“Not yet. Our date will be much better than just movies in my living room. I’m planning for something bigger,” Rachel returned the smile.

“Now I’m just curious,” Santana chuckled.

“You’ll see soon, Ms. Lopez,” it was now Rachel’s turn to smirk.

“How soon?”

Rachel could see there was a little more weight to this question. She knew Santana was patiently waiting for her to be ready, and she really appreciated it, but she knew Santana wanted more. Needed more. Santana has been waiting on the sidelines for a few weeks now, unsure of where she stands, and Rachel knew she just wanted an idea to whether or not it was worth pursuing; whether or not she was truly going to let go of Finn. She knew he girl just wanted an idea of where this was going so she didn’t get her heart broken.

Santana needed an answer.

“Very soon,” Rachel gave a weak smile.

Santana nodded, a small flicker of hope in her eyes. She knew Rachel wanted to be with her, that wasn’t the question. But wanting to be with her and fully committing to be with her were two different things. She just wanted to make sure Rachel was still up for the commitment part.

The ring of the bell echoed out into the parking lot, signaling they were both already late for first period.

“So after school?”

“I guess I don’t really have a choice since I drove you,” Santana smiled.

“Good point,” Rachel returned it.

They both grabbed their bags and got out of the Range Rover. Being already late, they walked slowly to their lockers, taking their time getting their books for their respective classes. They were trying to spend as much time together, seeing as they didn’t share any classes today.

Santana waited as Rachel got her things for English, and Rachel did the same while Santana got her things for Calculus. Santana walked Rachel slowly to home room before pulling her into a small hug.

“After school.”

“After school.”

It was truly starting to feel like déjà vu; sitting at her desk in the back of the classroom, eyes on the clock. Watching the minute hand circle the numbers languidly as she waited for the final bell so she could see Rachel. The only bonus of Biology is she didn’t have Puck sitting beside her to pester her about being whipped.

Which she was, but she would never admit it aloud.

She sat in the back next to another Cheerio who she barely talked to unless they were doing a lab. The girl was in the grade below her, but she managed to get into the grade 12 bio course. The notion made Santana dislike the over achiever.

So she sat, scribbling down some anatomy notes and she hoped the final bell would sound soon. It was really hard to keep her focus on the lesson because of her eagerness to see Rachel. It may not officially be a date, but it was the closest thing they have had to a date and Santana wasn’t about to waste the opportunity.

“Ms. Lopez, will you please answer the question?”

“And what question would that be?” Santana knew she had been caught not paying attention, but she was hoping to drag this out for as long as possible.

“Can you tell me how a blood cell gets from the heart to the brain?”

“I am going to assume through veins,” the class chuckled.

“Well, I am glad the class thinks you are a good comedian. Clearly you wouldn’t make a fit doctor.”

Santana knew she was wrong due to the fact that both of her parents were doctors. She knew more about medical practice than some first year res students. She just could care less about how a blood cell travels from the heart to the brain.

“That is your opinion.”

“Am I wrong?”

“Extremely.”

“Then why don’t you answer the question?”

“I would, but I think Missy here next to me is just creaming to answer for me.”

The Cheerio next to her shot her a dirty look before scribbling in her notes once again. The teacher was about to scold Santana before the bell sounded and the students gathered their things quickly and headed out of the room. Santana was sure to get a detention tomorrow, but she sure as hell wasn’t getting it today.

“Okay, I let it go earlier because I was trying to be chivalrous, but if you touch my radio one more time Berry I will go all Lima Heights on you.”

The two were already in the car heading towards Rachel’s house, after Santana had a small talk with the principle. Apparently her bio teacher couldn’t wait until the next day to give her a detention. It was a good thing Figgins was gullible enough to believe her story about volunteering with vampire victims and let her go with just a warning.

“That’s not really chivalrous. And you know, Berry doesn’t sound as threatening as it used to. It is actually kind of cute.”

“I don’t do cute.”

“Your letter and natural dorky self suggest otherwise,” Rachel shot Santana a smirk.

“I don’t even know why I like you.”

“I don’t know why I like you either.”

Both girls stared at one another before cracking smiles and bursting out into laughter.

Soon Santana was pulling into Rachel’s driveway. Santana was happy to see that only Rachel’s Prius was there. She loved the Berry men, but she didn’t want them crashing their “not date.”

“Are you hungry? I can make us something to eat,” Rachel asked as she walked into the kitchen.

“Yeah, a little. Coach has got us on a crazy diet she picked up on some foreign blogging site. It’s been banned in most countries, including the US.”

Rachel raised a quizzical brow, unsure if this was true or not. However, knowing Coach Sue, she wouldn’t put it past her.

She opened the fridge and began making a small platter for them to sample during the movies. She had some hummus with some pita bread, as well as a wide arrangement of vegetables. Santana just sat at the kitchen island and watched Rachel move around the kitchen with ease. She couldn’t help but think of the future. She could imagine coming home from the office, Rachel home after another audition. She would place her bag near the front door and join Rachel in the kitchen, wrapping her arms around her and kissing her hello. Sitting at their kitchen island, much like she is now, watching Rachel making dinner.

It was something she hoped for.

“Santana?”

Santana shook her head at the sound of Rachel’s voice, “Yeah, sorry.”

“Where did you go just there?”

“I didn’t go anywhere,” she smiled.

“You looked so distant for a moment. Thought I lost you for a second,” Rachel returned the smile.

“Just thinking.”

“About?”

“The future.”

“Anything in particular?”

“You. Me. Just like this.”

Rachel gave a small smile. She thought about it sometimes; their future. But it scared her to do so. It scared her to think so far ahead when they barely started anything now. How did Santana even know they would make it that far? Be living together?

In a perfect world, Rachel wanted all those things. She wanted to fall asleep curled up beside Santana, and wake up to her in the morning. She wanted lazy Sundays and date nights. She wanted cats, kids and grandkids. She wanted it all, but sometimes want wasn’t enough.

They were only 18 years old. Who knows who they’re going to marry at 18? Granted she knew that she almost walked down the aisle with Finn, but that was a mistake. That was fear.

She didn’t want to be afraid to be with Santana, but sometimes her past came back to haunt her. Sometimes love and want weren’t enough, but she wanted it to be with Santana. Santana was different.

“Hey Rach, you okay?” Santana asked, looking concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s go watch those movies.”

Rachel grabbed the tray and started heading towards the family room, Santana following behind her. She placed the tray on the glass table before walking over to the TV and placing Rent into the DVD player.

“Rent first?” Santana smiled.

“Well, ladies choice first, right?” Rachel returned the smile.

“Who said you were a lady?”

“I’m offended by that,” Rachel feigned offence.

“I’m offended you didn’t consider me a lady in the first place,” Santana shot back.

They both faked offence, seeing who would give into laughter first. Both lost when they cracked into beaming smiles and fell into a fit of laughter.

“Just play the movie, Berry.”

“Sure thing, Lopez,” Rachel smirked.

Santana couldn’t ignore the way her last name rolled off of Rachel’s tongue. They way it was almost rasped out shot directly to Santana’s core. She watched as Rachel turned, giving her a knowing smirk as she squirmed slightly.

The opening lines to Seasons of Love filtered to their ears and they both immediately fell silent, eyes focused on the screen. Santana was immersed with the number but noticed when Rachel shifted closer towards her.

“See, everyone in the Glee club has a perfect part for this play.”

“Okay, who are you thinking?” Santana questioned.

“Artie would make a perfect Mark, the whole director thing going on. Not to mention he looks quite similar to the film mark.”

“Okay, agreed. Keep going.”

“Puck would make a perfect Roger. The damaged rocker who learns to let go of what he has lost in order to find true love.”

“I’d hardly say he is damaged, but I can definitely see it. Continue Miss. Berry,” Santana smiled.

“Blaine would obviously be Tom and Kurt would obviously be Angel. That is just a given. Also because it is impossible to separate those two,” Santana chuckled in agreement. “I would obviously be Maureen and you would obviously be Joanne-”

“Because I’m a lesbian?”

“N-no that’s-”

“Oh I get it, you just want to see me in a suit,” Santana winked.

Rachel blushed at the suggestion and turned an even darker shade of red at the visual in her head. She shook the thoughts away before answering Santana.

“Okay, yes partially because of her sexuality. But also because she is a Lawyer, which is something I know you were thinking of being,” she paused. “And it also means you get to be with me.”

“I believe they do have an engagement party,” Santana smiled.

“You don’t hear me complaining,” Rachel returned the smile.

They both turned back to the screen, the thought dancing around in their heads, the statement holding more meaning than shown on the surface; the hidden promise of commitment beneath the idea of a fake engagement party. The idea even more solidified as Rachel weaved her fingers through Santana’s, the Latina stroking her thumb over Rachel’s knuckles. They stayed like that until Take Me or Leave Me came on.

“Every single say, I walk down the street. I hear people say baby so sweet. Ever since puberty, everybody stares at me. Boys, girls, I can’t help it baby,” Rachel belted out as she stood up, dancing around the room.

“You’re crazy,” Santana laughed.

“So be kind and don’t lose your mind. Just remember that I’m your baby,” Rachel sang out as she jumped up on the other couch. “Take me for what I am, who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn, take me baby or leave me.”

Santana watched as Rachel moved around the room with ease, like she already had the entire routine mapped out in her head. She belted out the lyrics so flawlessly that she surely rivaled the real Maureen. Rachel may have actually been better.

“A tiger in a cage can never see the sun. This diva needs her stage! Baby, let’s have fun,” Rachel points towards Santana. “You are the one I choose, folks would kill to fill your shoes! You love the limelight too now, baby.”

Santana watched as Rachel hopped off the opposing couch, making her way toward her, “So be mine, or don’t waste my time crying ‘Oh Honey Bear, are you still my-my-my baby?’”

Rachel grabbed both of Santana’s hands and pulled the girl up. Santana let out a small squeal at the movement, but played along.

 “Take me for what I am, who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn, take me baby or leave me!” Rachel began to walk away from Santana, swaying her hips as she did so. Santana’s eyes immediately fell to Rachel’s hips as they swayed back and forth.

“No way can I be what I’m not. But hey, don’t you want your girl hot? Don’t fight, don’t lose your head, ‘cause every night, who’s in your bed?”

Santana chimes in when her cue comes up. “It won’t work. I look before I leap. I love margins and discipline. I make lists in my sleep, baby, what’s my sin? Never quit, I follow through. I hate mess, but I love you,” Rachel smiles at the phrase, even if it is just part of the song.

“What to do with my impromptu baby? So be wise, ‘cause this girl satisfies. You got a prize but don’t compromise, you’re the lucky one baby,” Santana pauses before belting out, “Take me for what I am.”

“A control freak,” Rachel chimes in.

“Who I was meant to be.”

“A snob, over attentive.”

“And if you give a damn,” Santana beamed at Rachel.

“A loveable droll geek,” Rachel smirked.

“Take me baby or leave me.”

“An anal retentive.”

“Take me baby or leave me.”

The two were standing in front of each other, faces close and breaths heavy. The song continued in the background, but they just stood, staring at one another.

Santana watched as Rachel’s eyes moved across her face, almost as if she was trying to figure something out. She saw Rachel’s brown eyes flicker up to her own before residing on her lips. Santana leaned forward, letting Rachel know it was okay if she was ready. The brunette paused for a moment before meeting her halfway and attaching their lips. It was soft, barely a brush, but it was truly the only true kiss they had aside from the party. After a moment, they pulled back. Santana searched Rachel’s face for a reaction.

“Was that okay?” Santana questioned.

Rachel waited a moment before answering. “Yeah,” she paused. “More than okay,” she answered before breaking out into a huge grin. “Maybe we should watch the rest of the movie,” she said quietly.

“Or we could not watch the movie and keep doing this,” she answered, pulling Rachel closer. “I vote for that option.”

“As much as I would love to, I am a bit old fashioned that way. I want a date before we christen my couch,” she smiled.

“This could be the date.”

“I want a real date. This doesn’t count,” she paused. “I didn’t mean to kiss you but you...you just looked so sexy.”

“Wait ‘til you see me in a suit,” Santana joked.

“Can’t wait,” she blushed.

“Okay, I may understand the appeal of Grease,” Rachel said from beside Santana, her head tucked under the raven-haired girls arm.

“I mean, obviously you would be Sandy.”

“Obviously.”

“And though I wouldn’t even chance going for Danny, I’d make an amazing Rizzo. Besides, I always thought she had a thing for Sandy anyways,” Rachel laughed.

“Puck would make an awesome Kenickie. Sam could be Putzie.”

“Okay, I can see that.”

“Sugar could be Frenchy because the resemblance is uncanny,” Rachel chuckled. “Brittany could be Cha Cha because of her awesome dance skills and we can integrate the rest of the club into the other parts.”

“And who would be Danny?”

Santana sighed and Rachel lifted her head. “As much as I’d hate to say it, Finn would be a perfect Danny. I know Mr. Shue would choose him anyways, but he does fit the part. Just try not to mack on him too much. I may get a little jealous,” Santana smiled.

“Are you sure? I don’t even know when he’s coming back.”

“I may not trust him, but I trust you. And he will be back eventually,” Rachel sat up fully and Santana turned to face her, “This is all for you, so I wouldn’t do anything to screw it up. I can’t promise I won’t get jealous or that I won’t be mad at Finn sometimes, but I wouldn’t let it get in the way of us or your chances at NYADA.”

Rachel leaned forward and gave Santana another peck on the lips, “Thank you.”

“My pleasure. And besides, we still have to decide which play we want to do.”

“Why don’t we let the club decide? I mean, I love both, but I want everyone to be comfortable with it.”

“Okay, tomorrow we will ask the Glee Club.”

 

 

 


End file.
